Latest from Binion's Ranch Butterknife Steakhouse

I was very excited to check my Inbox this afternoon after getting off work from North American Veeblefetzer.

It was a pretty tough day on the Size 7 Grommet line. We had to recalibrate the grommet-holer three separate times today due to a misfiring holer piston. It seems that the holer piston u-bracket (where it attaches to the steam yardarm, not the u-bracket that holds the degreaser assembly of course) was put in upside down by the night crew who do all the disassembly, cleaning and silicon lubrication on the Size 7 Grommet line.

I mean can you imagine screwing up a u-bracket like that? I don't even know how they got the grease nipples aligned with the access holes so they could lubricate the assembly. It's beyond ridiculous.

Logo before Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer was taken over by the Crafty Koreans and the Pesky Belgians.

So anyway we start up the line, and this grommet-holer is punching out grommet holes the size of Joan Rivers' yapper, which, if you are familiar with our product, is just a ridiculously large grommet hole for a Size 7 grommet. Yeah, I can see it on a size 14 or maybe even a size 12 (in the new Everlast Grommet line) but Size 7??? All that was left of the grommet was a thin line that looked like a bathtub ring.

After about 10 gross of grommets coming out looking like melted rubber bagels (the tiny kind of bagels they have at buffets, not the regular kind - these are grommets, right) we shut down the whole line and try to figure out what is going wrong. We recalibrated, we cycled the steam yardarm inserts, we tried everything. Nobody thought to check the damn u-bracket assembly!!!!

Start up the line again and its almost lunchtime, so shut it down and wait for the horn.

Eat lunch, the usual, tuna sandwich on Wonder. Thermos full of Mrs. Flusher's Campbell's Du Jour. Ring Ding for dessert.

Fire up the line again (after reading the hilarious graffiti in the Men's - someone wrote some new limericks about that hot receptionist that started last month). Wave at Mrs. Flusher in the Estimatin' Department on the march back to the line.

Still the grommets are coming out like clowns lips.

Well we tried all the usual stuff and fired up the line a third time and the grommets are STILL screwed.

Goddam u-bracket.

And there was no word whatsoever from Binion's when I got home, either.

Maybe the B.R.B.S. manager has a u-bracket in upside down.



Postscript

Binion's minions never did offer opinions (or any other information) to me. I'd heard the last from them on the subject of the missing steak knives.

I responded to all this by never setting foot in Binion's Ranch Butterknife Steakhouse ever again.

Binion's Ranch Butterknife Steakhouse responded to all this by raising prices.

And that, my dear readers, is the end of the 'Will Gamble 4 Food' trip report.

Yrs.

R.F.