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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Craps Win at the Fremont

Update - on the 127th attempt to get a quad from three of a kind, I was successful. This stands as the (rather dubious) 'record' for abject gambling failure.

We did play for an hour and a half but had only 2 quads between us and one Wild Royal (me).
Anyway, I also finally scored a craps win, buying in for $40 at the Fremont and cashing out $71.

I stood next to a guy who looked like some sort of Michael Jackson one-glove Quaker Oats Man-In-Black cowboy. He's dressed in black from head to toe and has some strange gold jewellry on. One hand has a worn half-glove on it. His specs sport flip-up sunglasses. He was friendly enough and one of the crew greeted him with a warm hug. If you see the guy you'll know who I mean.

This guy is as interesting as the Caesars slot tissue guy.

While I was on my little craps win, Mrs. F. reeled in four bullets on DDB for $200, revitalizing her stake.

Unfortunately I am down and heading deeper.

Most things I try are short-lived and yield no paying hands of note. I call it the machine's "dumper mode".

Time for a nap because Mrs. F is down $7 on the day and I'm down $270.

At least we have a two free entree comp at Magnolia's for dinner.

View from Magnolia's Veranda at the Four Queens.





The Long VP March - part 3

We've now enjoyed The Long March Part 3 dragging our suitcases along the baked sidewalks of downtown Vegas from Main Street Station to Binions.

Binions Casino Neon Lights Las Vegas

I would rather chew broken glass in time to one of those ball-scrunching Bee Gees disco (still sucks) numbers they've been playing in the casino, like 'Tragedy' - which is not really appropriate for Las Vegas gamblers. (I always thought the refrain to that ditty was "I-can't-get-it-in..." not "Tra-ge-dy" in a rather inappropriate display of misheard lyrics.

We're hooked up for casino rate here - $22 a night.

How can any hotel in a major city be $22 a night?

The room is fine, fit for a (non) Flusher such as myself.

This morning saw a massive blowout at MSS with major losses on two fronts, casualties fleeing our wallets as the RAZGU hands dominated over the dingers (paying dealt hands) by a margin of about 10 to 1.

Oh, and just for fun, my count for attempt for a quad from three of a kind now stands at 125 failures in a row.

Don't the VP monkeys behind the screen know I am supposed to have success one time each 23 attempts, on average?




Craps Wipeout

The middle part of this day has been a bit choppy and heading into dinner at the Fremont, I am down about $200. Mrs. F of course is riding high on the backs of her four ducks.

I'm on a bit of a comeback having made a few bucks on deuces at MSS, and turning $5 into $40 while getting ready to eat.

I'm decided to shoot some $3 craps after dinner, which has been a wipeout for me lately.

Pit at the Fremont Hotel and Casino Las Vegas
Gambling at the Fremont
And... craps was a wipeout. Mrs. F went on ahead back to MSS to play some VP and then retire. I bought in for $60 an ended up with $10 left. In anger, I bolted from the table, past the gummy old Hawaiian guy who bets stacks of greens on the don't, with the intention of cashing in.

Ah yes. The intention.

I happened to spot a roulette wheel. Plunked a $5 chip on 17. The number was 18.

Last chip. I grouped four numbers around 9. And it hit! I picked up $40 in chips.

I laid down another similar bet plus one on the zeros.

I won another $40!

In all, I made back my craps stake and $15 to boot. Then I headed out, past the gummy old Hawaian guy still betting his stacks of green on the don't, past the drunk couples on the giant Wheel of Fortune slot installation which really ought to ride like a tilt-a-whirl when you hit a bonus, don't you think? I headed out under the canopy into the throngs of people, the lights, the sax guy wailing his syrupy jazz into the hot desert night. Fremont street is alive tonight and I've just won on roulette.

It was make or break time for my day. I popped a $5 bill into the machine and played some Bonus Poker, attempting to replicate my earlier feat of bootstrapping $5 into a decent profit. Nope.

Sadly, one of my very favorite $10 bills met the same fate.

And then one of my very, very favorite $20 bills.

Shit. This was going nowhere fast with a side of cold fries.

(I have no idea what that means, I'm feeling literary after writing that syrupy jazz paragraph.)

One more $20. I'm in a bit of a whole now. Try Double Double Bonus, go for broke.

Dealt 3 fours. No way.

For I am up to attempt number 112 trying to get a quad from 3 cards. (My record is 113, it broke at the El Cortez. Maybe I should head there tomorrow).

A few hands later, held 2 fours, and up pop two more, plus the kicker, and my machine is happily ringing up $200. SCORE!!!!!!!

I got a $3 scratchcard too. (They are all mostly $2 ones these days).

Final stats...

Mrs. Flusher is up $485 on the day, taking a huge bite out of her overall trip losses.

And Mr. Bigshot Royal Flusher is up $10 on the day, taking a tiny baby-nip out of his overall trip losses.

It's a good day and a win is a win is a win.




Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Deuces Dilemma part 3

This morning in Vegas started strongly with a longish session at MSS, with a number of quads and a straight flush dealt to me. But I am Royal Flusher, not Straight Flusher (!) and much as I like it I still want that elusive Royal.

I started the morning with some 70 failed attempts to get quads from 3 of a kind.

We decided to wander over to the Vegas Club and try the Deuces Wild with the 2000 coin payout on four ducks.

We took machines on the opposite sides of the bank. I stuffed in a greasy Vegas 20 and started playing.

About 2 minutes later, Mrs. Flusher popped up like a meercat.

"I GOT IT!"

This may not be the actual four deuceses described... but they are still pretty.
She'd hit the Four Deuces for a $500 bounty! What a nice hit to get! This is the largest payout of our trip so far, with second place going to a couple of $200 beauties earlier.

She got paid out and I resumed play.

Two hands later I got dealt 3 of 4 deuces. As you will note, I am on a streak where I can't get a quad from three to save my life. Naturally, I failed in this attempt. Just to add insult to injury I later got a straight flush on the redeal - containing 3, not 4, deuces.

But I'm happy. The Quad Queen has fulfilled her legacy and a big chunk of our losses have been put back into the Flusher coffers with one press of the Draw button.




All you need is Cash

Headed out to the Mirage to see Love.

Mirage Hotel and Casino with Beatles Love
The Mirage Love.
I thought it was really cool that they got access to the original master tapes of the Beatles sessions and made special mixes for the show.

For example, while waiting for the show to begin, you can hear a number of Beatles tracks without the vocals. I took this opportunity to sing along. Fortunately, I have had some formal training in my basement at home, and when I stand and face the seats, my voice really does project quite nicely.

Overall I enjoyed this show for a number of reason. One, gymnast flying chicks in lycra or flowing gowns etc. are incredibly sexy to watch. I got some great ideas for things to try at home, if I can get limbered up enough not to blow out five or six ligaments trying to wrap my feet in nine different directions at once. I can tell you though, Mrs. Flusher is in for some variety, if I can pull this off.

A lot of the stuff they did was sort of repetitive from other shows.

This sort of caused Mrs. F to be bored a bit.

For me though, the music more than made up for it.

But there was one thing missing, really, and that's the Beatles themselves, and it saddens me that we are down to only two left. Not only that, to make it worse, one of those is Ringo, probably the least attractive Beatle.

Seriously though, it was very poignant to see their shadows and hear their voices from the past, and knowing John and George are gone and we'll never, ever really have the Beatles again - its just sad.

I'm not sure if this show was a necessary excursion. It seems to dance around the whole point which is THE BEATLES and the MUSIC. Not the jumping, flying people in lycra.

Glad I saw it, and looking forward to the remastered box set coming out soon. Not sure I will see it again, and definitely will not be buying any junk from the gift shop (unless I can pick up the super cool Hofner 'Beatle bass' signed by all four Beatles for a reasonable price).

Meanwhile on the gambling front....

Mrs. F dropped $58 bucks today. Not bad for a day full of mop-top fun.

And I dropped $126 bucks. I had over twice as much mop-top, fab, gear fun as Mrs. F.

We're in a pretty big whole now... but WAIT!

I added up the comps and not including the MSS rooms lately, we are at over $900 in rooms and food comps. That offsets a lot of the gambling losses, right?

Right?...




Monday, September 28, 2009

Deuces Dilemma part 2

Downtown Deuces Wild
Even if it were spelled Dilemmna I would do the same thing again.

I went for it.

I did not get it. (See previous posts).

I ran the hand on the Video Poker WinSimulator 3000 featuring WinPoker back in the room.

The difference in EV greatly swings the meter in favor of trying for the four deuces. I totally made the right call by giving up $20.

I guess.






Deuces Dilemma

So, I reallllllly want to hit Four Deuces on Deuce Wild sometime soon. (And some ROYALS FLUSH, Hellooooooo).

Las Vegas Club Vintage Neon Sign Neon Graveyard

We're playing this Deuces Wild machine over at the Las Vegas Club that offers a $500 bounty on the deuces.

I'm dealt three deuces (see previous post)...

But I'm also dealt a pair.

So I have a pat hand of five of a kind which is worth $20 if I keep it. Or, I have a 1 in 23 shot at $500.

Our liquor-addled brains could not effectively figure out the Expected Value (EV) of the hand. 2000 / 23 = some number but you might still get four of a kind or five of a kind or even a wild royal if you just keep the deuces but its $20 in hand, which one has the greater value, and am I playing short term or long term...

So what do you think I did??? Keep the five of a kind or keep the three ducks and pull the trigger?




Three's Company, Four's a Crowd

When you get 3 of a kind on video poker, you have about a 1 in 23 chance of making a quad.

Stupidly, I count how many times I miss. I can't help it.

It is my self-deprecating degenerate depressive side coming out.

Right now, I am at seventy five attempts to get a quad from 3, without success.

The staff here at Main Street Station are starting to laugh behind my back every time I fall flat on my face, I'm sure of it.

Non Sequitur shot of the tournament.
Oh woe is me!








Gambling is weird


Video Poker Double Up
You beat a 4, you savvy player. You CAN'T LOSE!

Gambling is weird. And yet somehow has an organic ebb and flow, just like life. You can slave away for hours and things can change in minutes.

Take today for example. We got off to a great start hitting four or five quads combined... but then by lunch, we're down -190 and -85 respectively.

So I sat down at Super Aces hoping for lightning to strike. Four Aces would net me $500 on this extremely volatile game. I sat down next to a kindly looking woman and said, "I hit the Aces on this six times yesterday."

If you want to win, you need to intimidate the competition.

Needless to say, I couldn't hit the Aces. But we did go on an awesome little run, hitting Quad 4s for $100, a Straight Flush for $75, and two more quads for $62.50 - all in the space of five minutes.

It is such a RUSH!

We played around downtown for a while and I hit four Aces on BP for $100. And at this point we were both having a winning day, which greatly beats the alternative of having a crushing, losing, horrid, cruddy day (as per normal).

Then the machines went into dumperize mode. And I had a losing session at craps.

Next thing I know I'm down $180 on the day. What happened???

I gamble, that's what happened.

The 10oz (aka 1 pound) Prime Rib at Binions cheered me up a little with its meatal goodness. I freaked out Mrs. F by asking, while reaching with my fork towards a 2" square of blubber on her plate, "You gonna finish your fat?..."

Back to the Fremont to play a bit of craps, and some Pick'em. Lost $40 at craps and went to try Dick'em Pick'em.

Quads are really hard to get and on quarter Pick'em they pay $150, as Mrs. F demonstrated the other day.

I was down to about 20 credits and was dealt a hand in which I could match two 4s. Well two more popped up and I had $150 in credits. QUAD!!!!!!!!!!

The QQ said, keep going, get another. I thought, sure why not. Seven hands later, same scenario, not even dealt pair on the left, just matching two 10s and the other two popped up. The machine immediately started spitting out quarters and I had a great five minutes cashing out and scooping up 1200 quarters into plastic buckets and hauling my booty to the cashier.

$300 in eight hands. Nice.

The day finished with me up $116 and Mrs. F up $24.

That's a good day of weird gambling in Vegas.




Sunday, September 27, 2009

Good Morning from Vegas

It is almost lunch time here in Sin City.

Bright Spot - seeing a guy check in to Main Street Station with a blow-up doll under his arm. I managed to grab a pic just before security got there.

Vegas check-in blow-up doll
Main Street Station  check-in- I guess that's two in the room, sir?

Dark Spot - its almost lunch and I am down $190 and Mrs. F is down $85. We've had 5 quads between us but not enough to sustain through the attrition.

And just where the hell are my Royals Flush I keep asking???

I've had now seven attempts from 4-to-a-Royal, and the Missus has had six.

Surely we are closing in on it!

Golden Gate Hotel and Casino Las Vegas


Saturday, September 26, 2009

Ron Lancaster Redux


The curse of '23' (Ron Lancaster) has been lifted.

Mrs. Flusher finished a glorious 23rd in the VP tournament, out of 276 entrants.

This awards her a prize of $100.

We are celebrating with free drinks in the casino and some gambling.

Viva Mrs. Flusher!!!

Interesting that the winner gets $5000 - paid in chips. Now what do they expect the winner to do with those chips?




Chili Cheeseburger Deluxe

I had a wicked tasting mess of a lunch - the chili cheeseburger at the Market Street Cafe at the California. I figured it would provide good fuel for messing with the entrants at round 2 of the tournament.

We are on downtown casino walkabout, making the rounds to our various favorite gambling spots. This helps to break the pattern of losing it all in one stretch to losing it here, there and everywhere, with 2 minute breaks in between.

At lest we are getting some exercise out of it.

By lunch there was only one quad between us.

I am at -120 and Mrs. Flusher is at -180 for the morning.

Main Street Station Las Vegas Neon Sign

The second part of the tournament is done and the Quad Queen performed brilliantly, hitting quad fours with a kicker for 800 and quad King as well. She held 3 to a royal and ended up 1 card short. Getting that Royal would probably have put her over the top.

Going into this round she was sitting 69th. She needs to get into the top 50 to win money.

Her score this round was 2175, and I think she has a good chance to win some $$$.

We'll get the results shortly.




50 ways to get your ass kicked

There must be 50 ways to get your ass kicked.
50 ways to get your ass kicked
You just play the black jack
Bet on an also ran Stan
Just play a little ke-no Now listen to me...


It's another new day in Vegas, another chance to start fresh, with a renewed budget, and get my ass kicked 97 different ways again.

Mrs. Flusher dreamed there was a dragon living in our basement. I asked if all the curtains were singed and the walls blackened. They were.

Also, the dragon was four feet tall.

Also, it was purple.

Sounds like Barney with heartburn.


The day has started well enough with a $50 quad for the missus, and one for me, plus another $31.25 one.

We ate at the Cal. I tried the breakfast buffet - free with the All-Important Aloha coupon. Mrs. F had the steak and eggs - also Aloha-covered.

As of breakfast, both of us are up. Me by $24, her by $2.

This is in no way facetious - $2 is much better than -$200 - something I have done by breakfast time.

Maybe she'll win the $5000 tournament prize. We are talking over strategies to maximize her chances. Stuff like holding only one low pair instead of two, trying to get a quad.


Party on the balcony

Spent a very enjoyable evening in the company of DonD, his lovely bride, and all the terrific hombres and ladies of VMB.

Don and I met up at the Plaza to head down the strip.

We passed some time playing VP at the bar and he used his juice to arrange limo transportation down to the cocktail party on the south strip, and back home again.

It was just a wonderful evening catching up with old friends from VegasMessageBoard.com (VMB), and making some new ones.

I had some very fun and sometimes intelligent conversations with a couple of these folks, which was amazing considering the 9% alcohol beer B. gave me! (It was very good!)

All in all it was a welcome break from the casino grind and a reminder that good friends conquer all.

Special thank you to A. for hosting once again, in a gorgeous suite with million dollar strip views from the gigantic balcony.





Will Gamble 4 Food

California Hotel and Casino Video Poker Tournament
California Video Poker Tournament

The video poker tournament at the California was interesting. There are 276 entrants, more than I expected. Each session lasts 20 minutes and you have 1500 credits. Another meter keeps track of how much you win.

The top 50 win cash prizes, with the winner getting 5 large. Presumably bills. Five very large bills. Five very large thousand dollar bills.

The hope of course is to get quads (its Double Double Bonus), especially Aces, and of course, Royals Flush if possible.

California Hotel and Casino Video Poker Tournament

The Quad Queen did fairly well I thought. I kept track of the other competitors scores by wandering back and forth, checking scores, making loud helpful comments and expansive arm gestures, and occasionally passing 'buffet gas' when well away from Mrs. F.

California Hotel and Casino Video Poker Tournament
Double Double Bonus Video Poker Tournament Machine

Her first round score was 1465 and I only saw a couple other in that neighborhood.

After, we gave Treasure Chest VP a try where if you get a quad, you get to pick one of five treasure chests. The vast majority award 140 credits. Mrs. F hit one and picked a 500 credit chest - $125. Score!
Treasure Chest - the typical 140 credit win.
And, you know what? That was about all she wrote for the day. Ugh.

We retired to the 777 Brewpub. There is a table behind a glass window right next to the lineup.

"That's probably the least desirable table in the place. It would be like eating in a fishbowl."

The place was jammed. Finally, the hostess led us to our table.

The fishbowl table.

So, I took apart the little table sign dealy they have. It's a plastic holder with ads slipped inside, about 8" high. I turned the ad over and wrote a note on the blank side and put the thing back together.

Then I put it back on the table facing the lineup.

It read: "WILL GAMBLE 4 FOOD".

The Aloha coupon somehow covered Mrs. F's burger, but not my Monterey Chicken sandwich and rings. And I had to ask for new rings. They were cold. And actually, the sandwich was cold.

But I ate it as self-flaggellation for I am down $465 today.

And Mrs. F is even.




Friday, September 25, 2009

Aloha Coupons and the Long March part 2

We've taken the Long March once more time from the Four Queens back to Main St Station. I would rather poke my eyes out and replace them with sour fucking unripe kiwi fruits and pull my own toenails off with rusty pliers than do this ever ever ever again.

I felt like a beast of burden (and not the good Rolling Stones kind either) slaving in the desert heat.

Started the day in the FQ with four fours on Bonus for $50 and another similar one at the Fitz. The QQ hit a quad as well.

Breakfast was at the Fremont - we ordered off the menu instead of eating the buffet again. New York steak and eggs. Well, it turned out not so good.

Cold. Tough steak. The hash browns were obviously retreads - so tough on the outside you couldn't chew them. We ordered new ones. It was like flagging a cab in New York to get the waitresses attention and when it was all over, we had to take our own bill up to the cashier because we didn't want to petrify in place for waiting...

video poker king card
I usually eat like a King. And I'm a card. And I can't be dealt with.
The waitress came running up not to make sure everything ended up okay or to apologize for the botched meal, but to make sure we were going to pay. She said nothing to us and turned and left.




Life is Frigging Great in Las Vegas Tonight!


We ate dinner was at Binion's coffee shop* using the 2-4-1 coupon and paying for the rest on points. Notch another free meal. The 10oz prime rib was really good, and was a lot bigger than 10 ozes. It was more like 16ozes. In my gut it feels like 48ozes. I will probably put on about 128ozes on this trip if I keep eating the way I have been. But gambling makes me hungry!

We played Keno while we ate.

We played 6 numbers, a lot of the traditional ones we play including 23, the number of the late Ron Lancaster, star quarterback of the Saskatchewan Roughriders. (I generally play 34 as well. You Roughrider fans will know why.)

So 4 of 5 games go by and I can tell we are on the cusp of something big, since we haven't hit sweet fuck all yet. In game 5, 5 of our 6 numbers come up in the first 12 or 13. One more number and we are good for $1500. HOLY SHIT!!!

The last number we need is 23.

So, I start screaming, "GO LANCASTER!!!! GO RONNIEE!!!!!!!!!"

But Ronnie must have gotten tackled in the back field and coughed up the ball.

I now know that Keno is not fixed, because we actually won something. Yes, we shared an $87 win.

Time for our match plays.

We plunked down $10 on the passline on one of the front tables (the one facing the pole dancers, with a very good view of the very hot pole-dancing dealers in the passion pit, especially that busty blonde one who smiled at me the other day when I drooled on my shirt a bit.)

Anyway...

Shooter came out. Point was nine. Next roll, Nine. We each won $10 on the pass line bet and an extra $10 for the coupon. Nice.

We headed back to the Four Queens and hit the JoB. And we had a pretty good run at it. Mrs. F was all tuckered out after a long day of eating, drinking, sunning, and gambling, so I took her back to the room, tweaked her little toes under the covers, and then headed down to the Four Queens casino for one more bash.

Four Queens video poker jacks or better four of a kind

She had notched winning day and I was just short of a win.

Well! I went on a tear on Jacks and turned $20 into $80, including getting a dealt quad.

What a great day!!!

Mrs. Flusher redeemed my faith in love and video poker with a win of $344!!!! She has a ways to go to get even on the trip, but maybe this is the turning point. The quads are coming which bodes well for the coming video poker tournament. (And where are the Royals Flush for the Flushers???...)

I finished up $56.60 on the day, and up $15 on the trip so far. It's like getting paid to have fun.

Life is frigging great in Las Vegas tonight!

*This marks one of the last times we ever ate in the wonderful downstairs coffee shop at Binions - the one where Benny Binion had his own table. It's been closed for 6 or 7 years. Someday, we hope it will re-open in its former glory. R.F.




Thursday, September 24, 2009

Photos and Match plays


Binions Hotel and Casino Rooftop Pool
No running. No jumping. No 'horseplay'. No 'breaking glass and plummeting to your death'.
Binions rooftop pool was great! Quiet, nobody there, hot sun, great views, refreshing water. Really enjoyed it. We'll be back.

Wandered over the the Fitz to visit my birthday Royal machine upstairs and darned if Mrs. F didn't hit the BP Aces for $100.

She's on fire today!

I'm on fire too - but its just from a bit too much sun.

There's a coupon sheet you can get at Binions when you get your free picture with the $1M bucks. (They take it, print it, and give you a nice cardboard holder for it now.)

There is some gold in that sheet for the cheap bastard gambler (aka yrs truly)... a 2-4-1 entree at the coffee shop. (There seems to be no limit on this, that is, the number of coupons you can use in a lifetime, but the current one expires end Sept.)

There is a $10 match play - which is like free money - and a buy $20 get $25 in chips/slot play - which IS free money to the degenerate gambler such as myself.

We are going to use the 2-4-1 at dinner and then see about the match plays.




If you Can't Pick'em, Join'em -or- Money Plays!

So far this trip, as of this morning, I had 27 quads and quad equivalents (i.e. Wild Royals, Straights Flush).

Mrs. Flusher has had but 13.

And that is the tale of the tape.

But we're starting fresh with a couple hundy each as our starting stake today.

Off to a good start too - the quads seem to be coming for both of us.

And, we've named a new hand. As you know, the Dead Man's hand is AA88, which is what Billy the Kid had when the IRS caught up with him in Tombstone, Arizona.

The hand of Aces full of eights - AAA88 - is now called a 'Morgue'.

We played a lot the Four Queens and ate breakfast with the French people again, who are off on some l'autobus tour today. The women in the group glare at me, roll les yeux, and ignore my raised eyebrows.

By the time we headed over to the Golden McNugget, I was down 20 bucks and... drum roll... the QQ was up 70 bucks. Now that's a little different!

And, we'd hit eight quads between us.

The drinks started to flow at the Golden Nugget, since it was already 9:00am and we thought we'd see the hosts to check on a room for a trip extension. Because, who wants to leave Vegas?

They host office has a nice keno lounge just outside the door, full of armchairs.

Keno and great drink service and comfy chairs - that is living large on Fremont St!

Rooms rates were nuts. We'd downed about three highballs each, so we nearly flew over to Binions, where T., a very friendly and funny CW, kept 'em comin'.

Mrs. Flusher hit back to back wild royals, which was cool, and we were both cruising, in the zone, half bent, everything clicking and making money.

These are the times I will remember (rather foggily).




Encore, Encore!

Sam's Town was a bit of a wash - no major damage either way.

The shuttle dumped us at Harrah's, just slowed down a bit, cranked the door open, and pushed us out - and we walked right through the evil empire, and to the Fabulous Las Vegas Boulevard Strip. It looked more like a road to me.

I picked up all the porn-slapper cards that were offered to me and built up quite a nice collection.

As we waited in the rather lengthy line at the Casino Royale slot club booth, I flipped through the racy-looking cards, reading all of the girls' names out loud. I was disappointed to find only one "Crystal" in the bunch and only one "Tiffany". There were a bunch of "Miley"s though.
Casino Royale Free Fun Book Las Vegsa
Where can I get a free fun book?...
We got the coupons sorted and got down to business, and I hit my quad very quickly and got my $25 bonus. Easy meat!

Sadly, Mrs. F never hit a quad and never got the $25 bonus.

And then, I played all my winnings back in, including my $25 bonus.

I am pathetic.



Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wild Royals but Deuces?

Downtown Deuces Wild Video Poker Paytable El Cortez
Downtown Deuces Wild Paytable

Another sunny Fremont morning

Sept 23, 2009

Good morning from Las Vegas!

One of the best spots on Fremont Street is the Vue bar at Fitzgerald's. It's not the bar, necessarily (who am I kidding, a bar is a necessarility!), it's the little balcony outside, perched over all the downtown action! There isn't a better place to hang out and watch the day unfold on Fremont Street down below. I swear, from the Vue bar, you can hear the dogs on Fremont Street howl.

And why do they howl? Because they understand.

So. You grab a table and chair on the Vue bar balcony, and sneakily pick up the free wifi from the Krispy Kreme outlet, conveniently located for your poaching pleasure right below!

So I got settled in, and started to post this, when I felt a tap on the shoulder.

Shit. The Fuzz!




May the Chips Fall Where They May

Love Those Coin Droppers

Wed Sept 22, 2009

Back at Main Street Station, we decided to play some old skool ancient upright coin-droppers.

I said to Mrs. F "I have a feeling something really good is going to happen now."

I hit a low quad and three hands later held two Aces and got the other two for $100. (And my scratchcard was $5! We've seen only $2 cards up to this point.)

Three hands later I was dealt a straight flush. That's three winners in seven hands. I was as happy as Cinderella when she had seven hands laid on her. Or maybe it was fourteen - I'm too bashful to count.

Video Poker Coin Dropper Four Kings

Mr. Flusher won a bit as well and I ended up cashing out $200 for a $15 investment. This is better than a New York Ponzi scheme.

At this point I am up $240 on the day and Mr. F is up $50.

Plus meat.

And now I'm wandering around all the time muttering "I have a feeling something really good is going to happen now."

Movers and Shakers

Wed Sept 22, 2009

Four Queens Hotel Casino Las Vegas Fremont Street
How fun it is to drag 87 pounds of luggage 5 blocks in 100 degree desert heat!

I would rather pluck out my own eyeballs and replace them with freshly peeled unripe kiwi fruits than do that again, but on balance, I am too cheap to pay for a cab - or kiwi fruits for that matter.

So we'll do it again in 3 days when we go back to Main Street Station. I might need the eyeballs, and I can save the kiwis for later.

We had some lunch at Magnolia's Veranda. Played some, lost some, and gagged some at the new stink they've imported into the Four Queens HVAC.

The Four Queens has a bank of 14 machines with "6/9 Jacks or Better" on them - as indicated by the oddly worded signage.*

We had a bash at those and I went on a tear again. Plus, I made $50 playing 100-play at 5 cents a hand.

And as it stands, I am up $290 on the day and Mrs. Flusher is even.

I'll take it!

*As of August 2017, most of those machines live on in the same place in the Four Queens, with the same blatantly deviant signage. R.F.

May the Chips Fall Where They May

Thu  Sept 23, 2009

Yesterday we finished out the day playing various machines at the Four Queens. There were some bright spots, some not so bright spots, some dim spots, and some very dark spots. Some spots were very, very, black.

I hit another straight flush, which is always cool. Dumped my buy-in at craps. We both hit a few quads but at the end of the day I was up about $220 and Mrs. F was down $200.

So the day was a bit of a wash but a hell of a lot of fun.

The free steak at Fitzgerald's has been downgraded from a nice New York cut to... something that resembled saddle leather. The steak never falls too far from the horse at the Fitz promotion, if you know what I mean. Next time we'll use the coupons for eight bucks off another menu item.

We still have a pretty big hole to climb out of. I don't like to point fingers or assess blame or anything like that.

It's not Flusherly.

I will say this though, we are down, combined, as a couple, shared, together, all for one and one for all, about $700.

Oh, by the way, I am up $20 for the trip.

May the chips fall where they may.





Tuesday, September 22, 2009

We Eat Tonight!

Monday Morning in Vegas

Monday September 21, 2009


Our internal Flusher body atomic doomsday clocks are still stuck on Eastern time and we are up at 3:30AM.

This is vacation????

Down to the casino... Yes, this is vacation!

I got a good hour's play in at Main Street Station, but dropped $100. Well, I didn't drop it, exactly. I placed it. Yes, I placed $100 - into the machines.

Before long, Mrs. Flusher joined me. She also dropped $100. And then I dropped another $100.

There is a lot of money on the floor in the Main Street Station casino that we've dropped. Or placed. And for all that, I managed only 2 quads and the Quadless Queen managed a grand total of - naught. Zippity-fuck-all.

We're going to head over to The Fremont for breakfast and maybe pick up some stuff at Walgreens.

It's not even 6:00 am and we are down $300. Happy Monday.

Hope - Dare I?

Monday September 21, 2009 - continued

Hit the Fremont and we were too early for 7:00am breakfast.

I borrowed $40 from the First Bank of Mrs. Flusher and hit the $3 craps table. She took a bash at Pick'em.

Some guys at the table were just finishing a monster roll - they each had a stack of black chips behind the line.

Their point came in and they got down for the next point, each again with about $500 in odds. Another guy pushed a stack of green onto the field - I eyeballed about $650. The point was nine.

Finally some guys at the craps table who, like me, know what they are doing and are in for some action, baby!

I had $3 on the pass line and $4 in odds.

I felt very small.

Nine came in and these guys colored up for about $3500 each. Meanwhile, on my measly planet, I had another great run and cashed out $105 when it was time to eat. It's all relative, right, and a win is a win.

And, Mrs. F won some money on Pick 'em.

Hope.

We Eat Tonight!

Monday September 21, 2009 - continued

After eating breakfast (the not-very-good buffet), we lost a bit at Binion's and then hit Fitzgerald's to play the Meat Machines.

Mrs. F played some triple double plus bonus quad bonus machine or some such and I got the only Bonus Poker machine in the bank that offered the free steak dinner promotion.

She hit quad for $95 and got her free meat dinner coupon and on the next hand I played, I hit one as well!

WE EAT TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

Both of us!!!

We walked over to the Four Queens, and zipped through the casino to the lobby at the back. We registered for our room at the Four Queens and went to the slot club to get our Freeplay - we each got $20 extra for the slot tournament that we had arrived too late for - apparently we get the $20 even though we aren't in the tourney.

So I turned $70 FP into $75 cash and the QQ turned $100 free play into $120.

That's a bit better.




Monday, September 21, 2009

Ups and downs and downs

Quad Queen Breakthrough 9/20/09, 7:11 PM

Finally - a quad for Mrs. F!  Dealt four kings on Bonus Poker at the Golden Nugget.

She's followed up with another one, and I've got two more as well.

Nap time at Main Street Station....

Bed at Main Street Station California Neon Lights Las Vegas
Main Street Station Hotel and Casino - the perfect place to stay in the room and not gamble. I guess.

Ups and downs and downs

Well, the QQ's brief joyous upswing was short lived and turned into a swift debilitating downswing.

During the rest of yesterday she managed only one more quad - Aces, on the wrong machine. You know what that means, right? Four Aces on Jacks or Better for 125 credits, when the same hand on Double Double Bonus would have paid 2000 credits. It sucks to gamble!

For a while, I didn't fare much better. Even the nap didn't seem to help much.

Finally, I managed a $100 quad on Double Double Bonus just after Mrs. F retired for the evening.

And I decided to check out the dice action at Main Street Station, but buying in for $60 on a $5 table is very risky. After 10 minutes I was down to about $20 in chips left when I caught a great roll by a nice Hawaiian gentleman.

My $6 six and eight place bets hit a couple of times each. I pressed them up the next time they hit and they just kept coming in, $14 profit each time.

Cashed out $135 and then went back for one more bash at video poker.

Why.

Oh Why.

$100 disappeared. Then I decided for some reason to play dollar Bonus Poker.

I played for a good half a hour with my credit level hovering around 80-100. It's the last 2 minutes that trouble me - a quick slide into stupidity and cashing out zero.

But isn't that just it? You take the gamble and if it works, you are so smart for choosing to play dollars the right time

And if it doesn't work, you are a chump with buffet gravy stains on your shirt and bootmarks on your ego.

This trip is shaping up badly.

At the end of Sunday the 20th we are:

  • Mrs. Flusher: down almost 5 bills on the trip
  • R.F.: down $200 on the trip - thanks to the last hour today.

We keep this up, we're coming home Wednesday.

Unless I sell the plane tickets for food money.





Sunday, September 20, 2009

Crazy Eights in Las Vegas

Boars Head Bar Video Poker Four of a Kind 8s

The Will Gamble 4 Food Trip begins!!! We've arrived here in dry, hot Las Vegas. It's okay, it's a dry, dry hot Las Vegas.

Presidential Limo did not disppoint. Our flight got in about 25 minutes early - at about 10:00pm. I powered up the EmilioPhone and it registered with Net 10 down in Bogota right away. Apparently that floozy Fontina was doing her job properly for once, on what was Emilio's day off, no doubt. I called Presidential Limo and they reported that the driver was waiting for us.

And sure enough, he was. We got the full treatment, with champagne, a rose for Mrs. F, luggage handling, and the inevitable cache of chilled, puny waters in the back. Now that I think about it, I think that when I become a deep dish South blues man - my blues man name is going to be that. Puny Waters.

I got in about an hours play last night and sadly, had no big hit on dollars. But I scored the first quad of the trip with dealt 8s. That's four eights. All at one time. Dealt to me. Damn I'm good.

We grabbed a bite at the 777 Brewpub, with said bite consisting of under-par chicken phillies and onion rings, and crashed at 1:00 am (which is 4:00 am Flusherville time).

As usual on the first night, we slept fitfully for about five hours before the internal atomic clocks kicked in and we were up and out the door to hit the machines.

I've been hitting quads like a Hemingway hits the bottle. So far I am up to - get this - eight of 'em. (Quads, not bottles. I may be a blogger, but I'm no Hemingway.)

And stranger, I've had four eights dealt to me three times. That's a total of 24 eights, for what it's worth.

And what it's worth, is enough to support four or so hours of intensive quarter vp play. Right now, I am up about $30 on the trip.

The Quad Queen however, has a slightly different take on things.

Her quad total stands at...

Zero.

Zero? Is it possible? Zero quads for the Quad Queen???!!!

She is officially in 'Quad Drought' and says "I guess I shouldn't have had the 'L' for 'Luck' tattooed to my forehead."

I don't exactly know what that means, but a lot of people like it. They point and laugh.

She is down about $300 on the trip so far. Which is about 10 hours old.

Breakfast was at the California coffee shop. I ordered the $4 steak graveyard special, and the Two's Company graveyard special.

And in grand Flusher-Cul-Style I put away, into my tummy, the following foodstuffs:
  • 1 NY Steak (sourced from the Pimlico Ranch)
  • French Fried Potatoes
  • 3 slices tomato
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 sausage disks
  • most of a pancake, most of its butter, and all of its syrup
All for around $7.25. Damn I love graveyard food!

Live from Fabulous Flush Vegas, this is Royal Flusher.





Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Arriving in Style


Presidential Limo Stretch Limousine
There's nothing like doing Vegas in style in a stretch limousine.
We're getting very close to our next Vegas trip and the preparations are pretty much made. The last thing I had to set up was some transportation to and from the airport.

I've pretty much done it all in terms of transportation to the hotel from McCarran - taken the shuttle, rented a car, taken a taxi - the only thing I haven't done is take the bus. Next solo trip I intend to do just that.

I'm now convinced that the best way to go is to go in style and order a limousine. We used Presidential Limousine last trip.

I booked the web special for the stretch limo which was $108 for transportation from the airport to your hotel (Main Street Station in our case) and also, a return trip back to McCarran when it is time to go home.

The service sounded fabulous - we'd arrive off the plane and a uniformed driver would be waiting for us with one of those cards saying "R. Flusher" on it. You know those uniformed limo drivers with the signs and how uncomfortable they look waiting for whoever it is they are waiting for? The look on their face says "I'm bored as hell but I have to keep up appearances because any one of you shmoes could be my fare, so I can't let my full disdain show."

And oh how I have longed to have my name on one of those placards! I'd stroll up and the driver would greet me warmly. Then he'd scurry over to the baggage claim carousel while I made a few deals on one of my Blackberries. After he'd loaded the luggage into the limo, he'd escort the Quad Queen and I and load us in, handing us glasses of champagne as we entered the glassy, black, stretch limo.

What actually happened was, we arrived and there was no one to be found. No placard. No disdain even.

I hauled my own bags off the luggage-go-round and we plunked ourselves down on a bench to wait.

Finally I found a pay phone and called home for messages - since I'd left my home number with Presidential.

Sure enough, there were three or four frantic messages from the driver saying he was stuck in traffic and would be there as soon as he could.

Now it turns out, I didn't yet have a working cell phone for the US (which is the subject of another blog post I suppose). And I appreciated the tenacity of the guy to call long distance and try to get ahold of us.

So we weren't off to a great start but who wants to get in a snit at the start of their vacation?

I do.

That's who.

But Mrs. F looked at me in that special way she has and I decided to be big about it. I forgave the driver for being late and allowed him to cart the luggage to the limo, but insisted he do a couple of laps of Terminal 2 first as an honest penance.

The trip downtown was great and its only a few bucks more than a taxi.

Compared to what you face these days in a cab, it is worth every extra dollar to arrive at the hotel relaxed and refreshed, feeling like a somebody as you exit the stretch limo and stroll into the lobby.

So, we've gone with Presidential again, and this time we have working cell phones. You should give them a try next time you travel to Vegas.

The only wrinkle is, I've booked one return trip, and a single trip as well. Because of our screwy flight arrangements, QQ and I will return to the airport to go home at different times.

I'm very interested to see how this all pans out. But for our arrival, I just know, our driver will be there right on time, placard and slightly hidden disdain at the ready.





Sunday, September 13, 2009

Food Tastes Better When It's Free

gigantic smothered burrito
How could this amazing burrito taste any better? A: IT COULD BE FREE
The Comp game is a big part of casino life, and its part of what makes Vegas trips work for us.

Ahhh sweet comps, the illusion that you are getting something for nothing, the taste of comped food tickling your tongue and saying to you, "Finish every last bite of this 40oz steak, you got it free, you aren't wasting a single heart-clogging bite."

I remember the first comp I ever got. And this wasn't some slot club computer calculated comp, this was the real deal, a hand-written comp slip the way it always used to be done.

I buttonholed some poor suit in the gift shop at Luxor and whined about something or other to do with the buffet, then blabbed about how it was our anniversary and I probably wouldn't get laid that night unless Mrs. Flusher was appeased somehow.

He did two things for me.



Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Vegas Bound - How it's shaping up

aeroplan satire errorplan fixed mileage flight rewards

Our next trip is now less than 2 weeks away. I'm so excited, I could split a pair of 10s!

Since, as mentioned, I am a cheap-ass budget-conscious, we're flying on pernts from Air 'Fat Chance Flying Anywhere On Pernts' Canada.

Here's how it susses out. And I have to admit, when we booked this, we were in a total hurry. The few, meagre eats available on pernts were disappearing before our eyes as we manipulated the 43 screens you have to work your way through to book anything on Air FCFAOP Canada. It's like some kind of military obstacle course to get a ticket to anywhere, with some evil brain-washing backwards psychology thrown in - "You want to go to there? It's a 9 stop-over trip arriving three days after you started. Don't worry, some of those stopovers are in very nice regional airports north of the 68th parallel. There's a coffee machine that is often in working order."

Of course, for enough pernts that you could trade them in and get a late model Chevrolet Cavalier for, you can get a non-stop flight. It's pernt blackmail, and The Flusher does not roll that way. We will NOT negotiate with pernt terrorists!

I should be happy we are going but like I said, we were under duress. But damn, it's ugly.

First, Mrs. Flusher drives me to Flusherville Regional Airport for my flight at 16:00 hours (that's four o'clock to you folks who haven't mastered the lingo of modern air travel just yet.) Then, Mrs. F. drives home and has just enough Jameson's Irish Whiskey to still be under the limit for her return to the airport later on.

I fly on to Toronto and enjoy a three and half hour layover wandering from Starbucks to the men's room and back, then to the next Starbucks, then the next men's room. Except I keep going faster and faster as the layover wears on.




No Bills No Contracts No Evil -or- May I Call You Royal?


With our next Vegas trip starting very, very soon - tomorrow! - I took a moment to congratulate myself on finding the best deal on the best cell phones in all of America, rather than getting skinned with multi-dollars per minute on my Canada-based cell service.

Last trip I ordered a couple of basic phones from Net10 - got them for less than $30 each, which included 200 minutes lasting 60 days. I'm not sure how a minute lasts 60 days, but I think it has something to do with dentistry.
If this were Chippy, she'd look a lot like I did after an hour of call center escapades.
I slid over to the computer today to do a quick top up to make our cell phones ready for tomorrow's trip. Went to the Net10 site. Entered some basic information and - credit card not accepted. I repeated the process, figuring I must have slipped a digit and voila! - credit card not accepted. Must be because I'm in Canada. I'll use American Express. Retype all the info and voila! - credit card not accepted.

Fine, I will simply call their extremely convenient 1-877 number and purchase my minutes that way.

After a very brief period of wading through 17 phone system prompts, I reached Emilio, who would be very glad to help me. He was so glad to help me that he would have me repeat everything two or three times, as if I was speaking Martian or something.

"Sir, is there a first name that you can give me that I can address you by to serve you better?"

"You can call me Royal."

"Okay, I heard you say that your first name is 'Royal' - may I address you as Royal?"

What the fuck.




Sunday, September 6, 2009

Flashing, Royal Flusher Style or How to learn Blackjack the Royal Flusher Way Part 2

Tropicana Casino Blackjack Tables
YOU could be playing blackjack at this table, employing perfect basic strategy! So could I!
As someone who pretty much makes his own rules in life, I think the secret to me learning Blackjack is to get a set of rules and learn them, so that I'll know which ones to break. Since the strategy card is too ridiculous to memorize, I've been working on another way to learn Blackjack basic strategy to perfection.

My first stop - a favorite Vegas board, cryptically called VegasMessageBoard. On that board can be found a thread on a simplified blackjack strategy, which in turn refers to the original Blackjack Insider article

When you are a savvy, hard-nosed gambler like The Flusher, you need a simplified strategy because only a very savvy gambler would be able to take a complex strategy and distill it down into its key concepts. So the simpler, the smarter, and the more in keeping with the Royal Flusher Way.

I had access to this terrific simplified Blackjack strategy thanks to VMB and BJ insider and it presents the basic strategy in the form of text rules. I did what any mature student of wagering would do.



Wednesday, September 2, 2009

How to Learn Blackjack the Royal Flusher Way

As part of my incredibly anal detailed trip preparation for the Will Gamble 4 Food trip, I spent some time creating a custom blackjack strategy and distilled it down to 907 easy-to-remember color-coded rules, printed on a convenient single sheet of plywood.
royal flusher blackjack strategy card
Why make learning blackjack basic strategy difficult when you can learn the Royal Flusher Way, which is less difficult. Than this card.
Clearly, this would not do. I came up with a better approach on how you actually go about pounding the necessary strategy into your poindexter-sized brain, and wrote a couple of articles about it.

Here's an excerpt.

Most casual players out there don't play optimal strategy when playing blackjack. And this potentially has a much larger effect on the house edge than getting hosed by 6:5 does.