RSS findIndex trimsentences createcard

gridCSS

AdCode

createItems and other JavaScript code

Item Render Code


Tuesday, July 30, 2013

How to Stay Free in Las Vegas - Part 3 - Loving The Cal

Stiffened with my success at charming the Mynions at Wynn, I set my sites on the other thing I needed to make this upcoming trip a success... a stand at The Cal.



Why?

I love the Cal. It's homey, it's full of Aloha spirit and potential Island Senior Girlfriends, it's got tasty simple food, lots of good video poker, and I just feel good there.

And when I win, they give me a t-shirt, which features, inexplicably, a frog amidst a bunch of cash on the back.

And the cocktail service is the bomb, especially from the server who had blue hair at Hallowe'en, and when I asked her about it the next stay said, "Oh yeah. I guess that was me."

I'd already booked an offer at Main St. Station, so what was I going to do?

Get on the phone and start flim-flamming around, that's what.

I talked to recorded MSS/Cal attendants, MSS operators, Cal reservation agents hidden away in some secret Playboy grotto on The Cal's fabled 13th floor, recordings of the husky Steve Wynn, the front desk at The Cal, and finally...

...the holy of holies...

the Player's Club.

I talked to a host and told her what the issue was. She asked for my player's card and did clackety clack on the Boyd computers.

Well, in a flash, she told me that she could switch my 'home property' to The Cal, and book me in, comped.

"Now, you need to understand...," she said, and I braced myself for bad news.

"...you are booked in comped for all your room nights....BUT!..."

But???

I closed my eyes, squeezed them tight, tigher than the eye squeeze you used to do when your Mom washed your hair with 'Suave' shampoo.

I was ready for the ultimate disappointment.

"...I can only cover your food for all but the last night."

Did you hear me complain? No way, baby.

They may look like something a bunch of grade 9 high school students put together for a raffle, but the power of the California Hotel and Casino Meal Book is pretty much unstoppable, gastronomically speaking of course.

And one of those sweet, cheesy books would be mine for (almost) the duration of my stay.

The points I'd generate playing video poker will easily cover meals for the last day and then some.

"Aloha.... baby!" I said, trying to sound like Steve Wynn.

I was greeted with the sexy high-heel like sound of a phone hanging up, no doubt once held by a steamy, interested, Island host, whose name sounded pretty sexy. I think it was, like, "Conch" or something.

I am totally set for this trip.




Monday, July 29, 2013

How to Stay Free in Vegas - Part 2, Working the Phones

So as the late-mid-early-mid-August 20th Anniversary Cheapstravaganza trip approaches, the comps are coming together fairly nicely, including a surprise (probable) suite at MGM Grand. In fact, that will be my first ever stay there.

But the thing that really rankles me is that Mrs. F. outplayed me at Encore/Wynn to the point where she gets all these great offers for 2-3 nights plus freeplay, and I get the pleasure of reading them to her, and not much else.

So I decided to get on the blower and see what was what, because I have an Ace up my sleeve - I know Mrs. Flusher.


I called Wynn and was greeted with the on-hold sounds of the mating-ritual voice master Steve Wynn himself. He's recorded a bunch of marketing voice-overs that sound like, well, like he's trying to bed you.

And in a way he is, but it's in the creepy 'rubbing your wrist with the middle finger during a business handshake' way.

Put your voice down as low as you can and speak slowly, with lots of pauses, and you too can bag the hot chicks like Steve does. Try these phrases on for size:

"Poinsettia. We wanted... to create - the - most exclusive Christmas ornament shop.... in the world - and I believe we have. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all Christmas. Garland. Reindeer. Gnomes in red hats. Steve Wynn balls... for the tree of course. Flashing LED lights to put your kids in what I call the Wynn trance... Poinsettia. It's here - and, thank goodness, nowhere else - at Wynn, Las Vegas."


"The hottest nightclub in North America is here... at Wynn, Las Vegas. ButtoXS - it's... thumpy, it's... flashy, it has... line-ups that we create... At Wynn, Las Vegas, we've spared no expense to provide you with the highest bottle service markup ever seen. I get laid there... why not try your luck and drop it down to ButtoXS?!"


"Whether it's that fourth piece of... very green key lime pie - or you are just looking to binge and purge 9 kinds of meat - Wynn, Las Vegas has THE buffet. No judgements here... just - simply - the highest class feeding trough on the Las Vegas strip. Ask your concierge for directions and a gentle slap on the hide to get you mooving to - Pastures: The Buffet - only at Wynn, Las Vegas."

---

"Thank you for calling Wynn / Encore, this is Cornucopia in casino marketing, how can I assist you?"

"Hi Cornucopia," I said. "My wife gets these great offers from you guys all the time and all I get are crap 2-for-1 offers at The D. Can you help me?"

"May I have your name, your Wynn players card number, and more important, your high rolling wife's players card number?"

"Flusher. Royal Flusher." I gave her the other details which she clickety clacked into her Big Data terminal.

"Mr. Flusher, your cards are linked. That means your important-to-us wife's room offers also apply to you. But just the room offers, not the freeplay. You are not important enough to warrant free play, is that clear?"

"Clear enough for me! Screw the freeplay, I'll take the room!"

This shaped up beautifully, and I think I even get upgraded to a suite.

Three nights at EnWynn - gratis!!!

Next... what to do with the California!




Sunday, July 28, 2013

How to Stay Free in Vegas - The 20th Anniversary Cheapstravaganza Trip

People keep asking me why I keep going back to Vegas.

"Why do you keep going to Vegas, Flusher? Why not go somewhere else for a change?" they ask me.

In return I ask them why they keep going back to their cottage every weekend all summer long.

Or I just smile and think 'screw you!'.

Why do I keep going back? Because I have one billion trillion amounts of fun there, because I could win a bundle and get paid to go on vacation, because I love gambling, because of the food, because I'm comfy there (just like those mooks at their stupid cottage), and because its cheap.

Even with a $695 Air Fuck You Canada airfare from Flusherville Regional Aerodrome to Toronto to Vegas, my next trip is going to be incredibly cheap, if you don't count gambling.

Why do I say that? I say that because every stinking night in Vegas this trip is going to be comped up front.

How did I get those offers in my mailbox and email?

Simple. You build a relationship with the casino, get your play tracked, and they send offers if you hit certain levels of play.

Our average long-term loss gambling is around $75 a day, but we get lots of free rooms and lots of free meals.

That beats the hell out of the $90 a night I'm paying to stay on the prairie in Saskatchewan next week, I can tell you.

So let's look at some of the sweet offers that have come my way from the marginal to the primo.

El Cortez - casino rate


Ummm Casino rate? That's a rate you get when you've play in the casino in the past but not enough for them to comp you. El Cortez is still screwing me around - I've played similar amounts in lots of downtown places to get comped, but they still stiff me. Maybe its because I beat them up on dollars last time.

The miniature of Jim Beam is a nice touch though, to keep that downtown rubby-dub feeling alive.
The D - buy one get one. As if.We've played here on and off for years (including the Fitzgerald's years) and we still get theBe 'sort of' offers.

Buy one night get one free, $10 match play, $5 free play. Yawn. I can do better.

The Smug Golden Nugget - SFA

Mrs. Flusher has a two night offer here but I don't. Just a dickscounted room rate. Given that they have implemented an evil $5 Downtown FSE Fake Resort Destination Screw You Fee I won't be giving the Nugget my custom this time around.

They have a lot of fucking nerve to still claim they don't charge a resort fee. Because they do.

Main Street Station - 3 nights free, $40 in food

Now we are talking. That's a proper comp. With the points I'll earn on my card gambling, I'll be able to pay for the rest of the required food at a discount, using those points.

I also have the same offer in September, so it might be worth staying over.

Four Queens - 3 nights free, $30 freeplay, video poker tournament with two breakfasts and some shoddy Chinese made take-home merch

Now we're talking. Freebie room, some food, some gambling, some merch which may or may not be worth keeping, and the chance to win cash, cash, cash in the tournament - up to $4000. Oh hell yeah.

Dicksalibur - 2 nights free and $30 freeplay

Great, but it's Dickscalibur. MILFE offers are based pretty much on my VP play there a couple of trips ago, and my crazy chasing of the Lion's Share $2.3 million dollar slot progressive.

I can also stay at Luxor if I want.

T.I. - discounted room.

Huh? Did I win too much last time? 
MGM Grand - 2 nights free, with suite upgrade based on availability

Never mind any freeplay, this is a much better comp. A 'green handshake' at check-in should assure me of a suite. And if that doesn't work, I'll offer the clerk a tip.
Encore / Wynn- sigh

So we've fallen in love with the ridiculous extravagance, overpriced food, and terrible paytables at EnWynn. It's just so damn nice!!!

The Quad Queen's card and mine are linked - but she gets the great offers and I get bupkis. Example: She has an offer for 3 free nights with suite upgrade if available, and $200 freeplay.

I'm going to get on the blower and see if I can somehow use this offer, since we are linked in various ways.

Did I mention that this is a solo trip?

Yes it is... sadly, I'll have to have all my fun on my own this time.

Stay tuned for more details.

This just in:

For some reason HOOTERS has started sending me tournament offers which seem to include a well-endowed pair of free nights. It's nice to rack up offers like this.

More tips on how to get free room offers:
  • register at casino hotel websites 
  • always use your players card for slots, video poker, table games, keno, whatever 
  • play where you stay 
  • concentrate your play at certain properties - don't spread it willy nilly 
  • keep your daily average as high as possible at a property - play all day one day, instead of an hour a day for five days 
  • learn video poker strategy and play the best return games to get the highest coin-in 
  • play downtown




Saturday, July 27, 2013

The 20th Anniversary Las Vegas Cheapstravaganza Trip - brought to you by Roam Mobility!

Note: Flusher no longer recommends Roam Mobility.

July 2013 This sell-out post is was brought to you by our sponsors, Roam Mobility.



Hello loyal readers.

Hopefully some of you are Chivettes, which I recently found out about. I am wondering if there is a cult group of Flusherettes out there.

If there are, they are probably amongst the hotter of the I.S.G.s (Island Senior Girlfriends) that I regularly meet at the Cal.

Been a while, I know, but I'm happy to say I'm in pre-game for the next riveting, exciting, throbbing, pulsing, jumping, leaping, pondering, confusing, winning, eating, embarrassing, cheapskating trip to Las Vegas.

It's just 20 years now since the Quad Queen and I made our first foray to The Big Spin. Yup, 20 years and some 44 trips.

It was July 1993 and we spent a week in Luxor, back when it was a pyramid. And we never looked back, except to see what we might have stepped in.

So I'm poring over the offers and putting together an 'EPIC', MEGA-TRIP, CHEAPSTRAVAGANZA. Hoping to stay and eat mostly free, and devote the rest of my dough to big-time quarter gambling.

The trip will be blogged live, so you can follow the idiocy along from the comfort of your connected device.

In true Cheapstravaganza fashion, I've SOLD OUT.

Yes, Royal Flusher has a sponsor.

We Canadians pretty much get screwed on cellular rates when we go to the US, and as you have heard, it is rumored that Vegas is part of the US.

Even with Rogers special 'Do Me!' package last trip, we still spent a couple of hundred bucks keeping the cheap smartphone knock-offs that the Crafty Korean co-owners of Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer (where I spend my days slaving for The Man, making size 7 grommets) online.

And the whole time, I was panicking, wondering if I was somehow running up a $22,000 cell phone bill (like that Vancouver guy in Mexico did) spending 4-5 hours a day cyber-stalking gazing upon pictures of Chivettes.

Well, there's a great alternative from Vancouver's own Roam Mobility. (Note - Full dislosure - this is a 'refer a friend' link - if you click on it and buy time from Roam, I get a free day out of it, and you get a free day out of it. Now that is selling out and sticking it to The Man at the same time. Totes Royal Flusher Way!)

They have a sponsorship program for bloggers (know any?) and yours truly, The Flusher, somehow fell through the cracks and by some huge corporate mistake, qualified!

This means I get a whopping 20% discount on a SIM card for my niPhone, and the best part, a free connectivity package for the upcoming trip.

In return, I said I'd post and tweet about Roam. Seems like a fair exchange to me, and to be honest, I was going to try them out last time, except they didn't yet have nano-SIM cards available for the niPhone.

I'll be letting you know how it works out for me and you Canadians out there (yes, I know there are some) can give it a try if you like. And if its crap service, I'll say so. And if its great, I'll say so.

We'll see.

Even if I paid for a Roam plan, it tops out at $4 a day for phone, text and 100MB of data. Way more reasonable than anything I've seen, and much more convenient than standing outside the Golden Nugget, on one foot, on a milk crate, trying to poach the 'hidden' signal I know about, to try to post a couple of pictures on Facebook.

So, all the fairly pedestrian, boring highlights from my upcoming trip will be brought to you in part by Roam and at no cost to me. That seems like the perfect deal, and represents my first comp of the trip.

Come back in the coming days for all the action.

Because nothing gets between me and Las Vegas. Nothing.

Except a trip to Saskatchewan that I have to knock off first. Huh???




Thursday, July 25, 2013

20th Anniversary Cheapstravaganza Vegas Pre-trip

Been a while, I know, but I'm happy to say I'm in pre-game for the next riveting, exciting, throbbing, pulsing, jumping, leaping, pondering, confusing, winning, eating, embarrassing, cheapskating trip to Las Vegas.

It's just 20 years now since the Quad Queen and I made our first foray to The Big Spin. Yup, 20 years and some 44 trips. You'll find the pre-planning pre-trip posts here. Read 'em up (and you might learn something from my Royal Flusher Ways...)