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Thursday, January 2, 2014

The Fabled Quad Drought of 2014





We packed up all our crap and I hurried the previous days blog posts out using the free downtown wifi. It was a pain in the ass this time. Didn't work well at all.

Of course I ended up in a rush because we were trying to get out of our room.

And of course, I couldn't find my fucking driving glasses.

I ended up tossing the room like a salad, which in some counties, is considered to be a pretty good Saturday night, but I digress.

After going through everything, including picking through all the garbage, how dare Mrs. Flusher find my glasses in my stupid suitcase?

I swear she does these things just to make me look bad.

We hopped into our Kia SUV (which sadly did not feature a pink porno interior) and headed down the strip. And promptly sat in traffic for half an hour.

I got a really great El Primo Spotto and parked the lively little Kia junker. Checked in to Encore, retrieved the bags and junk and we headed up to our King Suite. I'd asked if there were any two bed models because the Quad Queen was so sick I would probably not be sleeping if we shared the king. Unfortunately all the two bed versions were booked, so I took what I took.

Our run at Steve Wynn's billions started with my $200 free credit. And off we went into the red casino's maw, playing video poker, coughing, horking, sneezing, blowing, drinking, and mostly losing.
Mrs. F got on the board first with an early quad.

I played $20 in a Super Triple Double Quadruple Fucker Bonus dollar game and was dealt three Aces. Four Aces with kicker is the needed $4K, but of course, I got a 3 and an 8.

It's all because I pissed off the Four Queens boothling and didn't get a lucky Sphincter horse.

In fact, four times I had three Aces on premium quad games and couldn't bring it home.
 For two entire hours neither of us got a quad. What is going ON????? I even had our lucky disks in play.
 
At least the cocktail service is fantastic here.
"Would Flushiepants like another Maker's?"
"Yes Nurse!"
Oooh, Flusher made a quad! It's a Christmas fucking miracle.
I can't remember a more frustrating time at video poker. The only bright spot was when I parlayed up from 50 cents to dollars, got a quad, then parlayed up to $2 and played for a while. And then blew it back down to $100 before reluctantly cashing.

 Our consolation was room service dinner. Delish!
While I finished the last breadstick, I noticed the QQ sprawled on the bed, sleeping soundly for the first time in eons.

I didn't want to disturb her so I ordered up the Rollaway Bed of Shame and slept in the living room.

QQ down $600 on the day. Down $2850 trip. Holy shit.
RF down $140 on the day. (NOT BAD!) Down $1600 on the trip. Holy shit.

Have you noticed that we haven't had a single winning day, either of us, yet? I have.

One thing we do note is that when we played exclusively quarters, it would not be unusual to be down $1000 after 4 or 5 days. Playing dollars, $4K is similar.

Actually, I saved the breadsticks so we'd have something to eat tomorrow... send gas money!





3 comments:

  1. See, I told you… A gift horse should be looked anywhere but in the mouth!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dinner looks great. walk around and see whats hitting

    ReplyDelete
  3. You better get back down-town an play hankie-pankie with the little old Hawaiian ladies. It is very unlucky to neglect those mean little ladies... remember "Piss of an Old Hawaiian Lady and you will have the luck of Paul O'Grady!"

    ReplyDelete

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