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Thursday, April 24, 2014

Why are you here?





Day 3 - part 1

There’s nothing like waking up in Vegas after that night flight after that long day of work after that panic fixing of the sump hose. You can’t match the feeling of having been beaten from head to toe with a sand-filled length of rubber tubing, of being denied food, water and sleep.

That’s how I always feel and yet - I’m in Vegas, baby!


Swollen Nuggets pool area.
One of the highlights of the night was the Quad Queen sitting bolt upright at about 4:30am and shouting out loud, “WHY ARE YOU HERE???!!!”

“I’m here to gamble, and primarily, right now, to sleep! Lie down and shut up!”

So there we were, morning in the suite, which was quite nice. We’d had the exact same suite but on the other end of the building. It had the identical layout and furniture, but it was a mirror image. This would cause my head to spin over and over in the coming days. Another side effect was how, about 50% of the time, I’d exit the elevator in the lobby and promptly take a hard right turn into a solid wall.

Flush Tower Suite
The savvy traveller comes prepared and in my case, this meant circumventing the Smug Nugget’s $10 charge for 4 k-cups, and bringing my own knock-off Malaysian j-cups to feed the coffee maker they provide in the suite. By pushing and twisting, I could fit those j-cups in and get a pretty much free cup of joe. Take THAT, Nuggets!
Nuggets j-cup maker.
I’d been up till about 5:00am Eastern time and had about four and a half hours of sleep. It didn’t matter, it was go time, and we hit the casino for a while.

One of the plans I had for the day was to meet up with one of the few relatives left that haven’t completely disowned me for once becoming a degenerate (but now savvy, dammit) gambler - my cousin Ivy, who, as a child, wanted to be renamed after Winnipeg Blue Bombers great Fritz Hanson, the Galloping Ghost. Her blood seems to run blue and gold, so if anyone could pull off being called Fritz, it would be Ivy.

We sidled up to a bar and I gave my old buddy Boner Deluxe a try. Horrific paytable, but that’s what you have to put up with in order to be in the lap of Nugget Luxury.

And wouldn’t you know it, I did manage to pull off a nice little win of $100.
First Boner Deluxe Quad!
I parlayed that on to dollar Bonus Poker and nailed another.


With some dough in my pocket (and Mrs. Flusher down some) we headed off for breakfast at Du Par’s.

Ivy had a table in the back room and it was a very happy re-union indeed.
Ivy said, “Why do you keep calling yourself Royal Flusher?”

“That’s my name.”
Ivy, the Galloping Ghost
“That’s not what Mom says. And she says that time you fell off a horse at the farm you cried like a baby. How savvy was that???”

“Degenerate gamblers do not cry over horses Ivy. Your Mom is lying.”

"Did you know I want to be renamed the Galloping Ghost?"

It reminded me of Mrs. F leaping up in the middle of the night.

Ivy had taken herself on a solo trip and - with just a little coaching from solo Vegas expert yours truly - of course the trip had been a huge success. She told us stories of her adventures going around downtown, and up and down the strip, to shows and exhibits, hitting huge bonuses on the penny slots, eating wonderful meals, and rocking out to the Fremont bands. She did an amazing amount of stuff in the 15 hours she was in Vegas!

Breakfast was pretty good. I made good on some promises to various readers who have been aghast that I haven’t had Du Par’s crack cakes in some time (Laur that includes you). Mrs. F had steak and eggs which looked pretty good and Ivy had your standard Du Pars huge-ass breakfast.

Crack cakes, in the form of a Pancake Sandwich. I added hash browns.
Du Par's Steak and Eggs for the Quad Queen. Those browns look burned.
Sadly, it was time to say goodbye to Ivy, as she was headed back out to Manitoba later in the day. And I, sadly, had some Norbert work to do, to prepare for GrommetCon 2014.

I went back up to the room just in time to take delivery of a huge card-board box. I opened the box and there was a note from Jimmy Poon.

“Royal. You are on brochures. Fold these. Hee hee hee...

Jimmy Poon”

A label on the side said “Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer Brochures - 10,000 count”. The box was filled with sheets which clearly, were to be folded in the standard brochure tri-fold technique. Thankfully, due to my poker experiences, I was well versed in folding.

First day in Vegas and there I was, slaving for The Man. I put in a pretty good effort, I must say, and folded at least 75 of the sheets, many of them in a way that wasn’t particularly unpleasant.

When I could stand it no more, I hit the casino again to get more of that fine video poker action.

We settled - where else - at the bar. On the backside of the bar near the cage and the poker room, in a cozy little spot near the cocktail waitresses dock.

And that’s where I started to parlay. $100 in. I started on quarters.
“Strict rules of Parlay?” asked the Quad Queen.

“Strict rules!” I replied.

We’d barely gotten our drinks when I’d doubled up to $40. I switched up to 50 cents and started hitting Fulls House like a man possessed with hitting Fulls House. I worked the machine up to $100 and was thinking about parlaying again when I hit Queens for $62.50.

This was working like a charm.

Fair enough, I parlayed up to dollars. And I kept winning. I got up high enough to switch up to $2. That’s ten bucks a hand. I had to be careful not to blow it all back, but if I could hit something - it could be good.

I was dealt my nemesis hand from last trip - four to a straight flush. This was a Reach-around draw - I could complete with either the Ace or the six of diamonds. And I drew that sweet bloody little Ace!

Fuckin’ A.

I cashed that ticket out and started again, but not much happened this time.

Not to be outdone, the Quad Queen got a quad and then a straight flush of her own. We were on fire!



We had a few drinks, and we moved on, hopefully to bigger and even better things.

“Let’s try some dollar Bonus, I feel like going for it.”



1 comment:

  1. Aaarghh! The tension is killing me! I know you are setting up a big win story here Flush.

    ReplyDelete

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