Ultra Jameson's Do It Do It!

Day 4 Tuesday October 28, 2014

Deadly Day 4, our last day at the Cal (for this stint) started out, as usual, at the Cal. Favorite server Judy was on holidays, so getting a proper latte at Lappert's without insulting her was now an option, and I did just that.

I was frightened to enter Lappert's. It was as if a big, doughy hand was raised in front of my saying "DO NOT ENTER LAPPERT'S!"

I tried not to look at the big doughy hand but it had mesmerized me. It was all I could do to get out of there with my coffee and my life, given the unholy curse of the big doughy hand.

The Big Doughy Hand forbids entry to Lappert's.

A little play at the Cal, and then a lot of play at Main Street Station ensued.

I tried a couple of different machines and a couple of different games. The Quad Queen was Qruising along, doing fairly well and getting scratchcards.

Giving Double Double spinners a shot, I played for an hour and a quarter on triple play (about 2000 hands, I reckon) without getting a quad. Even though it was short pay I managed to keep going.

"Do you think it is because I drank the forbidden coffee of the doughy hand?" I asked the Quad Queen.

"Shut up and deal."

I finally got a good spinner hand on Bonus Poker, 5x a quad.

Got a couple other quads too.

The floor person game me a scratchcard and I noticed, once again, the button they all wear which says, "Aloha spoken here!"

I said, "I wish someone would speak Aloha to me."

She stopped writing, looked at me, and shrieked in a mock angry tone, "ALOHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I shrieked back, "ALOHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Holy crap it was funny.

I was down about $250 and the Queen about $100, Time to eat. The Market Street Cafe at the Cal makes a pretty good omelette (courtesy of the coupon book). That's what I had for breakfast. The veggie omelette in particular, is delish it turns out.

I like to exercise my 10 year old wit (that is, the wit of a ten-year-old) when I gaze upon the whiteboard listing the specials at the coffee shop whilst waiting to settle the bill.

The game is, with one swipe of the finger, what rude, obnoxious, or otherwise immature and stupid words can you end up with?

For example, one swipe could leave you with '1/2 bs New York Steak' or 'Banana titters'.

Not that The Flusher would ever resort to such childish behavior. Just don't ask for the 'Brown ice upon request'.

Mahalo.

So what do you do in Vegas after a healthy breakfast? Drink and gamble, what else.

The Quad Queen wanted more scratchcards so back to Main Street Station we went.

The cocktail waitress to whom we affectionately refer as 'Hot Towels' came by to take our drink order.

I've mentioned in previous reports how my degenerate wife has completely perverted the language of this sweet young woman with her commands of "DO IT - DO IT".

So the drink ordering exchange went like this:

Me: "I'll have an Ultra beer please."

Quad Queen: "Jameson's and diet please."

Cocktail Waitress: "Ultra, Jameson's and diet."

Quad Queen: "DO IT."

Cocktail Waitress: "DO IT! DO IT!"

Me: Facepalm.

Later when the drinks arrived, our server handed us our drinks.

"Ultra, do it."

"Jameson's, do it."

Double facepalm.

The worst part of all this is that I have to tip double to make up for this. It's probably the one and only area in the trip where the Quad Queen embarrasses me, rather than the other way around.

We picked up where we'd left off - literally. Same machines, our last hands and cashout notifications still on the screens.

I got on a super-run getting a bunch of quads and working the machine up to around 2000 credits. Then I went into quad drought again and it dwindled down and dwindled down and then I was in too deep to bother cashing out and kept going and it dwindled down and then I had nothing at all.

Fuck.

We sure did get a shitload of scratch cards!

We headed back to the Cal to play some Jacks in the alcove. At the end of that session, the tally was not good. I was down $400 and Mrs. F had blown through a lot of her stake of $950 - she had $300 left.

What to do? Get $100 worth of Keno tickets, a $4 bottle of wine, some Jameson's, and head up to the room for Keno and wine and liquor and showers and snack and naps.

After a long break (including more Keno losing) we went at the slant tops at the Cal, got some quads. I think I made $100 at it.

More multi-play at MSS and more scratch cards, many of them not worth $5000. All of them, actually, not worth $5000.

Okay, here's why you tip the floor staff on a Royal.

I finished my session and went to the Men's. We'd meet by the cage. Mrs. Flusher had hit a straight flush and was waiting for a scratch card.

I did the berlin wall painting and was waiting for her outside the washroom entrances, just kind of looking around at different machines. One of the staff (Albert, I think) came up to me and pointed at the Quad Queen who was just returning from the Ladies'.

"Is that your wife there?" he asked.

"Yes, she is."

"Here. She didn't cash out her machine."

He handed me a ticket for $76.25. Astoundingly good service. I made sure to tell his boss.

We'd planned dinner for 777 Brew Pub at MSS, but the racket in there was so loud, we just walked away, and instead, got a comp from the host for the buffet, based on our day's play.

I wish I could say all the hosts at MSS are friendly, but this one in particular has left me feeling unwelcome, unwanted, and unappreciated on more occasions than I can remember, and more often than not. I don't know what it is with her, but the whole exchange was cold and impersonal. Not a 'hi, nice to see you again', or a 'what can I help you with today', or a 'certainly, I'd be glad to set that up'. No, I didn't even know that I was going to get the comp for sure until she handed it over without a word.

It's the one weak spot in the personnel at MSS, other than that, they've all been just wonderfully friendly. It's too bad, and I just don't get it. Onward.

After dinner, we wrapped up our play and I blew through the rest of what I was willing to lose that day. The Quad Queen finally got her dealt quad on 5-play. The dealt quad on 10-play would have to wait.

Royal Flusher: Day -$700 Trip +$2450
Quad Queen: Day -$650 Trip -$605
Combined: Trip +$1845

"Why didn't I listen to the big doughy hand?!"