Friday, June 12, 2015

Getting the Hang of The Dinq








Day 7 - Sunday - part 2

I forgot to mention that I'd actually had breakfast with Blonde4Ever and Kodidog - for some reason, I have little memory of this occasion.

This means the toast thing had to have happened the day before, because it happened when I sat in the Royal Flusher Room in the east wing of Magnolia's, and Blonde4Ever and Kodidog and I had breakfast in a booth on the other side. I think. Blonde says I harassed a waitress (very likely true) and that she sampled my Lucky Spanish Sauce. That's something you wouldn't simply make up, so clearly, it all happened that way. And I have a text to prove it too, letting me know that they were headed to Magnolia's while I was at the Downtown Grand.

I really wish I could remember what happened with the waitress, it probably would have made good reading.

Regardless... I got all packed up and we synced up by text - they had just left their room at The D and I took that as my signal slather with 2800 lead sun screen, zip everything up (including my luggage), and to haul my stuff down to the VW Asshat and circle around to pick them up.

My bill at the Four Queens was.... zero. As it should have been. At least that part worked.

I sat in the Asshat at the back entrance to The D and waited 3 or 4 minutes. I'd just been given the stink-eye by one of the valet guys and started edging the Asshat along as if I was going somewhere. But I really wasn't.

Just then, I spied the ladies in my rearview. I hopped out, loaded their (formidable amount of) luggage into the Asshat's ass, and we were on our way.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Harrah's, please!"

"No. You pretty much have to go anywhere I want, at this point. And I don't feel like going to Harrah's right now."

So, I knew that they had kind of wanted to see the Springs Preserve, and that neighborhood around Alta is so cool, I knew they'd enjoy it, and they probably wouldn't get another chance to see it, so I headed that way. We did a drive through, and a drive by, and a drive in and drive out again. And then I headed back to Las Vegas Blvd., did the big swerve at the Stratosphere, and dead reckoned my way to Koval and the ass end of Harrahs. It all worked out great.

We said our goodbyes and I was gifted with a delicious caramel covered brownie. It was huge, and in its own little paper bag 'carrying case'. So thoughtful!!! I vowed not to forget in the surface-of-the-sun-like temperatures the parked Asshat would experience, once Luxor-time rolled around.

I exited the Harrah's drive through thingy and headed into the first parking structure I came to, which was The Dinq, formerly known as the Twad and formerly known before that as the Inferior Palace. The old Iperooski was built on an 'as-needed' basis, without any overriding thought or design. It was and is a maze, the maziest of which is the parking structure. Getting in and out of there is so challenging, that when you find the exit, an attendant gives you a big piece of cheese.

I guess you could say that the Dinq is a Clusterfuq.

I parked way against the back of the structure, right near the High Roller Save Ferris Wheel.


Then I walked toward the casino. Or so I thought. And, there were even a few signs here and there indicating the way, but I got hopelessly lost! I found myself walking through what seemed to be a driveway, a very unsafe driveway with cars and pillars and cement and walls and no sidewalks. I even backtracked and checked the last sign I'd seen and it for sure pointed this way, didn't it???

Then I saw a big, big staircase, so I climbed that. Now I was on the right track, right? The staircase led to a big walkway. You know that sense of foreboding you get when you know you are someplace you shouldn't be, and then you sort of slow down and look around but you keep going anyway....

Yeah, that. I crossed the walkway, seeing that it led to more stairs and the stairs looked like they just jutted out of the building.

Wrong way up the fucking fire escape. Goddammit, Ralph!

Fuck it, I went back across the walkway, down the interminal set of stairs, back onto the driveway and I just forged ahead, past what must have been virtually all of the casino, and found myself walking into the porte chochon. I was lucky nobody flagged me down for a piggyback somewhere. But finally, I was in, and ready to explore, for the first time, the remodeled The Dinq casino.
That check-in line ran as far as the eye could see, astounding the tourists in the foreground.

They actually did a pretty good job of it. One thing to note was the check in/out line snaked the whole length of the place. I tried to identify some of the features of the old IP, some of the places we used to play. I had no idea I would feel so melancholy and miss it so much, even though I never really liked the IP. But it had that cheesy charm that I love in places, and I didn't appreciate it at the time.

I think the difference is this. When you are really on a tight budget, cheesy-kitschy just means 'cheap? I don't care - I can't afford anywhere else'. And when you have more dough at your disposal, cheesy-kitschy means 'how quaint - glad thank God I can afford to stay elsewhere'. Yeah, I remember staying at the IP for $20 a night. Drinks in plastic glasses. The crazy elevator situation. Once we even got a room behind one of the huge outside letters in 'INFERIOR PALACE'. It blocked the view.

Speaking of elevators, I took a look and sure enough, the Secret Savvy Elevators are still there, and are still the only way to fly, so to speak. Much faster to use them than the main ones. Glad to see the secret is still secret to most, in case I ever find myself staying here.
Nobody waiting for the Secret Savvy Elevators.
I wandered around and played a $20 bill on something horrendous, put a few points on, and had a refresher.
I think there used to be coin droppers here. I played 4 hours on $20 on a Sigma Jacks here once.


I'd seen some draw thing or other that you needed to get 10 points for, so I went and did that. Like a free spin free pull thing that could make you a millionaire.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WON ANY ANY ANY!!!
I wasn't made a millionaire. No, I was made a 2-for-1 spin on the High Roller on my solo trip. Useless. I couldn't even give the thing away, because it was coded to my name and account.

Never mind, I didn't plan to stick around anyway. I had plans that included Casino Royale, just down the street, and after that, Wynn.

2 comments:

  1. I used to love this place. The balconies were the huge selling point for me. I hate the Strip so for longer stays, I would start there and then end up downtown. So I would start my trips here and after arriving from being up for 24 hours and opening the balcony doors and seeing Vegas outside my window, that was a huge rush. Now, they can (and do) suck it.

    The last few trips I have taken have been too short for me to visit here again. I used to love playing Cleopatra Keno and Ultimate X. This was the only Strip place to have both in nickels. Although CET is an asshole and requires $50 on Keno for one point. I honestly thought the point thingy was broken when I realized this the first time, but nope. ASSHOLES.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Never mind. You're the man!

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