The Slick Slipper Strip Trick

Wednesday November 4, 2015 - Day 14

Wednesday. Moving day. Raining in Vegas. There was no doubt about it, T.I. had engaged in the kicking of the ass. Asses.

We wondered what we could get for our play... the day before we talked to a host on the floor who just didn't seem to connect with us. For one thing, I don't think he'd checked our play. We told him we were on track to do $60K coin in. He kept looking away, anywhere but at me. He asked us what we play and we told him - mostly VP, some blackjack, some slots... 

"Those are the exact games to play where its unlikely you can get anything," he'd said.

"What about if we had the kicking of the ass - Asses?"

"We might look at some losses up to 10% back in comps. But really, you're not going to get much."

I was kind of worried about things.

I looked out at the rainy desert. Things were not right out there, and they weren't right in our little envelope in the safe, either. I got ahold of Jimmy Poon on the piPhone.

"Jimmy Poon, is that you? It's Royal."

"Hello Royal, how's the trip going? Looks like you totally dropped the ball on live blogging..."

"Thanks for noticing. Jimmy Poon. It's not good. We lost $3500 in the last three days here at T.I. I feel sick. Now we have to play double. And I had a chance for a big dealt win and the machine wouldn't deal it to me, and wouldn't give me a royal. I had a shot at 24K!!! Money used to be flowing to me, practically jumping into my wallet! Now it hates me!"

Jimmy Poon giggled.

"Royal... Royal... don't you know about money by now?"

"I know I lost $3500 and if it keeps up we could have a losing trip! Without money here, I'm a nobody. Nothing!!! And that's the thing about Vegas. It doesn't matter who you are or what you are, or what you look like, or if you have broccoli teeth, or whether you've showered or not in the last four days - how you get treated here depends solely on how much money you have, and how much of it you are willing to give the casino a shot at!!!"

Jimmy Poon sighed.

"Royal, listen to me... I will share an ancient Poon family wisdom about money."

"And what's that?"

There was a long silence. I watched a single car emerge onto the very top level of the parkade below and circle around slowly before picking one of the 900 available spots and wondered 'why that one?'...

And I waited.

I heard breathing.

"Jimmy Poon... what?"

"In the eyes of money," Jimmy Poon whispered, "...we are all the same."

I stopped dead. He was right. Money doesn't care about you. In Vegas, you are just money. But in the eyes of money... we are all the same.

"Jimmy Poon, that's fucked. How does that get my $3500 back? It's silly, it sounds like a James Bond movie title."

"In the eyes of money...." said Jimmy Poon, "...think about it."

We agreed that we would not play any more at T.I. They'd won and that was that. We had DOUBLE play to do for the next 3 days - more on that to come. Being savvy losers gamblers, we wanted to keep our daily average at T.I. intact and, let's face it, to give them another dime was sheer folly - especially in those deadly KFCMODs (Killer 50 Cent Machines of Death).

On my way for my morning Starbucks ritual ("St!mul8"), I played a $20 bill in the KFCMOD machines. Just to check. And promptly lost it.

OK, that confirmed my suspicions that I could never, ever win on those machines. I felt better, and worse.

There was still a chance - we'd each bought a 50 game keno ticket, stupidly, at 9:30pm, knowing that the game shuts down at 10 (which is a travesty against keno).

We figured out a plan - it was early, and we could high-tail it downtown (back to the Cal!) with some of our stuff. We'd play there, at the Cal... where the playin' is easy, royals are clumpin', and the rubbies are high.

Maybe we could get our room early, we could dump the stuff we'd brought, we'd eat, and then I'd haul ass in the Grampa de Ville back to the T.I. doc, check the winning keno tickets, which should have finished by then, go and see a host to see what magic I could do.

I'd thought it over, and I wasn't buying what the first host said. I think he thought we were bullshitting about our play. And it just didn't seem like he knew what he was doing. So, I'd try again.

And really, I was prepared to be pretty pissed off if we got stiffed after the play we'd done, and the losses.

Things worked out at the Cal - our room was assigned, but not cleaned. I slipped the bell guy a $10 bill and he was to take the stuff we'd brought up to the room. We'd get our keys in a couple of hours. Easy peasy. I valeted the Grampa de Ville and we were ready to rock. Starting at quarters.

Strict Rules of Parlay.

Rearrange The California and you spell EXCITEMENT!!!!

The Quad Queen got rolling right away - she hit on quarters, played 50 cents, worked up to dollars and hit there, and then parlayed up to $2 for a while, racking up the points, poised for a big score, which never came. She had to back down to dollars again.

Nice parlay - from $20 to a $300 ticket cashed out. It's nice when it actually works.

Meanwhile, I wasn't hitting on my session. I drilled some test holes into which I could dump my money, and since nothing was working, ramped up the volatility. And the denom. Yeah, that's gonna help.

Well, it did - I hit on 50 cents, and stuck with it, since Aces kicker is $1000, no tax.

 Got the second quad and ok, screw it, ramped up to dollars and hit a sweet straight flush.

And I cashed out a $400 ticket, just to show Mrs. F. how its done.

We grabbed breakfast at the coffee shop (does anyone ever shop for coffee there??) - 'steak' and eggs for the lady, and omelette du fromage for moi. Delish!

And comped, on our gold card.

It was time for me to head back to T.I. while the Quad Queen finished our play at the Cal.

We made a change in our setup during the first stop at the Cal at the start of the trip. For one reason or another, I thought it might be to our advantage to have the Quad Queen's home property changed to Main Street, and keep mine at the Cal. We'd play on her card at Main Street, and mine at the Cal. That way, each of our home properties would see a lot more play. I'm hoping it improves our offers, because offers are based on the play you do at the home property.

It didn't make sense for her to be homed at the Cal, when she plays 25% or 30% at the Cal and the rest at MSS.

We can still stay at the Cal no problem, so I don't see a downside to trying this. We shall report back in future to see what happens to the offers.

Now, the big question was, how much did we win on 100 games of keno, and how much of our roughly $550 hotel bill at T.I. might they pick up.

I drove down the slick, slippery strip to see.

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