Sunday, December 11, 2016

The Triumphant Return of Dr. Raoul Shibumi





Day 11 - Tue Nov 1 - part 1

Why is it I can drop $600 gambling in a casino the night before, and then think it is so great that I can get two cappuccinos comped minus $2 tip - for doing more gambling in the same casino that kicked my ass?

But it's a barrrr-gainnnnn. They're comped!!! 

The Quad Queen sent me on a quest to bring her back... something from... downstairs. So of course I had to get my coffee (exactly as pictured) and I played some.

Well I practically had to. When I was done, I was $100 out of pocket, and had played four different machines. And had two coffees.

And then I forgot what the quest item was.



I sat for a while, tasting the last bitter dregs of my $51 a piece coffees. I love coffee. I love tea. I'm in hot water...

That's it!!!

She wanted hot water for tea. Quest completed.

We packed up for the long trek... across the street to T.I., where I had a nice comp room offer and $200 freeplay. Much, much needed freeplay.

When changing hotels, its critical to spend some time going over the logistics and scenarios of 'will the room be ready', with all possible outcomes and contingencies discussed to slice and dice death.


It was about 11:00am.

I went over our options.

"It's too early for normal check-in. But we have early check-in. But last time they didn't know what early check-in was. Should we valet? If we valet, and the room isn't ready, we'll have to check the bags. But if it is, we're okay. Should we self-park? What if we can't get a good spot? If we self park, do we take the luggage in, and hope the room is ready? If it isn't we'll have to check our bags. But if we leave the bags, and the room is ready, we'll just have to go get them. But if we take the bags, we save a trip to the car park. But if we leave the bags and the room isn't ready... we might get robbed."

"Robbed?"

"By robbers. Room not ready robbers."

So, we did the shuffle. Out of the room, down the elevator, drag the bags to the south valet, get the car, load 'em up, and drive over to the next part of our adventure.

As a gambling man, I figured all the angles and came up with a savvy 'will the room be ready' strategy.

We self parked. Got a good spot too.

"Well?..." asked the Quad Queen.

"Leave 'em. Leave the bags here."

"Room not ready robbers?..."

"See any?"

We walked to the lobby and I went up to the desk. Same clerk as two days ago with my cousin.

"Mr. Flusher! Did you and Piffles have a nice stay?" He glanced at the Quad Queen. "Keeping your options open, I see."

"Some gates swing both ways, Chester," I said.

The room was ready. I was so angry. We had a room! And we hadn't brought the luggage. And now we'd have to go allllllllll the way back to the garage, and allllllllllll the way back to the hotel - with our luggage this time, notwithstanding robbers.

Not very damn savvy this time, Flushiepants.




While hauling our shit up to the room, I got a text. Wow.

My Manitoba cousin (another cousin), the esteemed breeder of Emperor Penguins, and purveyor of bulk Penguin products, such as the new Penguin Oil Miracle Skin Creme (which is vaguely guaranteed to make your skin as young and tight as a choir boy drum), was making an emergency visit to Las Vegas.

The emergency was the need to gamble, drink, and blow vape smoke in as many Golden Nugget blackjack dealer's mugs as possible.

Dr. Raoul is pretty handy with a bargain, and even though he was staying downtown, he jumped on a bus just to get a free breakfast at the Excalibur buffet.

Now that is some admirable cheapskate dedication that I can get behind.

While waiting for him, and doing what we would have done anyway, guess what? We played video poker.

QUAD QUEEN

QUAD QUEEN

QUAD QUEEN

Me. FML.
Dr. Raoul arrived at T.I. not long after we checked in, having walked the distance in an incredible fit of athletic stupidity. I shouldn't diss him for this, because he came bearing gifts - pilfered tubes of emergency Philadelphia Cream Cheese that made the ride from Dickscalibur crammed deeply in a front pocket, frighteningly close to his own package of cheese.

Happy for cheese? HELL YES.
But I am not one to look a gift cheese in the mouth, so I happily accepted the proffered rations, after taking a suitable portrait of Dr. Raoul.

We hit a few slots together while the Quad Queen made monetary whoopee with that sultry slut, Ultimate X Nickels, (something for which I haven't made up a derogatory 5th grade name for yet).

Then, at my insistence, we hit the blackjack tables, a friendly little $10 six shoe game, with Double after Bubble, Swooning allowed, and Resizing 9s under the Scarsdale Diet Moon.

OK, so I'm not up on my blackjack condition lingo.
Jimmy Poon not only makes a great Poontini*, he does a mean mani-pedi.
Naturally, Dr. Raoul lost his $100 buy-in, since it had been my idea to play. I reminded him that he should be joyous, since I had profited by $100.

The Good Dr. enjoys his penny slots, so I took the opportunity to learn from a master. We played a few things, including 'that fishing game'. I had no clue what I was doing, but it was fun.



We met up with the Quad Queen and made our plans for the rest of the day. We had a few interesting things to take care of... involving free smartwatches.

*It should be noted that this post contains the first ever occurrence of the word "Poontini", something that tickles me no end.




3 comments:

  1. Wait a second, the handy dandy Urbane Dicktionary refers to a Pootini
    A word to express one’s disappointment in a martini drink or refusal of a bar to mix one. Often utilized by drunken single moms wanting to experiment with a Martini. Especially popular in the City of Calgary, Canada.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Slut-imate X of course! (You practically wrote it. Did I pass the 5th grade derogatory name quiz?) --- Shannon

    ReplyDelete
  3. A november coment on a December post...... something is wrong... I think I have seen that cheese picture before.....

    ReplyDelete

Leave a message for Royal Flusher!