Wednesday, June 14, 2017

I Dike Your Stqle!





Day 4 - Fri May 19, 2017 - continued

So there I was, tummy-tum-tar full of lucky Kung Fu for $7.85, a little bit of tread left on the Asshat tires, a coupon book in my pocket, and a song in my heart.

Next stop, the Gold Coast. Not the real Gold Coast with the beaches and the sun and the Aussies, the one with the knife-thick smoke, front yard gnome set giveaways, and a million and one video poker uprights.

It was an easy right turn out of the plaza, and (almost) a straight shot to the G.C. I parked and got sorted at the booth with coupons, cards, pins and such.

Well the lucky Kung Fu was more like Kung Fail. Lost $20 on blackjack and both my match plays.

Dejected, I played what has to be the most beat up original Beeffalooo!! game in Las Vegas. It clearly was having some mechanical difficulties - it had forgotten how to spell.
I dike yours too, Beedfawwoooo!
 Not only that, it was so old and tired that it wouldn't bother to put some symbols up on the fake-o reels on the screen - and one of those symbols was the Beeffallooo symbol. Well, shit, see for yourself!

Where's Jimmy Poon when you need him?

I decided to use my $15 free play to play me some Deuces McWild and before very long I was dealt the Big Question hand - a dealt wild royal that is also four to a real royal. Dealt wild royal, 125 credits. Real royal, 4000 credits.
If you ever get a hand like this, you can do some easy math to figure out if it's worth keeping.

Consider these three things in such a situation.

First, there is 1 card out of 47 that can give you a Royal. So, one time out of 47 attempts, you'll get the Royal, on average, for a payout of 4000 credits. Averaged out over 47 attempts, that's 4000/47, or 85 credits per attempt.  Yes there are other hands you can get besides the Royal. There's three other deuces for example. But lets keep it simple.

Second, if you keep the dealt Royal, 47 out of 47 times you'll get 125 credits, so 125 credits per attempt on average.

Third, do you feel lucky, and just how fucking lucky do you feel?

In actual fact, I texted the Quad Queen to double check and keeping the dealt wild royal was (long term) the right move.

I kept it.

Idiot.

I also enjoyed these particular video displays of playing card replicas.


Yep, I was killin' it on the Deuces McWild and I walked out of that there Gold Coast a winner, up $45.
Why can't they spell this gud all the time?
Next stop, Orleans! Not the southern bayou city in steamy Louisiana, the one with the knife-thick smoke, front yard gnome set giveaways, and a million and one video poker uprights. Honestly, I have trouble telling these places apart. They're situated in similar locations, not far from each other, and they are big and wide and sprawling and filled with so many machines!

Slot club, boothling, ID, coupons, check.

I did a bit better on match plays here, as you can see from this stunningly detailed photograph:
Won my match play and ended up plus $60 in about three minutes. Great start!

I played my free play on Deuces McWild again, but it just drained. Dropped $20 on Stupid Keno too. And I got outta there! I had a date with a shower, some in-room bourbon, and a hockey game on TV while I did some live blogging for y'all.

And that's just what I did. Next stop, blackjack with Captain Uptown!




1 comment:

  1. I like the Orleans better so naturally I get all the best offers from Gold Coast.

    So I stay there. I used to call the Gold Coast the Palms tower North. I could stay there for 2 nights comped and get add on night at $19. Or I could go stay at the Palms for $399 a night.

    Yet, I played at the Palms most of the time...an easy jaunt across the street. Closer then most things in Caesars really. This is back in the Maloof ownership days when the Palms had both the geezer locals great VP vibe/crowd going along with the night Party vibe for the young-uns. I was aged almost right between them so could kind of deal with both.

    So that's what the Gold Coast was for. Drop a little play at the end of the night after hitting the VP at the Palms hard for the really good value rooms at the Gold Coast.

    But yea, the Orleans is nicer, just a tougher walk to the Palms.

    ReplyDelete

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