Thursday, September 28, 2017

Jimmy Poon Revolutionizes Canadian Low-cost Air Travel





This is extremely exciting! Canada is getting a new low-cost airline, which will start flying in 2018.

Spearheaded by Jimmy Poon, the technical wizard behind Royal Flusher's Vegas blog, the model is similar to other low-cost carriers such as Ryanair, which has completely fucked itself by totally hosing it's planning and having to cancel about 9 million flights. But that's not pertinent (yet).

Bye bye Air Canada. Bye bye Westjet. Bye bye Rouge.

Soon we will be able to slip through the air with Poons airlines!
Westjet New Low Cost Airline
Want to travel? Split with Poons!
You pay for your space on the airplane with the advertised fare.

So you want to fly from Flusherville to... say.... Las Vegas. Air fare would be advertised at $4.

The $4 fare gets you space on the airplane - but it doesn't say where.

It could be in the hold. It could be crouched inside one of the wings. It could be in a cowling or a fairing.

Air fare: $4

So, $4 gets you to Vegas, but you want to add a bit of comfort? Everything is brilliantly a la carte!

Air (breathing): $20
Unreserved seat lottery space: $26
Seat lottery seat guarantee: $10
Over 98 pound charge: $22
Carry on lunch box space charge: $12
Carry on luggage charge (up to 2 kg): $18
Carry on luggage charge (up to 7 kg): $28
Guaranteed seat next to a swarthy commoner eating a coil of garlic sausage out of the hand nearest you: $44
Seat selection: $62
Arrival fee: $26

Finally, somebody to take on Air Fuck You Canada and Westjet. And particularly, Air Fuck You Canada Rouge!

Rouge vs Poons? I know who I'm grabbing!




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