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Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Spirit of Savvy - Day 1, Part 3

Jimmy Poon rigged up a video thingy for me - a server, he calls it - out of an old Commodore Amiga and some of Chippy's wireless dog fence system cabling. It's based on Plex and lets us watch movies and shows on our TV or our knock-off piPhone 3.14s. Plex is fantastic and highly recommended.

Jimmy's really good at technical stuff, as you know from the way he keeps this website up and running, and keeps improving it with his tinkering. (Did you notice the cutting edge 90s style menu system up there on the page?...)

In fact, Jimmy's power did go off during the icicle storm, and he responded by constructing and erecting a wind-powered turbine generator of his own design, using an old-fashioned surplus beauty-shop hair drier and some hastily laid carbon fiber vanes. He now supplies 35 homes on his street with power at very good rates, and his bathtub, where he worked the carbon fiber, is now bulletproof and has an invisible radar footprint.

(I can prove this too, Jimmy Poon's bathtub has never been hit by a sidewinder missle.)

So the night before our trip, Mrs. Flusher decided she would sync a few episodes of TV onto her piPhone 3.14 to watch on the plane. After a while, I hear this whining sound, not unlike the sound of Diesel's Megalon Fryer. The poor Commodore Amiga Plex server Jimmy so lovingly put together was screaming and giving off the scent of electronics which were starting to fry (again, not unlike the Megalon).

"How many episodes of Deadwood did you put on you phone?" I demanded.

"All three seasons, you Swerengen cocksucker," she replied, demurely. (If you've watched Deadwood, you're fine, if you haven't, try not to be offended. It's humorous for those who are Deadwood-savvy.)

I managed to get the cover off the Amiga and it survived transcoding all those videos and dumping them onto her phone, somehow.

Fast forward, Plex style, to the Flusherville Regional Aerodrome where we are boarding our single-engined Curtiss-Wright Beechfokker Industrie Flea-flicker Flameliner Tiger Moth Mark 2 Constellation a la Mode (Stretch Version).

"I want the window seat this trip, on both our flights," she said.

"You started a 4 alarm fire dumping 40 hours of Deadwood episodes onto your piPhone and you want the window seat...?"

I let her have the window seat. The things one does...

And finally, finally it was time for our Vegas journey to begin. We strapped into the Curtiss-Wright Beechfokker Industrie Flea-flicker Flameliner Tiger Moth Mark 2 Constellation a la Mode (Stretch Version) and the pilot donned his leather helmet, and turned around to make the pre-flight announcements.

"Welcome to Air Fuck You Canada flight 69 with service to Toronto's Pearson Internation Airport. I'm your captain and first, I'd like to brief you on the various safety features of our Curtiss-Wright Beechfokker aircraft." His shifty eyes looked left and right and he swallowed hard.

"That is all," he said, and fired up the engine.

With only three barrel rolls and two Cuban eights (all unintentional) we made it to Pearson. And obviously, we boarded Air Canada's Air Fuck You Rouge Canada, bound for Vegas.

This 767 they have doing the 'dump them in Vegas, fleece them, and dump them back' run is a dog. No seat-back TV. Dropdown TVs showing kids movies. They'll pipe movies to your iPad, but it aint free like on other AFUC flight. And there are no overhead air squirter thingies. Instead, every aisle seat has some sort of HVAC box which takes up half the legroom. It's a really, really bad case of terminal what-the-fuck.
A bad case of terminal what-the-fuck invades your foot space on Rouge.

AFUC Rouge Style and their delicious luncheon items.
The Chicken Poulet comes in its own kevlar condom, preventing contact with your mouth.

However... obviously, we survived the trip, and we've landed in Vegas, and now, (with a nod to Johnny Fever), Fellow Vegas Babies... it is ON.

    5 comments:

    1. I thought you'd have the Fromage Cheese sandwich. An aunt of mine told me she really liked that Fromage Cheese.

      ReplyDelete
    2. I can't wait! Bring it on Flusher. Good luck-NMchop

      ReplyDelete
    3. More, more, more!! Please, dear god, more!

      ReplyDelete
    4. As much as I thought Deadwood was a GREAT series, it had the worst final episode in history.

      ReplyDelete
    5. The worst ever series ending belongs to Crime Story !

      ~David

      ReplyDelete

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