Bon Voyage Aloha Carnival Paradise All Aboard!

Day 1 - The day has finally come for my first ever cruise aboard the Carnival Bilge Class Cruising Ship Vessel Paradise, full of food, booze, and gambling.

The Packing Ritual went fairly well this time and I left the Greacey Palms Senior Putt Putt Trailer Park 6 minutes ahead of my 10:30 departure time.

I have a 1:00 embarkation time and it takes about an hour to get to the Cruise Ship Docks at the Port of Tampa. And that put me at the boat with about an hour and a half to spare.

But that's okay, this is all a virgin sailor experience for me - everything is new and unknown.

Just as I was about to get off of I-4 I spotted my ship for the first time, the bright red T-tail of the mizzen mast or whatever reaching up for the sun.

I pre-paid parking, and that went very smoothly. After carting my luggage across the street to the terminal, some guy offered to take my luggage. So I gave it to him along with a few bucks.

No receipt.

I have this nagging feeling my stuff is gone forever, but we'll see.

The security and check in process was quite smooth and Carnival is incredibly well staffed. I must have been warmly greeted by at least ten different employees, and had my crotch sniffed as well.

By their drug dog. Cute fella, next time I'll bring a tennis ball.

Finally, I got a proper view of the ship. It's a lot bigger than the Love Boat in the episode I watched last night.

Aboard, I drank in that exciting feeling of 'what have I gotten myself into' as I looked around. Everything but everything is unfamiliar. It definitely brought back memories of the first time arriving in Vegas, some 30 years ago!

For some reason I have to muster. I've never mustered. The closest thing is what I put on a hot dog. It sounded really serious and official, a prelude to potential disaster at sea, and preparation to survive during same.

The elevators are super-crowded every time I've been near one, so I've been using the stairs, and I walked up to where Muster Station A is - which looks an awful damn lot like a theatre to me.

In reality, a nice little Filipino fella scanned my inkjet-printed boarding pass into a thing and sent me on my way.

"Is that all?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, nodding.

"Do I get a wristband or stamp or..."

"No, sir. You are done, sir."

"So... that's it?"

"You have mustered."

"I have mustered.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Here."

"Not on my shirt?"

The fella's eyes stilled like an icy pond on the calmest winter day. Nothing registered anymore.

"You have... mustered."

Off I went to explore and try to find a bite to eat.

Up two more flights I found the Lido deck, which has a bunch of feeding troughs and a buffet (Paris?). Guy Pontiac Fiero burgers, Blue Iguana Mexican fare maybe a few other things. It's jammed up here, because nobody is allowed into their cabins yet, and the casino is closed until we are at sea.

I circled. It was impossible to find a table. It wasn't fun dragging my carry-on around all those arms, legs, and gaping mouths.

Finally, I ordered up a burrito, forcing the issue. Fortunately, I didn't have to ramble long before I found a place to sit and I wolfed down the burrito.

And, I pulled the chromebook out to pound out this update.

I think they announced that cabins are ready to be occupied, so I'll give the elevators 10 or 15 minutes to clear, and then check out Cabinette 00!