Sunday, February 18, 2018

Royal Flusher's Lucky Seven Vegas Sex Phrases

And now, as stated in the title, Royal Flusher's Lucky Seven Vegas Sex Phrases.

Bellagio Las Vegas Fountains

1. Hitting the Jackpot

How much more obvious could a euphemism be???

2. Playing the one-armed bandit

When your lady gives you a helping hand.

3. Let's go upstairs and 'cut the cards' baby!

Don't be so crude, no one would ever say anything like this.

4. 78 ball keno game.

An unattractive date. She's a 78 ball keno game. (Everyone knows that 80 balls are required for a full game of keno).

5. Whites, reds, greens and blacks

Performing every possible sexual position. From the range of chip denominations - whites ($1), reds ($5), greens ($25), blacks ($100).

Hey man we did the whites, reds, greens and blacks last night!

6. Coin Dropper

An elderly Vegas hooker, under the influence of two extra decades of gravity.

7. Double Zero

You are not getting any sex with me tonight because you lost all our money playing way over your head, and refusing to quit, having too many drinks, leaving me waiting at the restaurant while you drained the ATM, and lost even more of our money you incredible dumbass.

I would like to point out that this last description is a fabrication, not anything that happened around September 25th of this year at Main Street Station.

You figure it out.

Royal Flusher's Daily Vegas Pic - Feb 18, 2018 - Craps

Craps at the Golden Gate.

There's something pure about dice, it hasn't evolved much in decades.

No screens. No blinking lights. No bonus rounds.

Just physical dice, the layout, dealers, and chips.

When you play craps, you are playing it the same way the old-timers did when Vegas was but a twinkle of CTUG in some buffet manager's eye.
Craps game at the Golden Gate
Craps game at the Golden Gate.
I shouldn't say anything, they'll find a way to reduce payouts.

One little thing to look out for is the payout on the 2 or 12 bet. Betting on 2 or 12 straight up nets 31 to 1 on most downtown tables, but 30 to one on the strip.

Similarly for the 3 and 11 proposition bets, the strip tables short you typically, by one unit.

If you stick to the pass line with odds, or placing the 6 and 8, it's all the same though - for now.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Royal Flusher's Daily Vegas Pic - Feb 17, 2018 - Luxor Moon

There's beams. There's high beams.

Then there's moon beams.

And there's Jim Beam.

And there's the Luxor Las Vegas pyramid beam, relentlessly thrusting optically into the sky on a nightly basis, showing that sky who its Sugar Daddy is.

Luxor's unique architecture is still awe-inspiring to me, particularly when you get close to it (on a day there isn't a Cris Angel or Carrot Top building wrapper on it). Add the beam and the moon, and you've got a nice little photo.

Add the Jim Beam, and you've got a nice little vagrancy charge.

This shot was grabbed around the back, walking out of the parking structure.

Turned out kinda nice, except the moon is teeny tiny in it - it sort of looked bigger at the time.

Friday, February 16, 2018

Royal Flusher's Daily Vegas Pic - Feb 16, 2018 - Caesars Palace Pool

Las Vegas is smack in the middle of a desert - and yet much of the relaxation, meditation, lubrication and restoration comes from cool, soothing water.

Of course, it doesn't hurt to have a cool, soothing pool cocktail waitress bringing cool, soothing drinks in plastic cups.

Hotel pools used to be a rectangular hole in the ground around which you would lounge, smoke cigarettes, and get a tan.

Now they are major attractions in Vegas resorts, carefully designed and decorated architectural marvels. With cabanas.

Caesars pool was (and is) full of classic, statuesque fakery. I'm talking statues, not boobs.

Caesars Palace Las Vegas Casino Pool Cocktail Waitress
First things first, order a Caesar.

It's an oasis in an oasis.
Caesars Palace Las Vegas Casino Pool Cocktail Waitress

Given this tough winter and these difficult days, I'd much rather be here, hopefully thinking about nothing much.

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Royal Flusher's Daily Vegas Pic - Feb 13, 2018 - Hard Rock Hotel Stratocaster Sign

First of all, there are two kinds of huge guitar sign people in the world.

There are Gibson Les Paul huge guitar sign people and Fender Stratocaster huge guitar sign people.

I think the Good Lord made his preference known when he smote the Hard Rock Cafe Las Vegas Les Paul huge guitar sign last year.

It's now been relegated to the Neon Museum, in pieces until they can fund-raise enough to (ahem) re-erect it again.
Hard Rock Hotel Las Vegas Neon Fender Stratocaster Guitar Sign
The giant Strat guitar sign even comes in a lefty model.
Now don't get your patch cords twisted in a bunch... I have tons of respect for Les Paul (the man) and the guitar that bears his name is pretty darn good too.

I know there are lots of Gibson folks who read the blog, so I'm just ribbin' y'all a bit - you know who you are.

Take a peep at the Les Paul - hard to tell what kind of finish is on it...

Photo Credit: Las Vegas Review Journal
Now, as far as the Hard Rock Hotel itself goes, it's been sold to Richard Branson - so who knows whether the Strat huge guitar sign will go to the junk heap too?

See the Gibson smoting for yourself.