Saturday, November 24, 2018

Purple Chip Trip Wrap-up and Accounting Spin

This was in so many ways a very satisfying trip, even though I as good as fell flat on my face on a cold, frozen ice-covered sidewalk, breaking my metaphorical gambling nose in the pursuit of my first purple $500 chip. (It's not over, Vegas, you bitch!)

If I could change one thing, it would be the last day. I had one of the best Vegas days ever on this trip, only to follow it up with a step in a steaming turd day.

Actually, I exaggerate.

The turd is not steaming.

What a kick in the gambol-nuts to do nothing but lose on the last day! I started the day down $600 on an nine day trip - which is totally acceptable, given the comp situation - more on that later. But on the last day I doubled up (down) to -$1200 for the trip.

As we say in Flusherville, "That's gambling."

Flights were two one-way fares, booked with the last of my Aeroplan points, with some fees and upgrades tacked on - but even with those, they were dirt cheap - a total of $147 to get there and back, plus another $100 or so in train fares.

The best part was the return flight which cost me 12,500 points and $5.73 in cash. Take that, Air FU Canada!

All my room nights were comped, but Bally's and Luxor clawed back resort fees. It wasn't so bad at Luxor because I got $100 resort credit and $50 free play with the offer.

Total out of pocket expenses for the trip, including rail, air, hotel, car, and food, were: $878


Gambling losses were $1,200. Again, over eight days, I lost $600 - less than $100 a day. And over nine days, I lost $1200. Damn last day. Why, why, why?!

I got some really solid freeplay that bolstered the ole budget. There are many ways to 'account' for freeplay. Because I lost on this trip, I will count it as a comp.

Why? Because, say I go downtown with say $50 in my pocket. I go to the Nugget, and put $25 in a machine. At that moment, I have... $50. $25 cash, and $25 in the machine.

Now, an alternate scenario... let's say I go downtown with say $50 in my pocket. I go to the Nugget, put my card in a machine, and punch some buttons. At that moment I have $50 cash and $25 in the machine. Net difference - well, I think the point is obvious.

You could argue that the $25 free play isn't countable as cash. Maybe you're right. But I look at it this way - if I went downtown with the plan of putting $25 in credits on a machine at the Nugget and playing it, that $25 freeplay is $25 I didn't have to put in the machine in cash. They've comped me $25 in credits.

Besides, it's my accounting spin and I can accounting spin any which way I want. Nobody is going to audit me.

Except maybe Math Guy.


For comps, I'm only going to count the larger chunks of change - in other words, nothing smaller than $10. It totals up to $215. I won't count match plays.

Total comps received this trip, including 9 hotel nights, food and beverage credit, free meals obtained "by other means", and a refunded Lyft ride of some $19 (you call it a refund, I call it a comp!) all totaling: $1089

It should be noted that I was very conservative with my estimates of comped room costs at Bally's and Luxor. Luxor included a Friday and Saturday night, but I pegged the nights at $80 each. There would have been 12% tax on top of that, as well. The internet tells me that the average cost of a Vegas room night is $127.

So, hard expenses of $878 plus $1200 gambling losses = $2078.
Comps received = $1089.

Net fake accounting spin cost of the trip = $989.

Even at $2078 hard costs, I did 'okay' for a nine day trip. That's $230.88 a day for hotel, food, car, and entertainment.

Now, just as we obey the Strict Rules of Parlay, we also obey the Loose Rules of Accounting Spin - those flights on Aeroplan points? COMPED.

I'm gonna say they would have cost $400 each. (That's USD, Toronto to Vegas).

Net fake cost of the trip with full Loose Rules of Accounting Spin applied = $189.

What a bargain! I can barely afford not to go!


There's another aspect to consider here, which is just kind of a point of interest. Astute readers of this blog know that I have burned my bridges at MLife a number of times by staying on offers and short-playing them, only to have the offers start coming back at some later date.

Not only were they throwing out three and four night comped stays with $50 freeplay and $50 to $100 resort credit for almost all the Vegas properties, upon my return, I took a look at my MLife account to see if by chance there was anything left.

Now how could I not book another offer of three comped nights at Aria, with $50 freeplay and $50 resort credit?

I think Mrs. Flusher would love Aria, don't you?

I've never stayed there, but I know some people who have, and they are some of the most trustworthy degenerates known to man.

She also likes saying at Steve Dangleshorts Wynn.

Stay tuned.



Duodenum: I just checked MLife to see what other offers might there be. To recap, I had the many resorts/free play/resort credit offer that I used for Luxor for 4 nights. And I've booked another copy of that offer for (ahem) an upcoming possible trip at Aria.

Look what's STILL in the hopper!


Life is good in Flusherville!

Post Duodenum:

I really do get some pleasant spam messages for poker sites. To wit:

I was surfing the Internet for information and came across your blog. I am impressed by the information you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject.

I haven’t any word to appreciate this post.....Really i am impressed from this post....the person who create this post it was a great human..thanks for shared this with us. 


Looking for more Vegas trip report action to read? Why not:


Monday, November 5, 2018

Bye Bye Downtown Deuces


Just about every trip to Vegas, I took time out to go to the El Cortez and play one (or both) of the last Downtown Deuces in existence.

I was pretty lucky the last three trips, managing to hit the $500 deuces on two of them.

A good thing never lasts forever, and I tried to enjoy the experience of playing the ages old coin-droppers as much as possible, each chance I got.


From the No-Roller trip report:

"As I approach the El Cortez, as always, my excitement starts to grow as I near the old machines. There is going to be a day when I walk through those doors to find no more Downtown Deuces. Hopefully this is not that day."

Here's the story of my second last hit on the legendary machines.


In May, I wrote:

"Last day in Vegas? I have to take another shot at the Downtown Deuces in the El Cortez. Similar to the evening before, I've limited my downside losses by bringing only just a little cash with me - $165, in this case. In retrospect, I don't know why the number is $165, but I'm sure I had a good reason for it at the time.

I've got quite a bit of time to kill until my host is due at the Plaza, later in the afternoon, and video poker seems like a good way to kill it. And it is.

I want to remember everything about the experience. I try to drink in the atmosphere. It's pretty foul so I settle for small, reasonable sips of the atmosphere.

I look, I listen, I take my time, and feel joyous playing this wonderful game in this great, historic casino, in this, yes, fabulous town."


All I can hope for at this point is that maybe just maybe these machines will see the light of day again. Maybe they've just been moved or put in storage.

Maybe.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

The Blackjack Cheerleader


When I woke up at 5:00am, I knew that I had a very long day ahead. All day in Vegas, get in the rental car at 9:00pm, gas it up, dump it (maybe even at the car rental center), horrible shuttle bus to the terminal, take off for Toronto at 12:15am. Six hours later, on the train to Flusherville Junction.

I've had some really great winning days but I can't recall having two in a row like the last two days, where I pretty much won all day long, with some blips.

Could I do it again on this, the last day of my trip? I have to admit, I didn't think so. The key was to be careful, conservative, cautious, and cash savvy.

None of these are traits that I possess.

After some internetting, featuring hand-crafted hot-brewed direct-to-cup signature in-room coffee, I set out to have 'some of the green' at the Main Street Station breakfast buffet, and embark on my planned activities, which included playing in a slot tournament and enjoying some free play at the Golden Nugget, other gambling, drinking, and possibly a steak.


Check the 'some of the green' box.

Looking back on the day, I ain't gonna lie, it wasn't pretty. And this is evidenced by the dearth of photographic evidence. Which means there wasn't much to photograph.

I stooped to taking pictures of other people's wins.

The gambling day began at the scene of the Aces Kicker Bonanza - nickel Super Slutty Times Pay. It seemed like things were going to be fine!

First quad of the day!

View from the nickel gambling console.


I played out all the credits from the first two quads, which is not unexpected on a game like the one you see pictured there.

It was time to hit the Nugget. On my round of the slot tournament, the woman next to me had pretty much double my points at every point during the session. I knew I had no chance. Fair enough.

I decided to do freeplay on dollar short pay crap poker, and I did just fine! An early full house meant I'd cash out some dough from this exercise.

$50 freeplay becomes $75 cash. Woot.
This is the point in the day, approximately 10:17 AM, when my day became, with a nod to Mr. Lahey,  a shit-covered hot shit sandwich on rye, with a side of shitslaw, and a shitberry shake. In other words, a shiticane of bad luck.


Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Last Minute Heroics

Just a quick update from my phone before I head to the airport.

Today has been pretty rough. The luck taps definitely got turned off for the most part. What can I say, it sucks. 

The purple chip attempt from a $100 buy in was one of the worst blackjack sessions I've ever experienced. I hate to admit defeat but it ain't gonna happen this time. 

I did get one more set of nickel Pointies. No kicker though.


Last chance for monetary romance is on Triple Double Bonus at McCarran. 

I'll give you all today's deets from Flusherville tomorrow.

Oh Yes They Call Him the Streak

The D welcomed me into with its non-stop party, with legs spread further apart than they should be for the shortness of her skirt, an off-center glassy-eyed gaze and slurred speech, which could barely be heard over the poundy-poundy soundtrack. Then it insisted on shaking my hand, and shouting at me "I LOVE YOU, MAN..."

It didn't slow me down - I had $5 free play and I aimed to use all of it in one glorious sitting. But first, the Vue bar and an iced Maker's Mark had my interest.

I haven't played often at this bar, but I should. Where else are you going to find a progressive 8/5 Bonus Poker bartop?

My twenty slipped in and play began. I noticed that the progressive on the straight flush was up there pretty high, and reflected that I hadn't hit one so far this trip, despite many draws from four.


Not more than two sips in, a beautiful sight spread itself across my screen. I muttered a "Holy shit!", but didn't fuck around with a photo or anything. With a progressive winner, you don't want to risk having someone else hit it while you are posing for Instagrampa. No, I held all the cards, did a quick check, checked it again, and hit Draw, locking in not only a dealt straight flush, but a sequential one to boot. What a beautiful thing!


Damn, what a lucky hand! I played a few more and cashed out at some fairly even number, blew the $5 freeplay (got nothing) and bailed.

Out on Fremont I spotted my friend, Mr. Rasta Steeldrumplayerman - and now that I think about it, didn't I start winning yesterday after getting a nod from him?

He was dragging his equipment along Fremont for the day's musicmaking, and I stopped, shook his hand, and said hello.

"I love your smile, and I love your music," I said.

He smiled more.

Now I was bound to be even more lucky!

On I went, enjoying the sunshine and warm temperatures. This week of the year is the best time of year to visit Las Vegas, followed closely by the remaining 51 weeks of the year. But the weather in mid October is just stunningly gorgeous, like myself.


I walked along the sidewalk beside the ElCo, along Fremont, and ducked in the last door. The Keno desk Sheila checked my ticket and awarded me $17.50, a princely sum amounting to some 23.837% of my wager. So that counts as a speedbump in the winning cash expressway.

Fancying another drink, I sat down at Ike's bar and put a $5 bill into the bartop.