Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Flusher Eats The Ultimate CTUG

Nothing beats checking into a high class five star hotel with a $5 Walmart cooler bag full of bourbon and emergency cheese sticks.

The drive to Wynn was easy. I parked, checked in, paid $20 a night for a room upgrade, and got to the room. Nice 'n easy.

The $20 was for a strip view room at Encore. Two queens with the seating area as well. It's a gorgeous room and a great view.

We - errr - unpacked, and then spent some time relaxing in the room (and playing keno).

The Peppermill just down the street from Encore was an easy choice for dinner.

While waiting for a table, we played at the bar.

I pointed out to QQ that the paytable went up past 5 coins worth - the machine would play a lot more than 5 coins. So avoid hitting the Play Max button, and use the play 5 coins button instead.

A minute later, the QQ has a Q. It's ringing up and ringing up.

"Way to go! Hmm, you must have played 20 coins," I said.

"I did?"

A happy accident. She cashed $150 from the bar and used it to buy $150 worth of steak and country throw-up gravy. Okay, more like $45 worth.

Nevermind Country Throw-up Gravy - make up your own bodily fluid metaphor.
The portions at Peppermill are huge. Take a look at this guy's drink and nachos!

After dinner, we went back to Encore and I asked about the tournament. Somehow I thought there would be info waiting for me when I checked in, but there wasn't.

The only time available to play in the slot tournament is when we have an appointment at the I.R.S. to get our ITINs updated.

They wouldn't make any concession to get me an earlier time for the tourney, or to take a no-show's place - and there are always no-shows.

The Quad Queen capped the night with some Pick-a-pair... and a quad.

She'd had a third winning day in a row - and that's not easy to do!

I don't have to tell you where I sat. Watching keno, with no win in sight.

A New Day, a New Set of Balls

The D has a 10 cent Deano rate on live keno. Keno is a terrible game. You shouldn't play it. I bought $200 worth of games.

I'd been on QQ's case to check her card at the desk to see if she had any freeplay, because I suspected she did. And she did! $20.

We also got a spin on some sort of kiosk thing for some reason that I don't know.

The QQ got 10,000 points and I got 25,000. These could be cashed for a total of $35, used as $35 freeplay, or used for food at a 40% discount.

So it was a $55 win just for going to the booth. Cool

Breakfast was delish as usual - club sandwich for the lady, omelette for the gent.

Today's Special Art Installation is BE SAVVY, by Flusher. Banksy, you can suck it.
After breakfast at the Cal, I walked over to The D and set up a ticket with three groups of 4, three groups of 5, one group of 6 and one group of 7. That's 80 cents a game.

With this ticket, I can be in action 24 hours a day, except overnight when the keno is closed. And, I can follow it on the kenousa.com site.

Having a drink in the room at Wynn? Play keno.

Eating a meal? Play keno.

Listening to your wife's issues and observations about things such as 'what's that smell'?

Listen carefully and play keno.

We moved to Wynn today, and there isn't much for a machine jockey to play there, so why not relax and gamble 80 cents every three minutes on a bunch of balls that hate you?

Ticket purchased, I was about to leave the D and suddenly thought maybe I might have a bit of freeplay. I seem to get $5 a month.

The first machine I saw, I put my card into.

Hey, $5! Cool.

I didn't even sit down, just pulled up 8/5 Bonus with Royal Progressive, and played a couple of hands. Hey, got a full house, cool.

I played a few more hands, played it down to about $10 and then...

...dealt quad.

I already had $40 of my $200 back. And I actually cashed it out and took the dough.

Back at the Cal, it was time to pack up and ship out, and dead on noon, we were outta there.

Destination: Wynn, via Palace Station.


With the rental car stashed in the parking structure (El Primo Spotto on the 4th level), and the room camping provisions laid in, we headed to Main Street Station.

The Quad Queen has a thing for 10-play Bonus Poker - which gives me shivers, because it can go so wrong so fast. It can also pay off big time.

To balance things out, I opted for nickel triple play. Say that three times fast.

We'd done a decent amount of pre-gaming in the room and Hot Towels kept us topped up. Before long we were twice the legal limit, and damn proud of it.

I played for quite a while on $40 or so, but eventually it was time to move (and cut ourselves off).

We hit up the five play double super times pay bonus poker (say that three times fast) and I for one got on one hell of a run. The Quad Queen for the other did too.

We didn't end up making money but we played a full two hours on our first couple of twenties.

Here's a few moderately notable hands.

I spent some time on a super old school Keno machine. Just look at this baby, a dying breed, with curved CRT screens, and a light pen, as it was called.

And it still is called, by me.

We'd basically killed 4 hours pounding the video poker, as well as our livers. It was time to eat.

So back to the coffee shop we went, because I'd already got my heart set on the Hawaiian Hamburger Steak.

Guess who showed up to take our order?


The Snickers Stealer.

So he came over and greeted us and said, "Hey, I remember you."

I'm like, "You should, you wrote all over my skin yesterday with your grimy order-taking pen."

"You're the Snickers people, well, we'll have to see if we can get a Snickers for you this time."

Finally, this would be sorted, and the saga ended with karmic balance restored.

The Quad Queen had the steak and eggs and I had the Hawaiian Hamburger Steak for which the stupid waiter said he could bring fries instead of rice.

It came with rice and then he pretended the cooks forgot the fries and he would do me a huge favor and go and get a plate of fries.

He also forgot the Quad Queen's order of one glass of milk.

The food was good, the plates got taken away, and then the waiter brought the check and said, "bye, have a nice evening".

No Snickers? After mentioning the Snickers having taken my Snickers and then refusing to get me a Snickers, and then implying that Snickers would be delivered with this nutritional exchange???

"I don't see any little Snickers," I said.

"Well, the head chef is back in the kitchen, if he wasn't, I might be able to wrangle one out of them, I have to have a check for everything that goes out of the kitchen, I can't even get a Snickers without paperwork, heh heh heh."

By this time I was pissed. Let's face it, it's not about the Snickers anymore. If he couldn't deliver, fine, but he fucking brought it up at the beginning of the meal!

You don't do this to a child, let alone a Royal Flusher child!

"Well," I said, "why don't you ASK the head chef if you can make your customer happy by bringing him a shitty little Snickers bar?"

He went away.

Then he came back.

You can all rest easy now. The battle is won! The forces of Flusher have triumphed over waitstaff evil! Winter is coming!

The old dollar coin droppers near the lobby seemed like a good bet, so we each bought $60 in coins from the cage - super old school - and grabbed a 9/6 Jacks machine.

It was a blast! You have to put the coins in, the hand is dealt, you hold cards, and if you win, the coins dump into the tray with a most pleasing ear-damage inducing clatter!

The thing is, I did pretty well at it!

I got two quads, and ended up cashing $210. The Quad Queen made $50 or $60 as well.

What now? I said I wanted to play this older Buffalo machine down in the lower area by the craps tables, and headed there. When the Quad Queen joined me, she found a nearby slant top.

I played for maybe four or five minutes and heard my name being called. I turned to look and was beckoned.

"Beckon over here, dumbass," said the QQ, or at least, wanted to.

So I cashed out and beckoned my ass over there and this is what I saw.

The credits were still rolling up - she'd hit a $1000 Shockwave quad!!! The funny thing is, she had forgotten what the jackpot was, and when the credits went way above what she expected she checked it out and realized she'd won 4,000 of 'em.

It only took a minute - the first quad came on about the fifth hand, and four or five hands later, the second jackpot one came.

Mrs. F headed to bed, a winner for the second day in a row!

After some early success, I decided to go on complete tilt, and lost the rest of my bankroll in about half an hour in a disgusting display of incompetent money management. I should have just quit. You know, the usual tug of war between taking risk and getting your ass kicked. You're a hero when it works, and a guilty dirty dog when it doesn't

I blame the Snickers sugar crash.

Yeah... it's all the waiter's fault.

Monday, March 18, 2019

Air FU Canada Rough Cessna 172 Service

Robert Timm and John Cook flew a cramped, little Cessna 172 for over 64 days non-stop in 1958, thus inspiring economy class on Air FU Canada Rouge.

St. Patrick's Day, and I had big plans, which basically included picking up a rental car, gambling, and drinking.

You know the drill - pound out yet another jaw-dropping awe-inspiring borderline interesting blog post or two, grab breakfast at the coffee shop counter, and then get sorted.

I whipped over to Main Street to take a marker (ahem) and then grabbed the WAX to the airport for $2.

While waiting for the bus, I witnessed a clown car act of cindness as some goofed up firefighters stopped traffic and helped an old fella across the street.

He didn't actually want to cross the street at all, but their gallantry was still appreciated I'm sure.

The rookie mistake of taking the escalator instead of the elevator, led me to level 2 instead of level 1, but afforded me the chance to photograph an airplane - the one mentioned above.

That done, I found the shuttle for the Car Rental facility and 55 minutes after leaving the Cal, I had my car, a sexy silver Impala.

I hit CVS for some important room camping supplies for the upcoming stay at Wynn, and was thrilled to find Jameson's was on sale. And so was Maker's Mark.

At Walmart, I picked up a cooler bag that holds quite a bit - for a measly five bucks. Perfect.

And then I hauled ass back to the hotel where we got busy gambling and whatnot.

We had a really fun day, and the way my day ended was a surprise, and the way the QQ's day ended was also a surprise.

However... since we have to move this morning, I will post the deets later today, once we're ensconsed in Wynn.

See you then!