My Chance to Win Big it said

I called Jimmy Poon. "Jimmy Poon, this is not fixed! Your AS engine is not working - maybe you should try ChatGPT instead..."

Then I heard sniffling.

Day 4 - Tuesday Aug 25, 2026

"Jimmy... are you crying?"

"No..." said Jimmy Poon. He was.

"I'll fix it right away."

I softened my tone after emitting a little elfin laugh just like Jimmy Poon's.

"Jimmy, there's no crying in blogging or computer science. Or gambling. Or baseball. At least, that's what you told me. Get busy, get this fixed, and it'll all be good. Thanks, pal."

Who would have that that AI would lead to tears? Jimmy said he'd fix it right away and he did. The new artwork arrived straight away.

I slept in again, and got busy with my room camping coffee and punishment pre-breakfast, and blogged yesterday's incredible fucking disaster.

But I was cheered. It was a new day, and I was primed and ready to take on a brand new incredible fucking disaster.

Just as I finished writing, Bobby and Mrs. G texted to say they were at the Market Street downstairs. I joined them and we had breakfast together.

I suppose I could even re-use the same photo of breakfast over and over each day, it's always the same order.

We all had things to pursue - moving day for me - so we finished up and said our goodbyes. It was really wonderful to spend time with my good friends. Definitely worth the effort to time my visit to line up.

I packed up all my stuff and that left me a little less than an hour to have a last gasp at gambling at the Cal. The machines I wanted to play were occupied, so I started by cashing in $25 worth of points and playing it on Deuces.

That went nowhere, so I put a hundred in and scored a wild royal after a bit. And I did hit two natural quads, both Jacks, just to insult me. 20 credits each.

Head hung low, I rode the escalator of shame up to the Mezzanine, crossed the bridge of shame to Main Street, and did the walk of shame to the cage, where I tapped out my credit limit by taking another small marker.

I played $100 in the Loose Doose and got another wild royal for my efforts. But it all went away chasing those ducks.

Little did I know at the time that this would be the best hand I'd see all day. Kinda gave away the plot there, didn't I.

It was noon and time to get out. I emailed my host and asked him to take a look at my room charges and headed on out to the Club Fortune Casino, to take advantage of their 'first $100 in losses back' promotion.

I took the photo above on my way out, having lost $100, and then having lost the $100 that they gave me back. Bonus Deluxe, and then Keno.

Lunch? Yes please! I'd had a hankering for Asian food for some time and found myself (after purposefully driving there) at the Kung Fu restaurant on Spring Mountain, a place I've been to a time or twice.

They still have an amazing lunch special. For $10.75 you get soup, choice of main dish, a chicken wing, and a spring roll. Steamed or fried rice as well.

The Chicken Panang seemed like a good bet and it was. Everything was excellent. The wing was fresh and hot, as was the spring roll. And the panang was so good, I practically wanted to lick the last of the sauce out of the dish.

The same guy who sport-humped a million dollars found some decorum at this juncture and I restrained myself.

It was so good and so reasonable, don't be surprised if I end up there again tomorrow for lunch.

My fortunate cookie said "Don't miss out on your chance to win big!". In retrospect, the lucky Keno numbers were right there.

It wasn't check-in time at Encore yet so I jumped back on I-15 and headed to South Point.

I tried to repeat my recent success at the Loose Doose in a previous trip, but it wasn't happening. Saw lots of hands with three deuces, but never four.

This hand is kind of interesting - hit it on the re-deal.

Other video poker sucked too. I did have a tiny success screwing around on White Orchid - my degenerate go-to vintage video slots. I won $30.

My room at Encore was ready (they said), so I grabbed some drinkin' stuff and some snacks from the gift shop at South Point, and headed north, stopping at Smith's for punishment dinner.

The express check-in thingy seemed to work, and I hauled all my crap up to the room.

In lieu of exciting tales of gambling, here's a photodump of my king Encore suite.

The intensity of the last four days had worn me down a bit and I had a couple of cocktails and just chilled in the quiet comfort of my room.

My punishment supper was pretty good. The hoagie was stuffed with meat, a good deal at $5.99. And the dill potato salad was excellent.

That's the one problem with Enwynn - when it comes to the restaurants, you pay through the nose. And I don't think cashiers like that very much.

I missed out on getting the free tickets for Awakenings and they are dark the next two nights, so I guess that's that.

Down in the casino, I ordered a mojito and went at it. My $100 Free Play went pretty well on Keno - I harvested almost all of it. But again, no 5 out of 5 hit was coming and I was down $100 cash. I should have taken the cookie's advice.

The next bit turned me. I got completely pissed off at quarter Double Super Times Pay. Triple Play Bonus Poker. Hand after hand of disappointment. Multipliers that paid nothing. Flushes not made. On and on, and I went on tilt, dumping quite a few hundies at it, stupidly believing that a quad had to be just around the corner.

And then it was over, and I hadn't have a proper quad all day long. Or a hit on Keno for that matter.

My lighter mood approach to this trip finally gave way to anger and frustration. I was pissed. This was not what I wanted, not what I was so looking forward to.

To try to drain some of the anger away, I took off on a fast walk, over to Wynn, all the way around it, and back to Encore, and then my room.

At least the bed is comfortable.

Let's turn this ship around tomorrow.

Cause I'm in trouble deep.

Hot, Loud and Obnoxious

I don't know why I didn't create the trip report artwork myself instead of trusting Jimmy Poon. His Artificial Stupidity engine has screwed it up again!

Day 3 - Monday Aug 24, 2026

I woke up at 5:something o'clock. Normally, I would force myself to get up.

Not this trip. I waved it off and slept till 7:30. I will pay for this when I go home.

But I'm focusing on letting go and enjoying myself this trip. So far, so good!

Senor Gustavo El Vigoroso made for a fine punishment breakfast. This man, this legend, is a coffee expert who sips small cups of the brew seated at a worn whitewashed table that is precariously perched on the misty slopes of a coffee plantation in South America. He chooses only the finest beans to make the perfect blend. Only if it's good enough for Senor Gustavo, is it good enough to be shipped to you.

Actually, the stuff is boxed by a union garçon named Gilles in a warehouse in Sherbrooke, Quebec.

Still, it makes a fine cup as a part of a healthy punishment breakfast.

And while I 'enjoyed' my punishment RX bar, I cranked out another cookie-cutter blog post for all y'all to enjoy.

Late morning, it was time to hit the casino. I would really like to get a dollar royal this trip, and I feel the best way to do that is to play low volatility dollar 9/6 Jacks or Better. It also gets my coin in up there to keep the comp rooms coming.

Well, I pounded out about 1,000 hands and it cost $200. There are no photos, there are no wins. I played some triple play and this and that, no wins. By the time I was in touch with Bobby G, most of my ready cash was gone.

That's how it goes sometimes, if there aren't any hits, it's just a drain.

I headed over to Main Street Station and took a big fat marker. Reinforcements had arrived!

Kind of craving some vegetables, I opted for a buffet for lunch, while Bobby G worked on cranking out a YouTube video.

And of course, the bread pudding was extra runny!

Sufficiently fueled up, both in caloric and monetary terms, I turned to gambling again.

Loose Deuces ate $100. I had three Deuces dealt twice, but couldn't close. I was playing 50 cents and four ducks would have solved my problems nicely - they would have been worth $1250.

When a blog post is sprinkled with 'would have's, it's not a good sign.

I played some dime triple play Double Super Times Slutty Pay, and this is where I got really pissed off. I'll show you why in a sec.

I hit a quad, which is always nice. Finally broke the ice.

Then I was dealt quad 10s. And this is the type of hand that can really win you some money, but you need a multiplier. The hand by itself is $75 at that denom, but say you have a 10 times multiplier...

I didn't have no multiplier - no sireee - but on Double STP, you can get a multiplier when you hit Draw.

I was praying to Jimmy Poon and all things holy for that spinner. I hit the button and...  nothing. $75 is great but it wasn't going to make a dent in my losses thus far.

Here's a failed Royal draw!

And finally a quad... but I drained this out.

Bobby and Mrs. G were ready to head out to Jerry's Nugget, so off we went. I wanted to get a Jerry's Nugget hat but $24.95? Same hat they give away with a $40 Bingo buy in.

No hat for me.

So yeah, I played $100 in video poker, then $100 in video poker, then $100 in video Keno. Absolutely nothing to show for it.

Oh boy this was getting bad.

Mrs. G was playing some $5 blackjack, so I joined her at the table. The dealer was really fun, with all kinds of smack talk and jokes, so I hit her with my best.

"So where do they keep Jerry's Nuggets?" I asked.

"Say what? Jerry what!!?"

"Where can I see Jerry's Nuggets? Are they on display? Or maybe kept in a sack somewhere?"

"Alla time ain't nobody ever ask 'bout Jerry's Nuggets. What's wrong witchou???"

"Lots of things."

I played it down to where I had only $15 left and shoved it all into the betting circle.

Won that one, and then went on a pretty good run. Shoving a $20 bet out and hitting blackjack helped a lot.

And I managed to build my stack back up until it was time to eat. I colored up for $102.50. A profit of $2.50! It was... a start?

I've had mixed success at the coffee shop, but thought I might as well eat with the Gs.

Our server, Mr. Server was something else. He brought my patty melt last.

"Anything else?"

Bobby G said something about he heard the biscuits were good.

"Ketchup and steak sauce please," I said.

The server dude buggered off and then three minutes later, showed up with a biscuit for Bobby G.

"Here's your biscuit, and here's the steak sauce and hot sauce."

"I think the hot sauce is for that other table over there," said Bobby G.

"Oh. OK, right, did you want mayonnaise?" Mr. Server asked me.

"Yeah, that would be good. And the ketchup."

Five minutes later, my fries were getting cold. Mr. Server shows up with a stainless steel vat of mayo.

"Mayonnaise."

"Ketchup please," I said, "before my fries are cold."

Five minutes later the ketchup finally arrives. Mr. Server stands over my shoulder making unintelligible small talk. None of us have any idea what he's on about - something about the French. I say nothing and wish he would go away.

The guy was the worst waiter I've had in ages. Maybe because he was the supervisor.

Mrs. G kindly picked up my meal and I provided the tip. I would really miss that $2.50.

Back at Main Street, Mrs. G headed up to the room and Bobby and I headed to the Cal, where I promptly lost yet another $100 on 50 cent Double Double Bonus.

Meanwhile, Bobby was hitting things on Dollars, so I sat down beside him.

And finally, finally, some daylight.

What a relief! Maybe there was hope. Shortly after that I was dealt 4 to a Royal but couldn't get it.

BobbyG wanted to try Buffalo for the first time. I kind of thought he wouldn't like it and I was right. Some people are just not geared for it. The Quad Queen hated it and she would just pound the button to skip right to the results of each spin, trying to get to the bonus - she didn't care about the drama, she just wanted the money.

We both actually did okay and cashed out even.

Bobby had some free play to pick up at the Golden Gate, so we headed out, but on the way I bumped into Grace. We exchanged hugs and greetings and caught up a tiny bit.

"It's really awful out there, so hot!" she said.

An understatement.

At Golden Gate, Bobby made a couple of hundred while I lost $60.

This is when I accused him of sucking the luck from me.

"Goddammit Bobby, you're nothing but a lucksucker."

Never mind the $500 ticket I'd cashed out half an hour before, sitting next to him.

The Golden Gate is loud and horrible. For me, they've ruined the place. It once had so much old Vegas charm, and now it's nothing but pounding, bland, same old same old. Table games are gone. Restaurant is gone. I just hate it now and I have no reason to go there again.

Outside it was still scorching and Fremont was Fremonting. A carnival of excess, a midway of the lowest common denominator of 'in your face'.

We walked through Binions to give the lone decent machines a spin. I lost. Again.

Back at the Cal, we said so long for the night, and Bobby headed back to Main Street, while I had a date with yet more video poker.

Grace came around and I ordered a Maker's rocks.

"How was it out there?" she asked.

"Hot, loud, and obnoxious - like me," I said.

I played dollar Jacks and turned $100 into $200 without getting a quad. I cashed that out and changed machines.

I tried 50 cent Double Double. And hey, I got me a set of Pointies. No kicker, though. And I cashed that ticket out for $400.

I was really making progress and I thought maybe I could retrieve the day and maybe make the losses a little more reasonable.

Time to have a few Makers and relax with video Keno.  I played. And I played. And I played.

The five out of five would just not show up. I went through $100. And another. I cashed the $200 ticket and played through another $100. 

I must have played oh, for almost 2 hours?

Time for bed, but I thought one last bash at... what?

Dollar Boner Deluxe. One little quad would net me $400.

I played through $100 and then I did the stupid thing. I put in the $400 ticket.

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.

Well, I bashed through that in about 22 minutes. The Quad would just not show up.

And that was it for the night.

Oddly, this was a really fun day. I managed pretty well not to let it get to me. But facts are, I think this was the single worst day I have ever had in Vegas.

Sport humping a million dollars.