Sunday, May 27, 2018

Make Them Pay - Live Dispatches Sat May 26, 2018

Today has been pretty interesting and enjoyable, which is a nice change from my gambling activities lately. Hanging out with fun people is always enjoyable, that was never an issue.

After I got my earlier post done, I went (guess where) down to the casino and started messing around.

I am still having trouble getting the number of quads I should - but my luck has turned for the better.

The moment it changed was just about when I received notification from Jimmy Poon that a generous donation to the blog was made by the very savvy T.H.

It came with instructions. Three simple words.

Make them Pay

I liked it a lot. Succinct and to the point.

Let's take a look at tonight's pocket dump, shall we?

Note the cold, hard cash, and the $100 chips. I didn't have most of those when I got up this morning.

Video poker is much better today, and I played my ass off. The quads still don't come as often as they should, but I'm working around that.

Ever since I got to the Cal, I've been having a great time, where the last two days at the Trop I was miserable.

Today was easily and violently the best day of the trip. If I keep it up, I'll turn the lights out on this joint.

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Mezzanine Mayhem - Live Dispatches Sat May 26, 2018

Various folks that I've run across on the Internets are around and once I got to the Cal, I found myself in the middle of a Joan of Aces / McGoo Boar's Head Bar sandwich. Joe from VMB came over to say hello as well. He came in person rather than waving from his coveted #1 machine, so that was impressive.

Magoo demonstrates the power of the Flusher Business Card.
We played at the bar for almost four hours, during which time everybody made money - except me. I managed only one lone quad over 1600 hands of VP.

Texas Steph and Hubby treated me to dinner at the Triple 7, which was very nice of them. We had a good ole chinwag and after, I pointed them at a dollar progressive with the royal up to $6900. (I know they didn't hit it because this morning it's at $7800).

There's a BBQ bacon cheeseburger under all those delicious rings - I swear!
Joan of Aces got into some Mezzanine Mayhem up where the antiques are, including Churchill's billiards table. It's gigantic, but my observation was that Churchill's stick bent left quite a bit.

We said so long and back at the Cal I got into a two hour blackjack session that went pretty well.

Then I had a series of 'pick a machine, put in a twenty, lose 9 hands in a row, and go out in 2 minutes' events. That just sucks.

I went for one more twenty and played for about an hour - on good ole Flashy. But Flashy wouldn't give up a quad. In a fit of desperation, I tried one more, but switched to Super Double Triple Fucker Bonus Poker.

No kicker though.

I just realized that after being here almost a week, $200 is my biggest win so far. That explains a lot.

I slept pretty crappily, I think because the air kept going on and off, and it was waking me up with an arctic blast up the ast every few minutes.

Got up pretty early as a result, showered and whatnot, and met Joan of Aces for breakfast over at the MSS buffet. Manny was on duty and I'm thrilled to know that I'm a rock star that made his day. Then Joan of Aces headed off to Zorkfest at T.I. and I headed off to the computer.

And here we are.

Friday, May 25, 2018

McFlusher Happy Meal - Live Dispatches Friday May 25, 2018

UPDATED 11:33am

These are the harder entries to write. When things go bad, and nothing much happens.

I mentioned that when you are losing at video poker, things accelerate. I did pretty well for the first half of yesterday - example, played a solid two hours on five-play nickels and it cost $60.

That same $60, or rather, a new $60 lasted fifteen minutes today. Just crap deal after crap deal. I have this memory of holding lone aces four or five times in a row. Bet 25 credits, get back 5 or 10. Or none. The only entertainment here is the shock and wonder at the spectacle of how bad the deals can be over an extended period of time.

Behold! The Ceiling of Ponderment, upon which I spent many hours yesterday gazing in loserville meditation class.
My offer at the Trop came with free tickets to David Goldrake's Imaginarium show, so that gave me something to do in the evening. It was a great escape. Heh.

Even though things did go badly yesterday, I exercised pretty good self control. I had a few hundies left on me and the rule was I never left the room with more than one. I played at different times during the day and stuck to the best machine I could find at the Trop 90% of the time. Only $20 on slots (Freddy F.) and no Beeefffalloooo which has been giving nothing but Buffalo Chips lately.

I played half my last hundy before the show and half after. Both forays lasted mere minutes.

After that, desperate times called for degenerate measures, and I took care of business with my last usable credit card. (Not really.)

Thursday, May 24, 2018

VIctor Victoria Day - Live Dispatches May 24

UPDATED 3:06pm

Happy Victoria Day, everybody. I'm sure that everyone will think fondly of Queen Victoria in Canada, the UK, and the rest of the world by Canadian proxy.

USA, let's just hold on for Memorial Day and let off the fireworks then, OK? Cool.

What I Have Accomplished Today

- found my foam earplugs on the nightstand for the second night in a row. No idea how they got out of my ears.
- google 'earplug fairy' and get some pretty awful image results
- make two cups of delicious Little Giant coffee and consume with pilfered gas station creamer and Starbucks stevia
- perform various bodily ablutions on request
- spend an hour and a half with Jimmy Poon on the phone, overseeing some updates to the website code that spits unwanted ads onto your devices. An unfortunate necessity due to the Poon Moneytization effort.
- mentally figure out a justification for losing around $400 yesterday. My bill at Plaza would have been about $340. However, due to my savvy gambling prowess, I was able to generate enough play while losing very little dough to get $300 of it comped. Thus, I simply played money that I would have spent anyway.
- feel joyous that I only lost $100 "virtual dollars"
- crank out a blog update (this one)

I love the desert. Here's the view out my window right now:

Here's the plan...

I'm going to go down to the casino and use my freeplay to win a stake for the day. I might sample the buffet for breakfast as well.

After that, who knows? I might be drinklegambling if all goes well, or I might be shoe shopping if it doesn't. My Merrills are about worn out.


It's apparently possible to play 2000 hands of video poker without getting four of a kind (or a straight flush or a royal). How about that.

I'm staying close to base today because of the clanging in the pipes. You can figure the rest out for yourself.

I skipped breakfast and tried out the buffet for lunch. It was okay, but not worth burning up my entire $25 food allotment for. I have enough comp points to get something small for dinner.

In what has to be an astounding coincidence, there is an identical chocolate chip cookie to the one pictured up in my room. It is molecule for molecule the same. I can't imagine how that could happen.

The problem with gambling is when it goes bad, it also goes fast. And I've had a bad patch the last 24 hours. This leaves you with not much to do when you also feel kind of crummy.

Possibilities include sleeping (free, already done for this afternoon), fucking around on the internet (blogging also under this category), trying to desperately think of something fun you can and want to do for free (fail), watch TV (avoiding), or work on the blog with Jimmy Poon and wonder how this is vacation (in progress).

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Live Airstream Dispatches - Wed May 23


I'm not sure what this is all about - but I want to be part of it!

It's a beautiful morning in Vegas! I had a great chicken fried rice carbo-fueled sleep, and feel much better.

The Little Giant is kicking out hot Lavazza Rosso coffee into my hotel room glass, and the gas station creamers I stole are adding that 'finesse' that you look for in a cup of room camping coffee.

First stop - $20 free play! Let's see what the day brings.


And the day brought... a shit-storm of bad luck. I was doing so well, too.

Here's an example.

I'm playing blackjack. It's been choppy for two hours.

Mr. Mookfuckdick sits down and I know he is bad news immediately. Why? He buys in with a $50 bill.

EVERYONE knows that $50 bills are unluck. Except Mr. Mookfuckdick.

I've been struggling for two hours and this is my last push. I'm a little over even and I'm going to keep playing until I lose one hand. Whatever I have over my buy-in is my winnings.

My hand is a ten against the dealer's five. I double and get an eight. I'm sitting not too bad.

Mr. Mookfuckdick has fourteen against the dealers five. So he takes a card. WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOING?????

What card does he get? He gets a seven. This is the card that the dealer would have busted with. The twat player, that poor excuse for a fit of twatness, has 21.

The third player stands, like he should.

What's the next card out of the shoe?


Dealer has 21. I lose. I curse. I give Mookfuckdick the stink-eye. After two hours, I'm up $20, which disappears in three minutes at the bar on short pay Bonus Poker, while I'm waiting for a shitty well vodka.

The best thing that happened to me? Nothwithstanding a really premium piss-boner first thing, the best thing that happened was this bacon cheeseburger I ate 20 minutes ago.