RSS findIndex trimsentences createcard



createItems and other JavaScript code

Item Render Code

    New Posts

    Monday, November 9, 2020

    Don't gamble on the stupid last day

    Reposted from the classic 2013 Victory Trip.

    Mar 6, 2013 - Last day of the Victory Trip. We had one full day left and were out on the morning Air Fuckyou Canada flight the next day.

    And this is where it got scary, for me. We were soooo close to achieving an unprecedented $4K win on the trip - but I know how last days go. I've gotten burned more often than not playing just before heading out.

    Our early play wasn't a disaster - nothing I felt like photographing, a quad each at the Cal. Then over to Main Street.

    Mrs. Flusher has unbelievably not even got one scratchcard at MSS this trip. I beat her this day too, hitting Jacks for $62 and a two dollar scratcher.

    So I was kind of okay, and she was kind of down a bit, or more than a bit. Sort of slipping into the vat of bad luck, which was warm and beany, with a kind of crust around the rim. If this bad luck vat were a vat of awful chili, you wouldn't even want to eat it on a lousy hot dog.

    Don't worry, it'll make a modicum of sense later. But just a very small modicum.

    Things actually started out okay, we were feeling our way along. We grabbed some breakfast at the Cal coffee shop counter. Mrs. Flusher ordered the steak and eggs.

    I snickered.

    I know better. The New York 'steak' they serve for breakfast at places like this is the size, shape, texture, and flavor of the Dr. Toejam Bunion Sav-r Arch Support Footrest insoles I've had in my running shoes for the last 18 months.

    So I opt for a bespoke order of two eggs over hard, and access to the exclusive Breakfast Buffet. See for yourself the wonders of the 'trough' as we savvy gamblers call it.

    Market Street Cafe Breakfast Buffet
    Eggs, rice, things, stuff... ALL the trimmings!!!!

    Country Throw-up Gravy
    Keep that Country Throw-up Gravy Hot, boys!!! Flushie is HUNGRY!!!

    So I get my plate back to the counter and here is the Quad Queen's 'steak' and eggs.

    You call that medium rare??? HA!

    California Hotel and Casino Steak and Eggs

    Actually, it looked pretty damn good. The steak was a real steak. And it WAS cooked exactly medium rare. (The color looks shite in the picture because of jam on my piPhone 3.14 lens.) Lesson for next time at The Cal.

    Having broken fast, we broke fast for a cashback run.

    The Golden Nugget yielded $46 in cashback, and a breakfast comp for $20.

    And the Four Queens yielded about $45 dollars for me and $120 for the Quad Queen - enough to pump up her stake some. She hadn't picked up from this summer, and played pretty heavily this trip so that's why it was so high.

    Then it was over to The D to gaze at their fancy carpeting, which made me pass out a little. I kind of want this endless coin extravaganza floorware in my house so I can be dizzy all day long. Wheeeeee!

    The D Casino Carpet

    Oddly, we were hungry for a snack, but planned a decent dinner at the Pasta Pirate, so we opted for an American Coney Island Dog Hotdog Frankfurter thingy. This outlet seems to be kind of hyped up, and it is, I guess, a big thing in the D - as in Deee-troit.

    I can't imagine why. I've made three times better dogs using those Pillar's Pound O' Boar Dicks you get in the ziplock bag packaging from Costco.

    It was tasty I guess but they super skimped on the chili and the cheese. Does this dog look like it is worth over five bucks??

    American Coney Chili Dog

    American Coney Chili Vat
    The Vat O'Chili attendant backed away from being photographed with this appetizing hot mess.

    American Coney
    I'd rather watch politics than see behind the counter at American Coney Island Dog Hotdog Franks again

    We played away upstairs at the D trying this and that. I had a little bit of luck with a Wheel of Meat machine, but nothing much else.

    It looked like the day was going to be 'try to break even or at least not lose your shirt'. I'd run out of underwear for the trip three days previously - I could hardly stand to lose a shirt as well!

    Finally, at the Fremont, the Quad Queen started to hit a few... and I started to go into the dumper with $20 after $20 yielding nothing after nothing.

    Video Poker Upright Quad Kings

    There were interludes of blogging and resting, packing and fretting... and in our pre-dinner play, we hit Main St. Station again, and the bar there.

    This bar is commonly known by the name the Boar's Head bar but it really isn't named that.

    I chatted with Kellie about it and she came up with the idea of having a contest to officially name the bar. I think this is a great idea and Boyd should run with it.

    Boar's Head Bar

    Meanwhile, I lost about $100 chasing Boner Deluxe quads (and not catching any) at the Not the Boar's Head Bar. I was down a couple hundred and getting worried.

    We headed to the Pasta Pirate for their surfing turf special. Frankly, I don't know how those tail-less lobsters are going to do any surfing.

    Pasta Pirate

    We had one more bash at the Cal and I ramped from quarters to fifty cents. And I hit a quad for $62. I breathed a sigh of relief - I had a nice stake to build from with about $85 in the machine.

    Well, that machine dove straight into the ground. I literally couldn't win a thing. My mind was screaming CHANGE MACHINES - NOW!!! and my other mind was thinking 'no, I'm going to beat you, you sumbitch'. In two minutes it was gone.

    We played some Treasure Chest and the Quad Queen got a couple to improve her situation.

    And, she simply quit. She'd had enough.

    Meanwhile, I was thinking... I need a Royal and I need it now. I got on a run on quarter Treasure Chest, pounding it for an hour but eventually going out.

    And then I kind of went stupid.

    $100 in dollars. Gone.

    $40 in a slot. Gone.

    Before I knew it I was way deeper than I wanted to go.

    I did win a bit on a slot, and actually played for half an hour on it, but put it all back going for a big win... stupid fucking last day.



    Trip over.

    Bright side, we won!

    Dark side, we could have won more.

    Got up the next day and finished packing, checking flights, and all that interminable crap it takes to get out the door. Headed to the Nugget and ate breakfast. The single, most annoying server known to the Western World told me no less than three times that I would have to pay the difference between the cost of breakfast and the comp. And that it could be paid at...

    ...wait for it...

    ...The Cashier!!!!

    Back at the Cal... we played a 20 or two each, and the Quad Queen got one last quad... fittingly, queens.

    Video Poker at the Cal

     I took my bags down early and went at that slot again. It had really played a lot on $40.

    Put $40 in. Gone in 2 minutes.

    Fuck it. Put $100 in.

    Played. Played. Down... down....

    Where was my big, blog-busting earth shattering, trip making, comeback win????

    Well, I did hit for $240, and cashed out a $100 profit. So that felt good.

    Slot Win

    And at the airport, we did indeed play again, and unusually, I didn't hit a quad like I have done so many trips before.

    The Quad Queen got the last one, fives, on some horrible short pay high volatility machine. So between us, we actually managed to make back, oh $60 or so.

    McCarran Airport Slots Video Poker

    The Last Day Stats (including the last morning)

    Royal Flusher - lost $575 on the last day and made $20 the next morning
    Quad Queen - lost $365 on the last day and made $40 the next morning

    Royal Flusher on the trip - Up $2,280
    Quad Queen on the trip - Up $745

    Combined, up $3,025.

    That looks like the Victory Trip to me. It covers all our out-of-pocket expenses. So this 16 day extravaganza cost us exactly nothing.

    But wait! There's more!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The comps...

    Adding all our comps up, it comes to a value of $2,264 in room nights, meal comps, free play and cashback.

    And it doesn't include the priceless memories of our 44th trip, and our luckiest and best trip ever.



    After an uneventful flight home Monday, I'm back to the grommet line at Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer, cranking out those little rubber devils.

    Never - EVER - underestimate the value of this... After all, grommets are the small round rubbery things that keep things from rubbing up against other things in some of your manufactured items.

    Look around you from time to time. Because, when you see a grommet - you can see the world.

    Royal Flusher

    Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer

    Sunday, November 8, 2020

    The Singular Event

    Reposted from the classic 2013 Victory Trip.

    Mar 3, 2013 - There are some important singular events that occur here in the City of Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas.

    I'm not talking about American Idol either.

    There are those key moments that make or break a session, or a day. Like the other day on that Frying Sevens machine, I was either going to be down $400 on the day, or down just $100.

    I'll get to a couple of those later in the day. But first, to set the scene, we're at the Friendly The Cal Hotel and Casino aka California.

    With just two days to go, and up (for us) a bundle, we're thinking 'don't blow it!'. This in itself is probably a recipe for disaster because scared money usually doesn't win.

    We did some of our usual morning futzing around, trying this and that. I did okay, hitting my first straight flush of the trip (!) and hitting a quad on Bonus, then playing down, putting another twenty in and hitting deuces on Double Double for $100 to keep me in it.

    California Hotel and Casino Straight Flush

    Quad Deuces
    I wandered over to some other machines, trying to avoid a long drain session on any one machine. You know, just trying to surf the tops of the waves of good fortune...

    Tried some Super Duper Aces machine and hit a quad for $62.50, okay that was nice, hit the Deal button and got another. Yes Back to Back quads. I didn't bother with a pic of the first one. One of these times I need to try that Shockwave poker where two quads within 10 hands pays 4000 credits...

    Video Poker Four Deuces
    It feels weird not to be going hard at it, pushing denominations up and chasing.

    We had a new set of monthly free play at the Four Queens so we headed over to play that at the bar. The Mikes took great care of us as usual, and things (for some of us) got a bit sloppy.

    The Quad Queen actually went over ahead of me while I blogged and showered and built a few lucky inukshuks in the room out of a case of toilet paper rolls I bagged off the maid's cart when she wasn't looking. A desperate scared gambler does what he has to does, right?

    Anyway... the quarter progressive royals were up there and QQ was chasing that spade royal again. She played a solid 2 1/2 hours - actually, the full length of the Flyers/Sens game. She racked up 250 points (its 6 hands a point if I recall correctly) so 1,500 hands. And cashed out up $40.

    Four Queens Slots

    Mikes Bar at the Four Queens
    I enjoyed my time at the bar also, ending up $80 on my $80 freeplay. Hit a few quads, nothing noteworthy.

    Did you know that the Four Queens proudly and firmly serves delicious, refreshing Red Dicks Beer?

    Four Queens Palace Bar
    No, I have not tried one. But I have heard that some have 'experimented' with it in college. I just can't imagine shouting out "Gimme a pint of your Red Dicks, Mike!" Yikes.

    One of the Mikes came over to me at one point and said I should go and give an Official Royal Flusher Business card to 'the lady over there'. Apparently she reads the blog and asked them if I really existed, or if I was just a figment of Chippy, my pretty smart DaneHuaHua's imagination.

    He pointed me out and then let me know. So I got to go over and meet a very nice woman who favors Deuces (which for some reason I have stopped playing the last few trips). She found the blog through vpFREE and like any savvy gambler, reads it faithfully.

    We had a nice chat. It's always great to know that all the little characters and words I string together on this niPad bring some enjoyment to people. Sadly, I forgot to ask her if she'd thought I would look like Victor Mature or not.

    We wandered over to the El Cortez - something was going to be going on in the street, which was blocked off. And I finally saw the first first-hand of Zappos' presence downtown, which is going to be huge for the area.

    Zappos Las Vegas
    In fact, the block between the canopy and the ElCo is now pretty much completely rebuilt with a bunch of new establishments like the Commonwealth Bar, a pool and bar place, and a brand new pizza place (RCP).

    To commemorate this regentrification, the El Cortez has proudly repainted their parking garage in Desert Hallucination Puque Moderne. Seriously. What the fuck are they thinking?

    El Cortez Las Vegas
    It looks like World War Two dazzle paint. Maybe that's good, because if the garage paintjob were camouflaged, maybe nobody would see it.

    Video Poker at El Cortez

    We played only $20 each at the ElCo because it was time to steer Mrs. F towards some food. I was hungry too, so it was wonderful Le Thai takeout for me, and a Cobb Salad from the 'Queens for her.

    Le Thai

    Waiting for the salad was painful because of a display of bad parenting that was cringeworthy. It culminated with Daddy arriving on the scene and bellowing from the casino up the half flight of stairs to Magnolia's at approximately 106 dB with a power of 200 watts (PMP, not RMS) the phrase that lets people know you are around and you are the boss: "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU DOING????!!!!!"

    I now wish to purge all that from my memory.

    We carted our food to the Very Very end of the Very Very long hallway (it's 113 yards, I paced it out) into our stinkyroom and ate. And one of us crashed for two solid hours while I blogged away. (Not naming names of who was sluiced here. That would not be gentlemanly.)

    Mrs. F. awoke and... she's kind of had it. She just wanted to rest up, watch trash TV and not gamble anymore. Huh????

    So be it. I had a double, and poured a double traveller, and went down to play conservatively and see what I could do. I decided on Main St. Station.

    And it went so well! I put $20 in quarter Bonus, played for a while, got a quad, played for a while, went to 50 cents, lost it. I put another $20 in, played for a while, got a quad on my Lazarus hand, got to 50 cents, got a quad, and cashed out $100.

    Main Street Station Video Poker

    Went to the Boar's Head Bar (to infamous Seat #1, avoiding Seat #2), ordered a vodka/cran and lost a $20. And then I lost another $20. I moved to another machine and got another quad and played along. It was great. I was just relaxed, playing nicely, not losing much if anything, getting the quads... no stress w or worry or chasing.

    I decided (I know what you are going to think, faithful readers...), yes I decided (ducks) to try Black. Jack. Again.

    I only bought in for $20 okay? About $500 lost in blackjack is enough for one trip.

    Well, I lucked into a great table, with a great pit boss (Brenda) and a great dealer (Barry) and a really fun group who put up with such hijinx as me trying to cut the double decks with a Gordie Howe hockey card.

    At one point, I hit a singular event. Bet a risky $10 (risky, when you are under-bankrolled) and had a double opportunity. Dealer had a bust card and the way it ended up, the only way I could win was to have an Ace undercard. And I did. So if I'd lost the hand, I'd have only $15 which could go in minutes. Win it and I'd have $55. That's quite a difference, and that one hand cemented my eventual win. I know its small potatoes but it illustrates the point.

    I played for about two hours on that $20, had a bunch of Absoluts, and cashed out $50. And I'm up on the day some. A little, not a lot, but its nice to not be down $600 like the day before.

    Time to cash in my scratch cards - three of 'em, two bucks each. I got my six bucks and thought, hmm, maybe I'll just play a single hand on dollar VP. Hey, I got a quad on dollar Boner Deluxe on my first hand once, I could do this. It could happen... sure it could. And grommets might fly out my ass.

    I turned around and spied a lonely bank of dollar Double Double Bonus machines - sure why not. Pumped my five bucks in, hit deal. Couple of twos. No dinger. Okay, fine, hold the twos, in my mind I'm already on my way to the room to collect Mrs. F for some dinner. Hit Draw.

    One Hand Four Deuces
    I said curse words and smiled and grommets poured out of my ass. $400 quad on one $5 bill. And there's the second singular event of the day. One hand turned my marginally okay day into a fantastic one.

    We ate at the coffee shop, in the back, near the mysterious reserved booth which always has a Frank Cannon era 'touch tone' handset nearby, for taking mysterious calls. I figure that booth is reserved for gangsters. Either gangsters or corporate bosses.

    Market Street Cafe Phone Booth
    The Stats

    Royal Flusher, up on the day $470 (!!!!!), up on the trip $2,835.

    Quad Queen, down on the day (only) $115, up on the trip $1,070.

    Combined, just pushing 4K, up on the trip $3,905.

    We really need a couple of Royals tomorrow to push this thing over the top and cement the Victory Trip.

    Saturday, November 7, 2020

    Finish Strong or Finish Long - The Home Stretch

    Reposted from the classic 2013 Victory Trip.

    Mar 2, 2013 - I'm not sure what the title means but we're in the home stretch now on the Victory Trip. It's been two solid weeks of button-pounding jaw-dropping bra-hefting eye-searing pant-pooping video poker action and so far, we are on track to have the best trip ever, in terms of the financials. In terms of the vacation, it's by far the B.T.E.

    There are two factors here - we're tiring and our focus and desire is slipping. We don't have the raw hunger we had two weeks ago. And secondly, there's the big Wheel of Fortune that seems to guide our lives - the ups and downs of gambling...

    There will (generally) be ups and there will (generally) be downs. To a degree, where you are in the cycle when you get off the ride has a big say in how you end up.

    We're up a chunk now but we could easily have a couple or three bad days and play it all back before we get a chance at the upside again. Because Air Fuckyou Canada does not have keno or any other gambling on board - unless gambling with your life counts.

    So where are we today?... It's check out day at both T.I. and the Mirage. Mrs. Flusher headed over after another night that started with her falling asleep and then having the crap scared out of her when the Possessed TV started raising up and down on its own.

    She unplugged it this time and found a nest of wires right under the bed. We are suspicious that it is actual bed pressure on the wires making it do this. One can only wonder what the TV up and down scenario is when some hipster club-goers with their light sticks and Mirage pacifiers and nouveau chic reissue bell bottoms and $900 piPhone 3.14s start making humpity hump in Lucky Suite Ee-o Eleven.

    Anyway, its a time to stay focused on the gambling and not get laissez-faire or any other kind of faire for that matter, about the gambling results, games, or denominations. (INSERT FORESHADOWING HERE).

    And so it was that we took in some civilized morning play in the heavily scented environs of the T.I. casino.

    T.I. seems to have gone overboard with the scent in the air - its so thick you can practically taste it and it feels heavy in my lungs to the point that I may have to give up cigars and/or consider whether I really want to play in that environment. I will be 'rapping' with the T.I. 'brass' about this, via a customer feedback spam email I got upon checkout. I'm sure they will want to know what the R.F.W. is on this score.

    Where was I? And so it was that we took in some civilized blah blah blah on 50 cent Bonus Poker. I set the stage for a successful day with a quad, and QQ followed up with a straight flush (of which I still have naught on this trip - very unsavvy!).

    T.I. Video Poker

    Side by Side Video Poker Winners

    The T.I. room offer came with coupons for, amongst other things, a two for $12 breakfast thingy - 3 eggs and accoutrements per breakfast. That's half a dozen eggs for only $12!!!! We opted to sit outside on one of the nicest mornings we've seen so far this trip. It really was pleasant. The fact that there were no distractions, no music blaring, no slot machines yelling at us or dinging incessantly made it as idyllic as half a dozen Grade A Large cackleberries can be.

    T.I. Pool

    T.I. Pool Breakfast

    Would you believe I whipped my pants off and took a quick plunge in the still, unoccupied pool?

    Good. Because I didn't. But I wanted to.

    Instead, I took a plunge on a $5 slot. Behold!
    $5 Slot Play

     Yes, made $150. Everything was going to be as perfect and calm and soothing as that poolside breakfast (with potato pellets).

    I checked with the slot club staff regarding taking any meals off my bill - not that there were many. They gave me some interesting information. They wanted to see 3700 points a day to cover the room comp. I had something like 3200 total. On the video poker I played most of, its $15 a point - but on slots its $2.50 a point.

    Long story short, they didn't cover any additional food but I bet a host would have, based on our $18,000 in coin-in (over two days). That's fairly strong play. Having said that, we won at T. I. And, there was only about $40 in food charges anyway.

    I didn't argue and we got the car out of the T.I. car park, cranked up the Mexican Polka station, and hit the road - about 45 yards to the Mirage car park.

    Sadly, we didn't hear the elusive yet catchy 'Beep Beep Beep' song.

    Okay, it's as tiring to write this as do it - go to Penthouse, get stuff, check out, haul shit downstairs, out to car, drive to gas station, fill car, hope to hear elusive, catchy 'Beep Beep Beep' song, don't, drop bags at Cal, haul ass to Four Queens, dump the car, poach wifi and upload pics, haul ass (on feet) back to Cal, up to stinky room at the very, very end of the very, very long hallway.

    Make a couple of strong drinks, down them, make a couple more, and hit the dollar Treasure Chest in search of quads.

    I had a great run:
    Treasure Chest Video Poker

    ...but the Quad Queen had a terrible time. In fact, she not only did not find the little Hello Kitty talisman to be lucky, she started to think it was bringing a curse on her. And she sullied the poor plastic Hello Kitty thing, dumping her in the gambling equivalent of the gutter.

    Treasure Chest Video Poker

     (Don't worry, I rescued Goodbye Abandoned Kitty.)

    I'd run out of traveler, so I ordered a Maker's from the very saucy Brazilian cocktail waitress. She's so saucy that I overheard some guy chatting her up who claimed to be from South America just so he could pretend they had something in common.

    He told her his name was Rio Dinero. I may adopt that as my new gambling nom-de-plume. Beep beep beep!

    Lunch, Cal coffee shop. No food p0rn here folks. Chicken Adobo which I've been wanting to try. 'Adobo' means 'cooked in salt brine for 9 hours'. QQ faired better with the 'Cheeseburger de Luxe'.

    Chicken Adobo

    Market Street Cafe Cheeseburger

     Back to the gambling - I'd played an hour on $20 on those dollar T.C. machines, but the QQ had lost $200. We kicked around, I won $80 playing blackjack (I know, shocking!), and the QQ did KKKK. OK!!

    We took a rest and a nap and this is where it started to go dodgy.

    Played some stuff, didn't get much was down $160 or so.

    Did $100 in the couples Wheel of Meat machine at $10 a spin. We got basically nothing.
    I put $40 in to the loose Flaming Red Hot Frying Sevens machine... lost it.

    The Hand of Stupid reached into my wallet, pulled out $100 and put THAT into the Flaming Red Hot Frying Sevens machine. And played it down to about $10 so... I was almost down $400 on the day, just like that. Stupid dollar machines!
    7 7 7 Flaming Sevens

     Oh wait. 777 for $300? Yes please!!!! Just like that, the difference between being down $100 and being down $400. It was like starting all over again. This time I'd be careful right?


    We both felt kind of out of the groove and Mrs. F couldn't get it going and finally just bailed, going to the room.

    I thought she was down quite a bit and thought I'd have to get it back. Yeah...

    I relaxed with a long session of blackjack, going from $100 up to about $230. Not bad. Too bad I cashed out at $40. This went into some machine.

    And so did another $100, playing Double Double Bonus at 50 cents a hand. I did hit a quad so upped it to a dollar a hand. And lost it all back.

    So I took another hundred. You know, I really wanted to try to win some really big wins this trip - so I chose this moment above all other moments to play it on $2 double double - $10 a hand.

    Needless to say, it all went away and fast. No big win. No big hand. I went up to the room feeling like shite.

    If I kept this up, and Mrs. F. had bad luck like she'd had today, for the next two days.... we could blow through all our winnings.

    I thought about this thoroughly and carefully, reflected on it all - for 3 to 4 minutes. And came to the conclusion that I was so tired after two weeks that I kind of got tired of playing. And thought Win Big or Lose but do it fast.


    This is a recipe for disaster, in my case a $600 disaster and turning a winning day into a loser. Will I never learn?!

    We had a quick dinner, again in the coffee shop on points. I had a grilled cheese, and QQ opted for.... another cheeseburger. Meanwhile, our room stinks even worse and is still at the very, very end of a very, very long hallway. We think its either spilled milk or, in QQs opinion, baby vomit.

    I say there isn't much difference.

    Royal Flusher down $600 on the day. up $2365 on the trip.
    Quad Queen down (only) $210 on the day, $955 on the trip.
    Combined, up $3,320 on the trip.

    Can we hang on for a couple more days????

    Trip Reports

    More Trip Reports