Sunday, September 28, 2014

I Spleen Burgers





Day 6 - Tuesday July 22, 2014

In terms of monetary results, yesterday was just a bad day. In spite of all the quads, I got asskicked, asskicked, asskicked all day long, losing almost $1000. This is not acceptable. So, I decided I’d better take it easy or I was going to have a blow-out trip.

See, here’s the thing, later in the trip, I had three nights booked at the Four Queens where I aimed to do about $25,000 coin in on dollar Jacks or Better. I had $300 free play to get me started, but if things went south, I could get eaten alive at that game.

I had the Quad Queen’s $300 free play as well, which I hoped to use, but only if I was winning, and only if I could be assured of having deep enough pockets at the time to put $8K to $10K on her card that day, in addition to the $8K on my card.

When I got to Mandalay Bay for the 3 days prior to that, I could slow play - because I don’t care (yet) about a future relationship with them. I was very happy to get an offer, but I’ve never stayed there. So I had that in my back pocket… if needs must, I could not give them a dime and conserve my budget. Yes, that would be a shitload of vacation fun, now wouldn’t it.

The other thing about it was that I was low on ready cash - I’d taken the marker at Main Street but I didn’t have any credit at any Strip location. If I had to get more, it wouldn’t be the walk of shame, it would be the drive of shame.

I wasn’t sure I could take the honking, thrown garbage, and water balloons that the good townspeople of Las Vegas would throw. You think I’m kidding? These people can smell blood in the water from three Deuce stops away.

So, I resolved that for today I’d play only single line quarter bonus poker and just take my time.

We all got up a bit late, due to the late night with Penn and Teller. I got my coffee in the casino and ordered two extras for Kenny, should he even think about going on another Luxury Coffee Ice Swan rant.

We all met up and decided to take a stroll to try to find something for breakfast. That’s when the miracle occurred.

I walked out of the Wynn casino up $20.

We wandered through the Venetian, and to my nose, they have lighted up on the perfume. Either that or my nose is going deaf.

We found a place that didn’t look very breakfasty, but did insist that they served breakfast - I Spleen Burgers. Rather odd to name your restaurant after an internal organ, but there you are - the anatomical madness that is Fabulous Las Vegas.

The coffee was excellent, and breakfast was really good. Instead of the usual flat spicy sausage patties, they had thicker, more meaty flat spicy sausage patties. I fed them to my spleen.

We took a wander around the Venetian and I reveled in the fact that I was up on the day, and that I was wandering around and therefore not losing money gambling. Ultimately, though, EnWynn awaited. And for Kenny, this meant another stretch behind his mirrored sunglasses at what he called the ‘titty pool’.

I made him promise to text me if there was anything outstanding going on. The secret code phrase we agreed on was ‘floatation devices’.

LuLU was anxious to play some more video poker because this was her last day in Vegas. After that, Kenny and I would be left to our own devices. The only ground rules stipulated were that we were not to engage in any strip club or hooker activity until after she was out of the city. This seemed fair to me, even generous.

We found some likely looking machines over at Wynn and I ordered a coffee and Jameson’s. I thought that I’d been so good, and lost so much, that a heartstarter might change my luck.

Indeed it did - I was dealt Aces on Bonus Poker. That was more like it. I was up $100 on the day, which was just astonishing.

We had a good play and chatted about this and that and shared various observations about Kenny - he still wasn’t feeling himself, which was a little troubling.

We all regrouped at Encore and decided to go on a major walkabout, since it was only about 114 degrees out with 4 percent humidity.

“It’s 114 out and 4 percent humidity out, but It’s okay, you won’t feel it like you would at home...” I reassured my earnest, if tenderfoot Vegas companions, “it’s a dry humidity.”

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