Friday, November 14, 2014

Boner Deluxe!





Day 2 October 26, 2014 - part 2

Out my five $10 Keno tickets (40 cents a game for the big spender), I won four dollars. This rate of return is similar to the returns I've gotten in the Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer employee stock plan.

Another 0% Keno Ticket!
The Keno Queen, on the other hand, harvested a handsome $28 return on her $50 keno investment. I gave her my four bucks and told her to shut up and deal. She'd out keno'd me again, but I didn't have to have salt rubbed into the wound with her stellar 56% return rate.
Downstairs at the Cal we noticed some big changes - the cage was empty and was being walled off, actually. And the goofy Polly Parrot in Long John Silver costume had walked the plank at the Pasta Pirate restaurant, which was closed.

The plan (I later ascertained) is to open an asian themed noodle shop. Something fairly high end. I'm not sure how high end a noodle can get, but there you are.

They had also opened a satellite cage down by the craps tables and moved the main cage to a broom closet upstairs.

I wasn't enjoying losing, but the Quad Queen insisted that we needed to keep at it, play more dollars, get through the troughs. We tried some dollar Bonus Poker but that didn't work well for me. QQ's lasted a bit longer though.

I decided to give Boner Deluxe some play. I love this game because every quad pays 400 credits - no kickers, no fucking around, no worrying about getting Aces versus eights or something. Get a quad, get 400 bucks.

I talked up a great game about how you could easily get 3 quads in five minutes or how you could easily get on a quad run, and if the quads were hitting it didn't matter if it was short pay (which it was, 8/6 instead of 9/6, but I'm not going to go running to the Fremont every time I have a Boner Deluxe whim, and I didn't plan to play it for long...).

I played a bit and the machine seemed cold, dropping me down to $25. But then it started to get lots of dingers, lots of winning hands, full houses, and so on and next thing I knew I was up to $200. It dropped down a bit and then I nailed a quad for $400.

"I'm on my way, baby!" I said.

I'll let the pictures tell the tale.

Boner Deluxe Quad #1 up to $570
Boner Deluxe Quad #2 up to $950
Boner Deluxe Quad #3 up to $1310
Boner Deluxe Quad #4 up to $1690
 Oh hell yeah!!!!!!!!! Now we are talking some serious dough!!!

The play was exhilarating. It was all about riding the wave, trying to get the next quad without blowing out too much profit, making sure you didn't play it all back, wondering whether to switch to $2, wondering whether to dance with the dollar bitch that you brought to the Boner dance. I felt confident that I'd maxed the run out. The whole thing took only about 15 minutes.

Frighteningly, I'd done more winning in that fifteen minutes then I'd done in my entire previous 12 day trip. I was starting to feel like I was shaking off the bad vibe and bad luck of that horrendous outing.

Hell, I thought I might even try out the Cameron Powershod G16, I was so full of confidence.

The QQ had lost a few hundred but it was okay, considering the big score I'd taken down.

I took some money up to the safe, not wanting to risk a wallet fumble, or a budget blowback.

We tried some dollar jacks in the alcove and I couldn't get it going, but the Queen parlayed a $5 bill into about half an hour's play.

Meanwhile, I lost a couple of hundred. Maybe three hundred. Time for a change of venue - over to Main Street Station for some triple play.

We both parlayed up to 5 play (you can adapt the Strict Rules of Parlay to multiplay, starting at 3-play, then moving to 5-play and then 10-play, which is a gas.)

The Multi-Queen worked up to 10-play and was gunning for a dealt quad on it. It was something she really wanted to achieve. She played on, getting as high as 2000 credits and raking in the scratch cards, but ended up cashing out at 800 when the machine took a powder. Stupid machine! There was definitely unfinished business there.

And sadly, I'd lost my shirt at it. Like hundreds.

We had the buffet for dinner and I amused my bouche by making some little Flusher tacos, and enjoying some pizza that had come fresh right out of the oven.

But what picture is there??? That cucumber Namasu salad that I love.

Namasu salad. It deserves it's own picture.
The day was winding down and we'd had a great time revisiting our favorite machines and places, seeing familiar faces (mostly cocktail servers), and getting scratch cards. What hadn't we done yet?

"Dollar Treasure Chest at the Cal!" we both cried in unison.
"I really, really want to get a royal on one of these old vintage machines, before they are gone." I wasn't just being poetic, they don't make the coin hopper parts for these babies anymore.

I went off to break a hundy (you do NOT want to put a $100 bill into a Treasure Chest coin-dropper, believe me. Because coins.)

When I got back, the Quad Queen had that look... and sure enough, she had four to a Royal on her screen. She'd waited for me to bring back my Flusher-power.

All I can say is, the eight of clubs can suck it. No royal.

Meanwhile, starting with a $20 bill, I saddled up the machine at the bottom of the escalator. And... I lost it.

So, I put in... another $20 bill! And I played on that for a bit. And then I was dealt three to a Royal. The Quad Queen happened to look on when I hit deal and those two other beautiful spades showed up to give me my second Royal Flush of the trip, this time for $4000.

Royal Flusher Rides Again!
Now, when I say $4000, I really mean $2800 because they chop that annoying 30% off for tax. I figure I'll get it back based on the big losses on two trips this year though. Still, I won't count it in the tallies.

Man, what a trip it was already! I'd now shattered the bad luck hangover from the summer and nailed my third ever dollar Royal. (You may recall that I'd had an 18 year dollar Royal drought, breaking it earlier this year at the Smug Nugget.)

It took about 40 minutes to get paid, but I tipped $20 anyway, not wanting to screw with karma.

It had been a really, really fun day. The Quad Queen had managed an amazing $15,000 in coin-in, and I was at about $10K. Our Deal/Draw fingers sore but satisfied, we turned in, but not before the obligatory money shot.


What was amazing to me was that I had apparently lost enough to cover all the Boner Deluxe winnings - my day's win was exactly the amount I took out of the Royal. And in spite of all the quads, the Queen was down over $1000. I guess that's what $15K in coin in will do to you. And, that's gambling!

Royal Flusher: Day +$2800 Trip +3650
Quad Queen: Day -$1040 (WHAT?!) Trip -700

Combined Trip: +$2950

By the way, someone asked why the Quad Queen's pics are at an angle - it's because I just lean over to take them, and also, so I can tell they aren't mine later on. Now you know! (Also, I'm lazy.)




















4 comments:

  1. Spectacular! Congrats on the Dollar Royal and otherwise super savvy day Flusher!

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  2. Flusher! Great score w/the 2nd Royal! Now you can DEFINITELY afford the DuPar's crack cakes and even buy your way to the front of the line! You'll probably opt for Market St. Cafe again though, because FREE ;)

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  3. Congratulations on your dollar royal, the drought is turning into a flood, great report as ever, been reading as we pack for our trip to Vegas, hope I can catch one of those too. Bring on the next episode

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  4. I predict a Quad Queen Royal coming up fairly sharpish.
    Congrats on the luck Flusher, I love these reports of yours.

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