Crushing End of Days -or- How I Met Vital Vegas

Day 10 Monday Nov 3, 2014 - part 4

Blatant Vital Vegas plug.

Mrs. Flusher had registered for her exciting Turkey Trot Tournament of Slots at the Nugget, so that was some free excitement coming our way.

The do-over day designed to derail the dollar debacle day we endured was a dud. It will be tough to return to SLS again, given that our first visit there resulted in a combined $700 dumping, with no quads at all between us.

And yet, I really liked the place. There were so many design things that I found appealing, lots of interesting restaurants to try, and full pay video poker to boot. They are having growing pains, which has resulted in the (temporary they say) closing of the buffet, and reduced hours in other restaurants, so here's hoping they can make a go of it.

I had gone through $1500 of dollar play with one quad (dealt to me!) and that is it.

Fortunately we had some social plans for the evening, meeting up with Jeff and Janis at Chicago Brewing Company for some beers and food.

And, I was looking forward to meeting Scott Roeben, who is the purveyor of one of the finest websites about Vegas, VitalVegas,com (home of Essential Las Vegas News, Deals, Tips and WTF). If you like my sense of humor, you'll love Vital Vegas as well. And if you don't like my sense of humor, there's still a great chance you'll love Vital Vegas.

We got there ahead of everybody, which was potentially the kiss of death, because who would pay for a beer in Chicago Brewing Company and not play video poker? Certainly not us. Because degenerate.

We hit up the 50 cent Double Double Bonus. I remember losing another hundred. On the second hundred I did manage to get a four of a kind.

The Quad Queen had better luck hitting one to get her started, parlaying to dollars, and getting another one.

Wisely she cashed the ticket and started again at 50 cents and then was dealt Deuces (with the kicker!!!!) for $400. Some very savvy button-pushing on her part.

Jeff and Janis arrived, saving me from further defeat, and we managed to grab some of the armchair and couch seating.

After recapping our respective days and quaffing (a fancy word for 'drinking') some very good beer, I spotted a familiar face wandering through the place. The familiar face (familiar from his postings on the internet) was fortunately attached to a head, and that head was attached to an unfamiliar neck and body.

I went over to him.

"You're Vital Vegas!" I said. "Come on over and sit down and have a beer. Jeff, Janis, this is Vital Vegas!"

For some reason, though, he preferred to be called Scott.

We ordered some pizzas and more beer and snarfed pizza, drank beer, and gabbed. I explained to Scott how the day had gone, and got Jeff and Janis caught up with our unfortunate SLS fail.

"You know," I said, "this is my single worst day of gambling I've ever had in Vegas in 52 trips."

"You have a serious problem," he said.

"I have to agree. My problem is I'm out of money to gamble."

We had a really great time swapping gambling stories, talking about blog things a bit, and just laughing a lot, something I really needed, given the situation. It gave me some perspective and I was reminded of my own adage - the worse things get, the more horrible the events, the better reading entertainment it makes.

I picked up the tab using some of the many comp dollars I had put together at the Four Queens, and put a couple of decent cigars on the tab as well - a Cohiba and a Monte Cristo. These are both names I've heard of, so I was pretty sure they would be a good smoke, although in retrospect, I think one of them might have been the name of a car my father used to drive, so maybe its a dud. One thing was for sure, these cigars were well endowed, judging by the fancy hard plastic condoms they ship in.

When the evening wrapped up, I took stock. I had a lone hundred dollar bill and a $50 Four Queens ticket. That is what was left of my $2000 stake for the day. I felt absolutely sick about things. I never intended to play so much money. I never expected that dollar play could go so badly. Jeff had taught me that it could be much worse.

At the Nugget, we gave the triple play Bonus Poker a last-gasp try.

"I wish I could be just dealt a winning hand, like four Aces, and then I'd have $300 and then I could just cash out and it would be so bad," I said.

A few hands later, oddly, I was indeed dealt a quad - four deuces.

I cashed out of that session a winner, up $100 - which was huge, huge, huge. I'd lost every other session all day long.

We decided to visit our friends in the sloping hallway. Those poor machines don't get any love at all. It's no wonder they coughed up a Royal so readily.

Poor Disrespected Sloping Hallway Machines!!!

The Quad Queen did okay, I didn't get anything going.

To end the day, we returned to the scene of the crime. I put my $50 into the dollar jacks, and then said screw it, and went all in, putting my last $100 in as well.

"I think I need to have the experience of losing $2000 in one day," I said.

"And why's that?"

"To see what it's like?"

"And....?"

"So as to not ever repeat it," I said, in the smallest font size my voice could muster.

I Lazarused a few times, poking along, and then I had a change of attitude. Fuck it, I thought. I'm going to play this machine like I'm on a winning streak. I'm going to play it like I own it. Aggro. Fast.

And by God, I worked my way all the way back up to $200. Maybe the 'I'll just coast' mentality changed how I played and cost me bigtime. No more.

The end result?

I lost all my money, but it took a lot longer. Therefore, I had more fun?

Right.

I gave myself a pep talk. I was still up $3000 on the trip. I could still have winning days. I could maybe win my money back. I just had to trust the math.

Royal Flusher Way - putting the laughter back in slaughter!

Royal Flusher: Day -$2000 Trip +$3050
Quad Queen: Day -$970 Trip -$2950

Combined: +$100
Royals Flush: Six (!!!!!!)