Thursday, November 13, 2014

Mahi Mahi or Mahi Mahi?







Day 2 October 26, 2014

I lied about going to bed at 7:00pm in Las Vegas on a Saturday Night.

It was a little bit before 7:00pm. Apparently, I am not a 'baller', as the bottle service crowd might put it. A 7:00pm bedtime is not exactly epic. It is geriatric.

I am not proud of this.

However... how many of you ballers out there wake up at 1:00am ready to party?!!!! That's what I did. 

However... I went back to sleep. Until about 4:43 in the blessed am.

We got up, ready to hit the casino, ready to see my favorite server Judy and her lovely dishwater coffee.

"Are you going to take your new camera?..." asked the Quad Queen.

I snapped and shot back at her, "NO."

Jimmy Poon feels that my photography, particularly for the burgeoning 'foodie' segment of the readership, is lacking.

"Royal," he said a couple days before my trip, "your photography is lacking."

"Uh huh."

"That's why I got you this!"

Jimmy Poon pushed a paper bag across the lunch room table. Here we go again, I thought.

"What's in the bag, Jimmy Poon?"

"Open it."

And open it, I did. And inside was a marvel of technology, one of the most advanced in the semi-pro serious amateur super-pocket sub-DLSR market...

a brand new, knock-off photographic instrument.

It fit in my hand, sort of, weighing about half a pound, and was festooned with knobs, dials, buttons, switches, markings, indicators, lights and so on.

"Jimmy... wow!" I said.

"It's a Cameron Powershod G16. I got it from the Koreans. It fell off truck, if you know what I mean."
Looks nice, just try to figure it out!
Lots of spinny things on the Powershod G16.
You may recall that the crafty Koreans along with the pesky Belgians had purchased Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer fairly recently. One upside was the Korean access to cheap electronics from the Pacific Rim. And, of course, the Belgians' access to waffles with oversized holes in them.

"Canon makes an excellent camera, Jimmy Poon! Thanks!"

"Not Canon. Cameron. You think I'm made of money? The blog moneytization has not gone all that well, Royal, we have limited funds, and you need to step up your game. So take this Cameron and get out there and take some decent pictures."

Unfortunately, the new Cameron completely baffled me. I tested it out in the bathroom and got a shot of the wastebasket, and 28 pictures of my left ear.

Obviously, I would have to read the manual on my niPad. But today was not that day.

Down in the casino I got my order of dishwater coffee and we set out to do some video poker playing Flusher-style, following the Strict Rules of Parlay.

Queens...
Queens...
Queens!
I found myself down $250 by breakfast, and the Queen Queen down $200.

The good old Market Street Cafe is so quick and easy for breakfast or lunch, that it is our go-to swifty meal place at the Cal.

They make a pretty good omelette, I must say. On the other hand, it's hard to fuck up eggs.

The waitress approached...

...her eyes narrowed....

...I met her gaze...

...and I ordered.

I really wanted to order a Fall off a Texas Halfton, hold the snort, with dirt bread shredded and wheat toast, but I thought that maybe I had better take it easy on the short orders this trip, considering how last trip had ended up.

Western omelette hold the ham, hash browns, wheat toast for me.
12th Place and eggs for the Quad Queen.
Breakfast was hot, quick, fresh, and yummy.

We went on walkabout to try the spinners at the Fremont, and to get some supplies at Walgreen's, like the Aveeno shaving gel I favor. Why pack it when you can buy it there? Somewhere along the way we seem to have picked up a bottle of Jameson's Irish Whiskey too.

At the Fremont, where I've had so much luck, those damn spinners proved my undoing. I lost about $400 on them, and the Queen lost about $250. None of our multipliers yielded any big hands and it was a bust when the tally was tallied.



Oh shit.


We had a meet-up scheduled with a VMBer, a mystery friend who tends to bring me good luck. Her trip was just ending and ours was just beginning, but there was a period of interphase where Captain Kirk was just visible in his fake spacesuit, silently mouthing lines from future Priceline commercials, and during which lunch together could be had at DuPars.

I-must....have... pancakes-to-eat.
The esophagal unwise will try this gastropromotion.
Sadly, DuPars had a DuLineup so we got the DuFuck out of there and headed back where the comps where... bring your meal books back to the Cal!

It got a bit weird when Mystery Luck Girl and I ordered the same thing. Yet when it arrived it looked like this.
Behold, Mahi Mahi number one, and Mahi Mahi number two. It was kind of weird. We talked it over for a while and determined who should receive which Mahi Mahi.
I got the Mahi Mahi with the fries, but secretly wanted the Mahi Mahi with the vegetables, which Mystery Luck Girl had said she wanted. But I later confirmed that Mystery Luck Girl was being polite and thought I wanted the fries, while I was being polite and wanted the vegetables. So she actually wanted the fries and got the vegetables and I actually wanted the vegetables and got the fries.

Fuck politeness!

We checked with the waitress and finally the Mahi Mahi conundrum was solved... I'd ordered the Mahi Mahi.
She'd ordered the Mahi Mahi sandwich, which is what I thought I was ordering - not knowing there were duplicitous Mahi Mahi dishes on the Mahi-menu.

Sadly, Mystery Luck Girl had to get on a bus back to her well-appointed suite at the Cosmo to pack, and then, head to the airport. We ditched said goodbye and fond farewells outside Binions and headed back to the room, stopping on the way to get ten 40 cent keno tickets, and some mix for the Jameson's.

Because degenerate. Because losing.

C'mon back for part 2 of this day, which will include the amazing (?) Boner Deluxe part!

2 comments:

  1. Ah ha...I knew I remembered correctly...you do like Jameson's!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Where did you get the picture of delerium beer as I am actually reading your blog in the delirium cafe in Brussels which as you know is in Belgium so what is your new owners address and I will go round and kick some ass to get you a pay rise

    ReplyDelete

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