Thursday, May 28, 2015

The Full Monty of Boner Deluxe Play






Day 3 - Wednesday - part 4

The results thus far in my day demonstrate why I am addicted to the game of video poker. What a cruel mistress, deciding that one day you shall have limp along red faced and blue balled (in the gambling sense) and the next day you shall have her any which way you want her, which, for me, was four at a time. As in quads. As in nineteen of them so far. And a straight flush to boot.

I was so happy, I could barely contain myself. I ran through the Golden Nugget, skipping and jumping and throwing Rip Taylor confetti everywhere, kissing the ladies and shaking hands with the men, handing out roses and cigars.

For now, I was a four-of-a-kind star. I headed for the dollar uprights again.

A couple of things happened... I didn't get a royal flush. Somewhat annoying.
One card off $4000. This would happen a lot.

Double Bonus Poker Plus. Anyone care to guess what percentage of AAAA hands are adjacent?
I also saw a game I'd never seen before called Double Bonus Poker Plus, which has premium quads for adjacent cards. For example AAAAK or KAAAA. I quickly calculated the odds and payback percentages of this game not to mention the EV, cashback, value of future offers, bounceback cash, backend comps, and finally the cocktail waitress ass-pinch opportunities and savvily decided that I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. I tried the game a bit and quickly abandoned it. But I do like to try new games just to see. Because beginners luck.

Still flagging from the trip out and the late nights, I took a break in my Golden Tower Golden Club Golden room, made some Golden Waters, and recorded some notes for this here blog. I ate an Golden Delicious Apple from the Golden Club snack display and some nuts I'd brought from Flusherville (cashews, not pant nuts).

It was nice to unwind a bit with the start of a come-back under my belt. It was actually kind of amazing how that come-back fit exactly under my belt without peeking out at the top or at the bottom. No, it was perfectly belt-aligned.

Having sat at machines and/or breakfast tables all day, I decided to get some serious gambling exercise... by walking the 2 minutes 18 seconds from the Smug Nugget to the Plaza. I wanted to check out their improved video poker offerings, upgrade my card in their tier matching program, see if they have de-stinkified the place, and hopefully win their money while doing a decent amount of coin-in to trigger future offers.

My Boyd Emerald card was good enough to get the Ace level card (from Jack) from the Plaza slot club. I have no idea really if this does much for me, but I'm glad to be a Jack Ace.

The stink level might have improved a bit but the scent they are using, to me, is still way way over the top. Lighten up, Francis!

It was easy to find the better Plaza video poker because it was marked with a giant sign, thus:
Giant Sign (not actual size).
 But wait - what's the fine print on that sign?

"Machines at the bank are not eligible for free play, royal rewards points or royal flush free play match. Please see Royal Rewards Center for details."

Now, much as I appreciate having an entire slot club named after me, this is, frankly, bogus. If you really want to bring in players, don't have half-assed promotions that only apply to shitty machines. Have a quarter-assed promotion that applies to ALL machines. That's the Royal Flusher Way.

There was nothing left to do but simply play for the money. (You people that have been freaking out about me playing short pay at the Nugget, you can relax now - this is 9/6 - the full monty of Boner Deluxe play.

Sticking with my conservative Drill Test Holes plan, I played $20 in a machine on quarters and it drained, but I got to play for about twenty minutes.

I changed and played a $5 bill. Why not. It drained and then I found I didn't have any more $20 bills. I put $100 in swearing up down left right and sideways that if I hit $80 I would cash that mother out.

In my head I was thinking, and probably muttering aloud, "MISTAKE. MISTAKE. MISTAKE."

And I think I would have having (re-)learned a hard lesson on Days 1 and 2. But no need, my quad streak continued - in just two hands! Good ole Boner Deluxe!!!
 I parlayed that up to fifty cents and hit another.
I parlayed that up to dollars. This is where if I could just keep it going I could really make some money back. I played on and switched between 9/6 Jacks and 9/6 Boner Deluxe. Once again, the Almost.
The Almost. Now very annoying.
I ended up playing for quite a while, doing about $2K in coin-in. I had actually meant to cash out at $300 and by mistake went below it. When I hit $200 I cashed out. Take some profits!!!

I made a few bucks at the Plaza, but not many. But it was great fun and I had lots of chances at a dollar Royal (which would completely recover my trip).

I walked outside and wandered along Fremont, looking at things like naked old men wearing pasties (this has gone way too far) and decided to hit up the Downtown Grand and get a cold Lucky Heineken.

2 comments:

  1. What percentage of quads are adjacent?

    Disregarding rank, there are five ways to make a quad: the odd card can be in position 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5.

    If the odd card is in position 1 or 5, you have an adjacent quad.

    So, I'd say that in the long term, two out of five quads (40%) of any rank will be adjacent.

    (This doesn't apply to every individual hand. For example, you can't make an adjacent quad drawing to AxxxA, AAxxA, AxxAA, or AxAxA. But if you draw to xAAAx, you can't make a non-adjacent quad.)

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  2. FreeVP 2.0 states there is 9/6 JOB at the Omaha Bar - I'm going to check it out to see if they offer points on that machine.

    Viva LV

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