Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Start the Chicken Petition -or- The Nickel Pickle








Day 6 - Saturday - part 3

I kind of glossed over the fact that I was severely underprovisioned for my Springs Preserve hike under the hot desert sun, carrying only a pint of luke-warm water, which I'd consumed in the first 2 minutes of the hike, while still within earshot of the Gift Shop.



After a long, dusty, challenging hike that must have lasted two days and three nights two hours I was pretty hot and parched. I drove the Asshat back to the Four Queens, and parked it.

And what better remedy for being parched than a seat at the Four Queen's bar by Fremont, some Double Double Bonus progressive video poker, and a couple of ice, ice, ice cold lucky Heinekens?
It should be noted that I am part Hollish, and Heineken is from Holland, so it all fits. And when I drink Heineken, I am just a little bit more Hollish than I was before. Unfortunately, that's a rental, not a purchase. But still. Lucky Heineken. Ice Cold. So Gooood.
And then, there is this hand. Every time I agonize over it, but you'll recall last trip, I had the same hand and badly misplayed it. If you get the Jack, you've got a straight flush, but then you are wondering... was the Royal there?...
Well, no Jack, just a 2 for the flush, so I didn't need to second guess. No Royal either.



I played for about three quarters of an hour and just as I was about to finish, I got a text from Blonde4Ever. She and Kodidog were just about to have dinner at the D and did I want to join them.

Sounded like a great idea! I downed the last of my beer and played the last few hands, getting nothing (no quads in this session, and I don't think I'd had any Double Double premium quads at all this trip), and headed up to my room. I reallllly needed a shower in ankle deep Four Queens scum-water. I asked them what time, and got a text back saying that they were seated in the coffee shop at the D right then.

"I'm on my way!" It was a total fabrication, but I knew my shower wouldn't take long. I managed to get clean, shave, put on clothing, and get over to the D within 10 minutes. On the way, I hit the D slot club to pick up my May matchplay and a food coupon, which could come in handy, as we were about to eat. "Almost there!" I texted while the boothling made typey-typey. It was ok, they'd never know about all the screwing around I did while they sat at their table patiently waiting, wondering where the hell I was. As soon as I sat down, I'd turn on the old Flusher charm, tell a few xxx-rated jokes, flirt with the waitress, and it would all be good.

We enquired about the old 'The Colonel Can Go Fuck Himself This Is The Best Fried Chicken I've Ever Tasted!' fried chicken and I am sorry to say that they no longer make it at the D. It was a staple when it was the Fitz and its name says it all. We need to start a Chicken Petition and get that shit back on the menu. We totally grilled (heh) the waitress, (who was known as Greasynubs Smythe-Biddle-Thames) on this point, and she agreed it was a good idea.

The ladies recommended something called tri-tip (aka beef with sauce).

"I'll have beef with sauce," I said, "since you don't have The Colonel Can Go Fuck Himself This Is The Best Fried Chicken I've Ever Tasted! any more."

"One tri-tip, comin' up," said Greasynubs. Blonde and Kodi ordered the same thing so it was a tri-tip three-way (with gravy).

When doing Vegas single-o, its so great to have a couple of pals from not-too-far-from back home around, to just be able to meet up and talk about your day with. In fact, we had some exciting plans for Sunday, or at least, I had plans for them that they didn't know about. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Tri-tip, very tender, and very tasty!
We enjoyed dinner and what was really cool was Blonde and Kodi had enough comps on their own monthly offers to cover all of dinner. I put in for tip money and that was it, and I could save my $10 for some other time.

After dinner, we all kind of split up. I had $5 free play to do and after some hunting, found a The D video poker machine to do it on. I punched through the menus, put in my pin and all that crap, and the machine rang up it's princely sum. That's when I realized that the machine had two denominations - nickels... and pennies. So I tried to cash out my $5. And I couldn't. No, you have to play it.

Now I was in a nickle pickle. What if I hit something on nickels? What if I hit a ROYAL on nickels? I'd never forgive myself! Shit! And yet.... I was too cheap to give up $5 in free play so... I punched up the highest volatility game on the machine and went at it, counting hands carefully to 20. Now I could cash out and play quarters somewhere else. Except... I had 95 nickels on the meter.

Now I was STILL in a nickel pickle. I had to play to an even number for quarters. Thank GOD I didn't win anything. When I had 80 nickels, I bailed.

The progressives at the bar were pretty high, so I played there, on quarters. Didn't get anything. Drilled a couple of test holes, but the hot and sexy $220 progressive on the straight flush (almost 4x normal) eluded me.

Downstairs, I bought in for $20 on a blackjack table and used $10 my match play along with a $10 bet. I was deal 7,3 against a dealer 4 - a double down situation. So double down I did, and was dealt a beautiful Ace for 21. The dealer busted, just for good measure. I took my $30 winnings and cashed it in. After finding, hassling, and saying so long to both Blonde (keno machine upstairs) and Kodi (penny slot downstairs), I headed over to the Downtown Grand.

There were a couple of things of note. Note 1, the progressives on their (inferior) Double Double Bonus were pretty healthy. Note 2, upon playing my first hand... I was granted $100 in free play. WAHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Now THAT is MORE LIKE IT, Downtown Grand!!!

I was down to $100 on my day's stake (yes, I had a day's stake of $500 - a necessity since my spendthrift first 24 hours had put me into the 5th ring of gambling hell losses) so this was super welcome. I had a few drinks at the bar and toiled away on Double Double.

I didn't make a fortune, but I did play for an hour on $40 of free play, which was pretty good. Eventually I pissed it all away, and then most of the $100 I had left for the day.

Got a couple of quads, but in 5 or 6 hours of Double Double this trip, I'd had no premium quads at all.


I did about $1500 coin in and on my way out, watched one of their promotions - a draw in which, if picked, you got to spin some reels. If you got three Downtown Grand symbols, you'd win $250,000.

They even had the requisite hotty-chick to clap at the right times, and otherwise just sort of dress up the occasion while the talking guy made inane comments that were piped throughout the joint.


I guessed there were about 30 symbols on the reels, so you had about a 1 in 27,000 (30x30x30) chance of winning the quarter mil. I think the Downtown Grand is probably safe on this one, but hey... strange things happen when busty blondes give you the clap.


I found out that Mayweather won the fight. The whole 'fight of the century' thing was a non-factor downtown, and I was glad to be away from the crush on the south strip.

Take your baby to Fremont Street? Umm... no. Change your baby on a stack of pallets in the alley by the dumpsters? Dear GOD no!!!!!!!!!!!

Back at the Four Queens, I got my cashback. I'd done about $24K total coin in on our two cards - less than half what I'd originally planned. Cashback was $70, which I promptly took up to Chicago Brewing Company, to have a smoke and a nightcap.



It's 'winner take all' at the jammin' Keno lounge. Okay, so its 'casino take all!'...
My recording for the day says, "I need some decent hands, need royal, need aces kicker, need something to fucking happen..."

And it was true. Where were the big hands??? Nowhere. And the day's loss put me over the $3K down mark.

Well, tomorrow was a whole new set of chances in a whole new scene - at Luxor.

Day: -$485
Trip: -$3135

3 comments:

  1. Good luck on the strip. I had a few good runs at Luxor in April on the progressive quarter bank by the sports book.

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  2. Come on mr flushman, you can do it. we are all with you. And, your posts continue to be much fun to read.

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  3. I'm enjoying these posts also. Especially since I made a similar trip a month ago. stayed at Gold Nugget, and Four queens too, as well as Freemont and Sams town during my 8 night trip. Also, Mayweather won the "fight of the century" when I was there a month ago too!

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