Sunday, August 30, 2015

The Rise of Boner Deluxe (Aug 29-2015)








Saturday. That meant no slaving for Veeblefetzer. Finally, my time in Vegas would be all my own! And I planned to make the most of it. It would feel so good to get away from the soul-sucking artificial light of my laptop computer screen and spend the day staring at a video poker screen.

I slept in a bit this morning. Got up, got downstairs for a coffee from the perky barkeep, and back up to the room to hammer out the day's blog. Today looks like a repeat of that scenario with the addition of a quick couple of twenties in the casino. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

When the chores were done, I walked the two short blocks to the Cal. It was already hot. It's piping hot in Vegas, it hit 106 today. With the wind blowing, it's a very unusual feeling. Like being one of them convention ovens. (Maybe that's why they hold CES here.)

We got started and once again, I found myself unable to get a four of a kind (or a Royal for that matter). It's not for want of trying.

I've now had 14 chances from four-to-a-Royal this trip. Add that to the 30-some last trip and the 25-some the trip before and you are looking at one frustrated Royal Not Flusher.

Anyhoo. I played about 1200 hands, got nada. Oddly, 1100 of those hands were done on $20. I lost but $60 in the session. Meanwhile, Mrs. Flusher got on the board with a nice set of Aces. Don't you just love Aces?!


Then we headed to the coffee shop for Frustration Breakfast. I ordered an omelette. With cheese. Side of sausage. Omelette came, no cheese. No side of sausage. I asked for a remake of the omelette. It came back in about 2 minutes - not long enough to make an identical looking omelette with cheese stuffed inside. Came with rice. No hash browns. Sausage finally came. Sigh.

On the other hand, what a whiner. I have it great compared to many. Ohhhhh poor you, no cheese on your quadless omelette. Suck it up, cheese boy!

That's what I said to myself anyway. So I did, I sucked that omelette up like Dyson.
I recognize this omelette.

Vat o' Country Throw-up Buffet Gravy!
I wanted to give the Plaza some play, and I had unfinished business with the Boner Deluxe over there. $220 play or so the other day and no quads. (Sound familiar?)

So, I mis-wrote when I said that the scent made Mrs. Flusher sneeze. She told me today that the scent was now tolerable but it was the other scent coming up from the escalators that made her sneeze.

Folks talk about the Plaza having these issues and now I know why - there is probably some sort of pit under the escalators, and that is where that sort of sewer smell comes from. They need to address the source of that. It's the same smell you run into outside on the street sometimes, or around the Flamingo sometimes, or on the street between the Smug Nugget and the Four Queens. (I really need to come up with a snappy moniker that is slightly insulting with a hint of immature off color humor for the Four Queens.)

Anyway, I found I forgot all about the added perfumy scent at the Plaza, so they have toned it down acceptably.

And, they play music that was played by musicians, not computers and autotune boxes. I'm not a super fan of classic rock as as steady diet but it beats the racket they assault you with at the D.

By the way, the Downtown Grand used to play some of the most interesting, intelligent tunes I've ever heard in a casino.

No longer.

Now it's all bombastic hyper-modern pseudo-dance Californelectronica over processed pound pound pound jackhammer idiot tunes with many choruses of groups of people singing nonsense syllables over a 3 note melody attributed to 'artists' with one word names ending in vowels or fake street cred contractions in them that I thought Prince wore out in the 80s..Didn't U?  I have no idea what the fuck this stuff is, but I know its fairly recent and I hate it. And there's no escaping it.

Want an example? Find Shaggy's heart tugging poignant expression of the deep love he (she?) feels for the object of his (her?) ultimate desire.

"Habibi (I Need Your Love)" by Shaggy, Mohombi, Faydee and Costi.

It goes like this:

I need your love, I need your love,
I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love
I need your love, I need your love,
I need your...
I need your love, I need your love,
I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love
Let me love you o-o-o...

Let me love you o-o-o...

I need your love, I need your love,
I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love
I need your love, I need your love,
I need your...
I need your love, I need your love,
I need your lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-love
Let me love you o-o-o...

Ladies and gentlemen, I wrote that exact song when I was thirteen. Shaggy probably did too.

From now on, I guess I'll refer to the kind of crap they play in the Grand as Shaggy-n0yz.

Do you think this is a rant? It is. Do you think I'm too old? I'm either too old or I simply have decent taste in music. Get out of my Jello tree, you kids!

Want to hear some real music that I like? Check out The Balconies latest, Fast Motions. And yes, it came out in the last couple of years.

Now, where was I?

Oh yeah, gambling at the Plaza!

Mrs. Flusher had a long fairly bad time of it, putting quite a bit of dough in and getting nough dough out. But I got on a bit of a run and made some money!

Time to parlay!
Time to parlay AGAIN!

Nailed it!

Oh boy that felt good. A decent dollar quad, and at $400, my biggest win of the trip thus far.

Quad Queen managed to scratch back a little ground anyway, but she finished down on the session.



I played back quite a bit of the money, looking for a dollar quad run like I pulled off a couple of times last November, but couldn't get over the hump.

But I walked out of there up on the day.

We headed over to Main Street Station to do a little business there.

They are installing scenery on Main Street. It looks nice. I wonder how much those boulders cost to make?

Be sure to check out Shaggy's other heart-pounding hits like:
Boombastic
Luv Me Luv Me
Fired Up (Fuck the Rece$ion!)
For Ur Eyez Only
and
Wild 2nite


Peace, out.

6 comments:

  1. That term for the smelly, foul, stench that inseminates the surrounding area is called a 'stink torpedo'
    launched from the bowels of the 'Stank Tanks' in greater Las Vegas.

    ReplyDelete
  2. > I really need to come up with a snappy moniker that is slightly insulting
    > with a hint of immature off color humor for the Four Queens.

    Four Beans?
    OK, that's not so great; but one of your readers should be able to come up with something good.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Eight Titties?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Uh huh huh huh.....Four Queefs.......huh huh huh huh.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Fourplay Queens, they tease you a lot but you never real feel like a King

    ReplyDelete

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