Monday, February 22, 2016

I may be stupid, but I'm not twice stupid, that often.





This is the part that is always good for a laugh.

There part where I state my plans for the trip.... the high hopes, the noble pursuits, the feckless mindset. How soon would it all tumble down?

After a pretty disastrous working trip in August 2014, which you can read about in the Aug 2015: Just The Facts Trip Report, I wanted to go back and prove that I could make a working trip work. Winter here in Flusherville is too grim without the prospect of getting away to somewhere, if not warm, where I could at least go outside without my snowsuit and Trailer Park Boys onesie underwear.

I suffer pretty badly from the affliction known as 'S.A.D.' which stands for Season Affective Disorder, but might as well stand for Fucked Up In The Head From Darkness.

Except that F.U.I.T.H.F.D doesn't make a convenient word.

As I slip on the black ice of life gracefully into my dribble-mouth old age - my retirement date is 2093, just around the corner, thanks for nothing, 2008 - I'm still getting a handle on my F.U.I.T.H.F.D.

What I've learned:

  • it starts as early as August
  • by December I am comatose and impossible to be around
  • light therapy keeps it at bay 
  • brilliant sunshine fixes it, if I can get an hour a day
  • Vegas fixes it
Therefore, go to Vegas... for medical reasons!

So, goal number one, which morphed to encompass a few things, was to get lots of sunshine if possible, use the $20 trick at each hotel to try to get complimentary room upgrades and to ensure a good place to work, and a southern exposure. Late January is admittedly not the best weather in Vegas - but 50 degrees to any Canadian feels like a fucking heatwave come January.

(I relished strolling around in shorts and shirtsleeves and when bundled up tourists gave me a look from under their parka, toque, gloves, scarf, and Trailer Park Boys onesie underwear, I'd just smile and say, "Canadian." It explains it all.)

Goal number two, and you are going to think I am nuts... (which I am, but that's beside the point)... play less, and play at fewer places where I am already getting good comps. Huh??? I wanted to relieve as many stressors as possible on this trip, so reducing the number of days where I have programmed play made sense. Primarily this meant no stay at Boyd properties where we do $10k a day in return for all kinds of comp goodies.

I'd try to stay at properties I cared more about on the weekends, and others when I was working during the week.

Goal number three, reduce some expenses. I wouldn't rent a car. I'd use the Lyftber ride scaring sharing service for the first time. And, I'd eat as many meals on my existing Four Queens comp dollars as I could. And, I'd play more quarters, parlaying up to dollars when I could. I wouldn't repeat the mistake of last summer's solo trip where I blew through $1700 in 10 waking hours at the Nugget.

I may be stupid, but I'm not twice stupid, that often.

I booked that VIP shared limo, $28 return, what a deal. I wasn't ready to try Lytber from the airport for the first time, so the next day I registered on my piPhone 3.14 (okay, Lyft) and got the five free rides promo.

Some of the offers I booked were nice, the best one by far was the T.I. one. The heavy play we did there payed off. I had three nights, $250 free play, and some other spin and win perks or some such.

Mandalay Boy was offering three nights and $50 free play. Luxor had a better offer in some senses - $100 free play. But I was not repeating the Luxor Fuxor from last time, so, as my Dad used to say, fuck that noise. I booked Mandalay Boy and then saw an upgraded offer for three nights, $75 free play and $50 resort credit. Got on the blower pronto to upgrade that offer.

Downtown Grand is still in disarray. I had a couple nights, $15 food, $25 free play or something. Contacted my host there and she pitched in the third night I'd need.

The Golden Nugget was good for 3 nights in the Rush Tower and $75 freeplay, plus free tickets to a show - an ELO spinoff called Orchestra.

And, I took a flyer and booked web rate at Tropicana for two nights. 57 trips and I'd never stayed there. Thought I'd try it out.

Sixteen nights in all.

Oh, the last two nights? The venerable El Cortez. I get shit offers from them but who cares, $2000 coin in Mon-Thu and $3000 on the weekend covers your room.

I spill more than that.

Anyway, three nights at T.I. was up first. I finally made it to the lobby at 2:00am my time and did my thing.

I have gotten burned a few times handing the $20 tip over with my license and credit card. Particularly at Luxor, where they charged for a shitty suite upgrade and still took the $20. It was no favor, as you'll recall. One word. Jizzcuzzi.

No, this time, I used a little more Flusher panache.

I folded the $20 so that the corner with the bigger '20' was visible, and stashed it in my shirt pocket, sticking out, just like a hankie on an expensive silk suit. Except t-shirt. 


I turned on the Flusher charm, the Flusher panache and the Flusher Savvy - all at the same time.

I told the clerkling exactly what I wanted - up high, comp upgrade if possible, sunny side.

And then I gave the twenty a little tug.

"And I am happy to tip for great service."

So what did this get me? A corner room right on the strip, 17th floor, champagne service. I put that down as a win. The room was located on what is probably the primo location on their floor plan, with floor to ceiling windows on two sides.

I was happy.

As mentioned, I dumped a hundy, grabbed something to eat at the (aptly named) coffee shop called Coffee Shop, you'll recall, and then slumbered something fierce.

Sorry, I hadn't made the bed yet.

If I don't hit 500 soon,
My life will be a total ruin.
Click the Like people, help me out here.
Burma-Shave.

The Disastrous Solo What Goes Around Spins Around Trip Report.



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