Saturday, July 16, 2016

Call for Chester Briquettes from Chew Chew Heaven








Day 9 - Part 3

If I went to New Orleans, would there be a Vegas-themed casino? I don't know. I have never been to New Orleans. And I don't need to go, because instead, I was headed to The Orleans, which would surely be just as good as being in the bayou, right?

Yes, I cut across the interstate, sort of dead reckoning my way there after taking one quick peek of the map on the piPhone.

I'd tried to use Google Maps to speak directions to me, having plugged in a detailed multi-stop route, but every time I started the Poon Stang, the maps wouldn't happen. Instead, A.M. Mourning, off of Chicago's second effort, the epoonanonymously named Chicago II, would start playing. Now, I love me some horny early Chicago music, but this track is a ponderously pseudo-intellectual and incredibly depressing instrumental.

And it would start afresh every single time I started the car.

Why couldn't it have been 25 or 6 to 4, or Does Anybody Know What Time It Is, or Beginnings, or Make Me Smile?  Or I'm a Man? Or even Call on Me from Chicago IV?

Fuck it, I would just look at the horizon for the big ORLEANS sign and find my own way there, notwithstanding Chicago.
Poon Stang Parking Only
By now I was starting to be used to the drill. Find the casino. Park. Go in and find the slot club booth. Get a new card, get coupons validated, whatever, whatever. Then go and play.

I've been in the Orleans maybe once before, either that or it was the Gold Coast... but regardless, it seemed pretty cool, lots of decent video poker, lots of amenities - I could see myself spending a few days here sometime. Maybe when downtown runs out of plays.

Things went pretty well on video poker at the Orleans. In fact, I had done well at all four places I'd tried on the coupon run so far.

I put in some money to play enough to trigger the freeplay. It went well. First I got the Deuces Wild Torment Quad - four 3s for 20 credits, instead of the usual 125.
Deuces Wild Torment Quad
 But the very next hand I made up for it with a wild Royal. It's allll good at the Orleans.
I cashed out the profits and played the freeplay - but I didn't get anything for that.

They had a very suggestive sign on the side of one bank of video poker machines.
If you are going to poke her anywhere, it might as well be right here!
Too easy, Orleans!

I think in my previous post I said I was up $120 on the coupon run - that wasn't so at that point, but it was so at this point. So things were going pretty well.

Back out to the car for another round of the downlifting "A.M. Mourning" and the ride to the Gold Coast.

Park, slot club, coupons, gamble. This time it didn't go as well.

I kind of got carried away and lost $50 of my own cash and the $10 freeplay as well. This was one case where the coupon enticement worked in the casino's favor and they got some dough outta my wallet.

It was lunchtime and I drove east on whatever road the Gold Coast was on. I thought I'd turn left on whatever road was the last road before the interstate, take it north, and get onto Spring Mountain, and thus to T.I. I waited a moment too late and next thing I knew I was crossing the interstate. No problem, I would just hop onto the highway, and get off at the very next exit which would have to be Spring Mountain.

Sorry Mario Flushdretti, you just got onto the express lanes. I drove at breakneck speed right past Spring Mountain, powerless to get off. I pushed even faster, with the idea that the faster I went, the sooner I might be able to get off the interstate, and therefore not be as lost. The mind, at least my mind, is a frightening thing.

The scenery flew by and finally, I was able to exit, way, way north of T.I. Fuck me. I didn't want to go down the strip, so the first right I came to, I made. And headed back south.

The scenery looked familiar, full of tire retreading shops, car parts junkyards, and of course, strip clubs.

I was thinking, "This sort of looks like the area around Rollin' Smoke BBQ that I had such trouble finding that time."

Then I was thinking, "Damn, some proper BBQ would sure be good for lunch."

And then I was on top of it. Rollin' Smoke. No hesitation, I hauled on the steering wheel, put her sideways onto the drivers side rims, the right side of the car some three feet off the pavement, Diamonds Are Forever style, and slid perfectly into their Poon Stang Parking Only spot, tires smoking and crying for mercy. I may not know where I'm going, but I get there in style.

It was great to see all my friends at the BBQ again, especially Chester Briquettes, and his niece Ashly Briquettes, who was holding court at the podium.
The lovely and efficient Ashly Briquettes.
I ordered a brisket sandwich and I was not disappointed. Some slaw, a couple of sauces, an ice cold drink, and I was in chew-chew heaven.
Yes it was as good as it looks.
Full of tummy and stained of shirt, I fired up the A.M. Mourning Poon Stang, and motored placidly to T.I.

There sure is a lot of fucking around when you change hotels a lot in Vegas. Get the car. Park the car. Get the stuff. Move the stuff. Find the car. Go somewhere. Park the car. Take the stuff. Move the car. Find the stuff. Go somewhere. It's never-fucking ending.

Ok, so I had to park the Poon Stang, then get upstairs and pack up my gear. As I hoofed it down the hall, I saw the Housekeeping Sheila just outside my room again.

"I'll be out in half an hour," I said.

"Yes, sir."

"Don't worry, it's not my blood."

"Yes... sir?"

"Yes. I mean no."

This was one maid I was going to leave a tip for.

My host had let me know that she wouldn't be working, but to text her when I was checking out and she'd have someone look at my charges. Fair enough.

I got an envelope ready for her with some good stuff in it and wrote a little thank you note. I got completely packed up, and was ready to roll. I kept checking the folio on the TV and my charges kept showing. I texted again, apologetically. I don't like bothering people on their day off but she insisted.

I got a response this time - she wanted to know roughly what the charges were. I texted back, and let her know I was needing to get out of the room.

And I waited. And waited. And checked the folio. And now I started debating... should I leave the envelope? Should I not?

If I had to leave the room before the charges were covered, or if they were never covered, I was thinking not.

Because it was dragging on.

Finally, 40 minutes after I'd first texted, I texted back one last time asking if the charges had been taken off? and I needed to be moving on?

This was it. Do or die.

Finally, I heard back. "Done. Hope you enjoyed your stay."
I could get used to always having a $0.00 hotel bill.
I was glad this worked out because I feel like our relationship is building in the direction I want it to go. On my way out, I left the hermetically sealed envelope for her where she could pick it up the next day.

And with that, I was off to check in behind Elvis at the Tropicana!

Check out Rollin Smoke BBQ, Las Vegas - Royal Flusher Restaurant Review on Royal Flusher World!





The $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016: All Posts

Planning the $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016

I miss the old KanyeFlusher, straight from the go KanyeFlusher
Chop up the soul Flusher, set on his goals Flusher
I hate the new Flusher, the bad mood Flusher
The always-rude Flusher, spaz in the news Flusher
I miss the sweet Flusher, chop up the beats Flusher
I gotta say, at that time, I'd like to meet Flusher!
Got Flusher?!

8 comments:

  1. "I drove at breakneck speed right past Spring Mountain, powerless to get off."
    I shouldn't laugh at this..but it is hilarious. (As long as I am not in the car!)

    ReplyDelete
  2. First time commenter, long time reader. Big fan. While I'm not nearly as savvy as the mighty Flasher, I have to say the Orleans is a damn fine place. It's my usual haunt when I'm in town. I'm a fairly low volume gambler and get pretty decent offers from them.

    LeRoy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seems like lots of votes for the Orleans! Thanks for reading, LeRoy.

      Delete
  3. Chicago fan here. I'm from Chicago. Never heard of A.M. Mourning. My bad. Googled and fired it up. G D Royal Flusher. My opinion of Chicago is changing. For the worse. Fired up a 1970 version of 25 or 6 to 4 and opinion cleared up.....but still G D you Flusher. lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well done RF

    May I ask what you give in the envelope to your host ? ... Is the norm cash or gift card or will a RF business card suffice. Also to get an idea since I have no clue .. What amount would be considered good ... (Not insulting)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This one has been getting 50 beans. Actually, this time it was 25 visa gift card and 25 cash. She hasn't been in a position to do a whole lot for us yet so, starting slow. Other hosts that really bring the value get $100.

      Delete
    2. Thanks .... Interesting as always

      Delete
  5. I also a fan of the Orleans. I usually add it on to a trip over 5 days as CET only Comps 5 days. Rooms are nice and VP is plentiful. If I have any complaint it would be they have Pepsi and no Coke a Cola but insiders will tell you can find a Coke at the food court.

    ReplyDelete

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