Thursday, July 14, 2016

The Sweaty Leather-clad Scent of Elvis








Day 9 - Part 1

They make it so easy for ole Flushiepants.
How thrilling is it to wake up in Las Vegas on a sunny Saturday morning, knowing that the day before you had a winning day, the first of the trip, in which you played and ate and vanquished the casino, making them bow to your will, harnessing the shifting winds of luck in just the right way, besting your foe?

Damn thrilling, let me tell you, and when you remember the extent of your winnings was five whole dollars, that tingly in your wingly lasts for a number of pleasurable seconds*.

*where 'a number' represents a number between 3 and 8 seconds, 95% of the time.

I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, and said, "Who's the winner here? Who's the big winner here? Flusher, that's who. Flusher's the big winner!" I like what I saw in that mirror.

Then I turned the light on.

Ok, so I had work to do. Today was a special day. It was, potentially 'pad the bankroll day'.

For today I was going on a massive coupon run. I got ready, headed down the elevator - would it never get there? - and into the casino. I never get tired that walk out the elevator, even if I'm not playing.

Downstairs, I got my bankroll sorted - adding MANY, MANY TIP DOLLARS, you'll be ecstatic to hear - and headed out.

First stop, breakfast downtown, and I started up the Poon Stang, whose gentle purr that could turn into a roar with just a little coaxing said clearly to me, "I missed you and I want you to give it to me right now", and rocketed left out of the T.I. complex, and swung right, chirping the back tires loose a little as I gave her the beans, and then floored it onto the Interstate. I made the Cal in about 8 seconds flat and parked her in the shade. I think I made it faster than it would have taken me to get a table at the T.I. coffee shop for another $18.50 breakfast.
Try to find parking like this on the strip. It could take a very long time!
I had someone I wanted to talk to there, and took care of that business in no time flat. Then I headed for Magnolia's for breakfast.

Boy those comp dollars on my card were sure going a long, long way at the Four Queens.
For a tough day of gamblestering, you need Country Throw-up Gravy.
Breakfast was heart-stoppingly delicious. And service was fast and efficient. For this kind of meal, it is really hard to top Magnolia's.

I picked up the 'Stang, stopping to admire her lines one more time. Every car should be parked in front of a casino at some point in its brief life.

First stop, just a few minutes away, the home of Elvis, the ex-home of Star Trek, the renamed, the beloved, the Westgate!


Elvis would be 148 years old today, if he was still with us.
I walked by the sad remains of the Star Trek exhibit and Quark's bar and the interstellar casino - it was sad and empty, like my luck on match plays.

The sweaty leather-clad scent of Elvis still graces the nostrils of all who enter the Westgate.
No tip jar???!!!
Speaking of match plays, just to recap, I was zero for six attempts. I hoped to rectify that here. I got a new card at the slot club, did the needed coupon business, and got cracking. First thing, blow through the freeplay and try to make enough to fund the match play.

I found a decent machine near the Westgate's massive sports book.
The Westgate's massive sports book.
Anybody remember playing near the sportsbook and the place was filled with the smell of cooking onions from the buffet? I thought the smell still hung around the place like one of Elvis' capes.

My game of choice for the $10 freeplay was Deuces (NSUD). I don't get to play Deuces nearly enough. I worked my ten bucks up to twenty and... cashed it out!
I was totally committed to taking small wins throughout the coupon run - I needed it to add up as I went. Next, the match play coupon. I hit an empty craps table and threw $10 on the felt. Two reds and a coupon on the pass line.

I rolled the bones. Six. Not bad.

"Now sir," said the dealer, "you want to roll another six - but before you roll a seven."

I guess when $5 is a 'big win' you stink like newbie. I let it go and let the dice fly. Rolled a 10. Rolled a 5. Rolled a 10. Rolled an 8. I was starting to wish I was playing for real, I was hitting everything on the table.

"Winner 6."

What?

Winner?

A match play winner? I won? I actually won?

YES. I. DID. I WON A MATCHPLAY!!!!!
My red, round matchplay cherry - popped like a birthday balloon winnings. Good thing I edit.
Boy was I happy to have that monkey off my back. I cashed the ticket and chips, walking out of there a winner.

I was now one for seven on match plays.

This was going to be a great day, if I didn't get into trouble, like, say, a fight with a crackhead at Col. O. Positive's Leather 'N Chaps Punk Rock Line Dance Pool Room and Saloon.

More to come...




The $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016: All Posts

Planning the $1K Scrounge Trip - June 2016

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