Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Off to Pork Vegas -or- Panic at 33,000 Feet







Day 1, Saturday

I was really proud of pulling off the pork party for Divana. But I was would up and excited about our trip to Las Vegas and I slept fitfully, for not enough hours. Nevermind, I'd soldier through.

First order of business was to confirm that a pulled pork and brie omelette is pretty damn delicious.

By the way, are you all surprised that Flushiepants can cook?

So am I.

I thought I'd have lots of time with all the prep I'd done, but the 5 hours until liftoff were completely filled with chores, such as wrangling the Emergency Cheese supply.
The Emergency Cheese was packed by the chimney with care.
Around 2:30, we loaded up the '84 Tercel and headed west. We were on our way.

The trip went pretty well, minus a bit of fucking around at the end of the drive to get to the Park 'n Hump.

It's our first time using Park 'n Hump at Pearson, and honestly, I had a bit of trouble finding the lot, initially. We came in on the 407, and after a brief tour of the 427, QEW, and Burlington, I worked my way back to the lot. It only added about an hour and 20 minutes to the trip.

Perhaps you think I am exaggerating. But as I've told you a million times...

We got parked and the Bonerattler Shuttle came pretty quickly and ferried us to Pearson's exotic Terminal 3. They must have worked on that terminal name for eons.

The Bonerattler is a repurposed 1983 Econoline van, once used by the touring group Big Hair and the Feelup Band. They ripped the van shell off and welded on a 17 seat capsule. They also took the opportunity to weld the shocks permanently extended, leading to a ride that your vertebrae will never forget.
Remember where we parked!!!

But, really, it all went smoothly. Security, Customs, etc. We had time to grab something to eat before boarding our Westjet flight.

I had to laugh that pulled pork was on the menu. We both opted for burgers. They were tasty but too late I noticed that mine was raw blood-dripping a little pink in the center.
I chomped it down and hoped for the best.

I had decided to treat the Quad Queen with a little TLC, so I'd booked us in Westjet Plus. We were in row 2, with luxury and comfort and an open bar. What more do you need to know?

We took off pretty much on time and our Vegas trip officially began. I chilled and watched a couple of episodes of Gold Rush and played 'spot the vermin in Todd Hoffman's beard'.

About 3 hours into the 5 hour flight, an odd thing happened. The Quad Queen, who had opted for the aisle seat, was sitting there, minding her own business... when a very large man dive-bombed head first into her crotch.

She held him up and talked to him some and held him up some more and shouted for some help - this man was in distress, and it had nothing to do with anyone's crotch.

The flight attendants were there quickly and Quad Queen, Nicole and Simoni managed to get the guy into the seat behind her.

He did not look good.


1 comment:

  1. Hmmmmm, I'm beginning to wonder if WestJet caters to people who should be home in bed instead....

    ReplyDelete

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