Thursday, December 22, 2016

Welcome to The Eye Table








Day 17 - Mon Nov 7, 2016

Here's how you start your last full day in Las Vegas. You go downstairs at the California Hotel and Casino

You do $2,500 coin in on various games of chance.

Before breakfast, you are down $300.

You have this to show for it.


Wait a minute - that's not 'you'.

That's ME!

One of the more desirable Single Lonely Diner tables at the coffee shop is the Eye Table. There are actually two of them. They are specially designed to fit in the coveted sunken area known by those in the know as the Fools Dance Floor. The better of these two tables is right next to the Market Street Cafe Grand Rampe, down which lucky Fools Dance Floor diners, in all their wifebeater, t-shirt, flip-flop, and rental scooter finery make their stunning dining debuts.

I had an elegant breakfast.
It's okay, I didn't eat all of the toast. Or the orange - too natural!
I rejoined the action in the casino where the Quad Queen continued to rack up points.

So, what do you I do when you I are down $500, and you I have one bet left on the 10-play Bonus Poker game in front of you?

Well, it's not really a good question, more of a dramatic device to point out the circumstances in which I found myself.

Of course, the thing you I do is obvious - you play the last hand while hoping for the best, and wondering how your day went so quickly, so magnificently into the dumper like a dried dog turd tumbling end over end in a perfect arc to its final resting place along, with all the other refuse.

By the three whiskers on Jimmy Poon's rather effeminate chin (one of which is about 2 inches long, but Jimmy never wavers in his belief that the "chicks find it hot that I am lucky"), I managed to procure four pointies!
Have you ever noticed on multi-play games that the best result often appears on the larger, bottom line? I think they are re-arranging the results, which would not really be illegal.

No more illegal than re-arranging the dealt cards so that they are harder to parse - like splitting pairs, so one is on each end of the hand. They said the cards had to be randomly selected, they didn't say that they had to appear in the order drawn.

Keep note of how many times that one card you needed appears first in the next hand. If its more than one time in 52, the bastards are up to something!

Look at it this way - if I owned a video poker game company, and I could do this without breaking the Gaming statutes - I bloody well would. But I don't. I don't even own stock in one. But if I did own stock in one, and I could not blog about this kind of shenanigans - I bloody well wouldn't!

Now, where were we? Ah yes, dressing up the millionth iteration of gambling for a day in all sort of semi-interesting dross and detritus.

I gathered my nuts for winter, and bore down hard on the machine, plunging that Deal button like a risque 78 butter churn handle.

Things went well, and I recovered to about $250. Halfway of the distance to 'break even'.

We headed to Main Street for some multiplay. Nothing exciting happened, it was not really very good. After lunch, it was time to register for.... the second video poker tournament of the trip.

This is a bit interesting. We planned to leave the next day. Our limo was scheduled for 11:15am. The video poker tournament rounds were the next day, and the day after that. We wouldn't be in Vegas on the second day.

But I had a plan.

The Quad Queen took a breather in the room and I headed back to Main Street Station for more multiplay. And I got on a nice tear!

Aside from missing four-to-a-royal yet again, I did very well.

Bastards!

I'd completed my planned coin-in, so I got to start fucking around. I played some silly stuff like that fun Aces No Faces coin dropper game.

Back at the Cal, the Quad Queen - who was down $500 - was ready to go.

And some crazy $5 action was going to happen. Action that you will want to read about...

...tomorrow.

(Or, you can read about it today, if you are not reading this post on the day it was posted. Whatever.)

"But Flusher... what about that weird pearl onion face picture????"

Wait for it.

This trip report isn't over until we SAY it's over!






1 comment:

  1. Inquiring minds still want to know what happened to the missing day. It's feels like we are stuck in an episode of lost. If this TR is really a dream, like Newhart finale we are all going to be be PO'd. Day 15 - Fri Nov 4 - part 2 -> Sunday Nov 6, 2016 - Day 16

    ReplyDelete

Leave a message for Royal Flusher!