Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Yabba Dabba Do Me





Day 15 - Sat Nov 5, 2016 - part 1

Another beautiful sunny Luxor Las Vegas day was waiting outside our window, gracing the parking lot below with little tickles of sparkly light. There's no parking lot in the world like a Vegas morning parking lot!

We had $100 or so resort credit with our offer - and that meant comped Starbuckers. I moseyed down and got the goods, and a hot tea for the missus.

We hung out in the room for a bit, and then I was hungry. As I am almost every day, like clockwork.

The Pyramid Cafe awaited me, now that it was open. They cut down from 24 hour service years ago to shutting down at night, to being open from 7:00 until 4:00, then 7:00 till 2:00, and now they are open for just 35 minutes each morning.

The line-up starts early.

If they keep this up, they Pyramid Cafe will be open for 1 minute a day and be the most popular restaurant in the place.

Of course, I ordered you-know-what, which I am actually starting to get sick of again.

Because I made the mistake of looking at the plate.
This is exactly why I likened that peculiar southern white gravy (with prizes in) to what can only be termed 'throw-up'.

Don't believe me?

Take a closer look.
Could that possibly be too much gravy?
I was as surprised as you are that it can actually taste quite good on a chicken-fried steak, which isn't chicken, isn't fried, and isn't steak. It's a deep fried coated burger patty. Possibly beef. Check the stables at Pimlico, that's all I'm saying.

The Quad Queen joined me in time to watch me labor over this hot mess.

"What do you want to do on this sparkly parking lot day?" I asked.

"Gamble."

I grabbed a quick quad out of the Luxor's sarcophagus, and we hoofed it over to the Tropicana.
There's a new operator running the Trop, so QQ was eligamable for the new player bonus sign-up special award premium incentive promotion. This means you get five bucks freeplay, most likely.

What did I tell you.
We kicked back, ordered some beverages, and got teeny tiny quads including teeny tiny Pointies.

The joys of nickel play!



Teeny tiny Aces Kicker!

Hold a bullet, get four Jakes.

It translated into real money for me after a good long play.

We scouted the casino a bit - I noticed these new machines that looked all pretty and colorful.

Stay away.

Stay FAR away. These are misleading cut-through cheater asshole machines.

Take a look at the pay table for what they call "Bonus Poker". 10/8 Bonus Poker???!!! Wow! 8/5 Bonus pays 99.18% or so right? This must be even better!

But wait!

This game pays only 1 for two pair, instead of 2 on real Bonus Poker.

Look what the WinPoker analysis says:

This colorful piece of crap pays back 94.24%. That's five percent less. That will eat you alive.

Think of it another way - the casino edge on this game is five times greater than the edge on Bonus Poker. You might as well play the slots.

And heck, that seemed like a really good idea.

We walked around and I spied the Flintstones!!! My favorite!!!

I decided to risk twenty dollars on it. I only play the maximum, $3.60 a spin, so it went fast. Really fast. I got nothing.

"Oh..." I said, my voice trailing off slowly.

"Is this one of the things you really wanted to do here?" asked the QQ.

"Play the Flintstones? Well yeah! But I can't afford to."

"You came all this way. Do the thing you want to do."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yabba-dabba-doooo!!!"

So, I put $100 in and went for it.



Well how about THAT!!!!




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