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Thursday, August 20, 2009

El Primo Spotto

I live my life by a carefully crafted set of principles. It is important to lead a carefully planned and 'in-control' existence, which is why, on a complete whim, I adopted the premise of El Primo Spotto.

El Primo Spotto (or 'EPS') is a simple principle that has many practical uses in everyday life, particularly if you own an automobile that fits into parking spots.
Wynn Las Vegas Hotel and Casino sunset
You could probably even find EPS - El Primo Spotto - at Wynn Las Vegas. Why not try?
When arriving at a public parking area, be it a garage, or a multi-acre parking lot, the principle says that you should immediately go after EPS - El Primo Spotto - which is the best parking spot in the entire complex.

This will be the spot nearest the doors to the targeted casino, tax offices, place of worship (or all three combined). Yes, next to the handicapped spots, the pink expectant mother spots, the mothers with children spots, then the Governor's spot, the mall police spots, the taxi stand, the extra-wide spot for the parallel parking impaired, the teeny spot for clowns in clown cars (minimum occupancy 9 clowns), and finally the step-grandparents uncles with pregnant mothers of 7 who have hangnails spots, you will find El Primo Spotto.

So many people eschew the supposed power of EPS because they feel, "I'll never get a spot near the front, those were gone hours ago.", or "My life is a holy horror and I'll never get a good parking spot, let alone a decent paying job."

And this is precisely why it works. Well, there is a bit more to it than that.

The magic of EPS is also tied in with the power of positively thinking about things that you really, really, really want to come true.

And this is the reason I intend to employ it on this next Las Vegas gambling trip.

It is amazing how many times I have rolled into some establishment in the Flushermobile, cruised casually toward the gleaming front doors of some highly revered destination, and swung deftly into El Primo Spotto.

It is amazing how many times EPS wasn't available but a spot very near EPS (or SVN EPS) was and I slid the hulking Flushermobile into that spot like I was a doctor on a golf cart.

On so many pre-EPS occasions I've spent fricking endless hours looking uselessly for any spot at all, having been initially rebuffed by EPS (and SVN EPS) and then every fricking row, row after row after row of stupid parked cars, some of them hogging two spots - DAMMIT! - can't anyone drive anymore?

I never said EPS was a rule - I said it was a principle. Like the principality of Monaco. Only much, much smaller. But even Monaco probably has EPS somewhere within its rich, hilly tax-haven borders.

EPS isn't just about parking your car near the door to Penney's so that you can wander like a lost cattle through the endless racks of stuff. EPS can be applied successfully in gambling, too.

When you need a win (and who are we kidding, that happens to be always), it isn't a case of trying to find a win. It is a case of finding the machine or table game that is out there waiting for you... waiting... waiting... to give you that win - just like an empty, lucky EPS.

And then, what you must do is, go directly to it. Go! Go to El Primo Spotto of Gambling! Chances are, unless some very large, sweaty, unkempt rider of buses isn't occupying your EPS, you'll find it, claim it, and become a winner...

... the Royal Flusher Way.

May all your Flushes be Royal Flushes*

*now with 39% more EPS!


    1. OMG you make me laugh! Just the kind of zaniness I needed after a totally crazy, email infested, indigestion riddled, muzzy-headed day.

      Thank you, Royal Flusher, whoever you are. Thank you.


    2. Girl, it is my goal in life to elicit laughter (as long as I still get El Primo Spotto).



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