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Thursday, August 27, 2009

North American Veeblefetzer never looked so good.

Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer grommet maker logo
North American Veeblefetzer was renamed in the  013 Crafty Koreans and Pesky Belgians buy out.
It's getting late and I've already had a long day slaving at my day job at North American Veeblefetzer* and tending the lawns and gardens here at GraceFlusherland Ranch**. I suppose I could have some of my staff take care of these chores when the gardener isn't around (he's on holidays), but The Flusher likes to keep his thumbs, and toes, green.

After all that labor I realize I've blown through about three weeks since we planned the upcoming Vegas trip and have still hardly gotten any practice time in on the Video Poker WinSimulator 3000 featuring WinPoker. There is just no point in risking my hard-earned Veeblecash unless my playing skills are sharp.

So I sit down and plough into some Bonus Poker. I get through 100 hands with only 2 errors and I'm encouraged. The next 100 hands brings three times that many. My accuracy is about 96.5%, a percent higher than last time I tried.

Maybe a change of scene...

So I fire up Deuces Wild with the full pay paytable I'll be playing on at Binions. What could be easier than FPDW? I breeze into it and... crash and burn.

Error after error after error. I'm starting to think that something is wrong with the Video Poker WinSimulator 3000. Maybe it needs an oil change or something.

Then I remember my stash of notes about various video poker games. Pull up the file and find this:

Bonus Poker
Watch for 3SF.
hold low pair over 4ST, 3SF
hold 4FL over 3SF
hold 4FL over low pair
hold 4ST over 3SF
J10 Q10 K10 suited are playable if nothing
else and no penalty for K10
hold 3SF-1 over H, H over 3SF-2!
hold J10suited over AJ! (minor error)

My eyes hurt, my brain hurts, and I am getting very frightened for my bankroll. But staring at the rules, some of it starts to sink in... the part that says 'minor error'. And that's about all.

With this crystal clear knowledge, I will re-apply myself tomorrow.

And I still have to learn Blackjack somehow, in a little more than three weeks.

My day job manning the machines, churning out size 7 grommets at North American Veeblefetzer is starting to look like a walk in the park compared to casino gambling.

*North American Veeblefetzer is the 'nom de plume' of the place I really make size 7 grommets at.

**GraceFlusherland Ranch is actually the 'nom de plume' of my northern estate and digs, which is actually called Graceflusherland Ranch.

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