Wild Royals but Deuces?

Downtown Deuces Wild Paytable

Another sunny Fremont morning

Sept 23, 2009

Good morning from Las Vegas!

One of the best spots on Fremont Street is the Vue bar at Fitzgerald's. It's not the bar, necessarily (who am I kidding, a bar is a necessarility!), it's the little balcony outside, perched over all the downtown action! There isn't a better place to hang out and watch the day unfold on Fremont Street down below. I swear, from the Vue bar, you can hear the dogs on Fremont Street howl.

And why do they howl? Because they understand.

So. You grab a table and chair on the Vue bar balcony, and sneakily pick up the free wifi from the Krispy Kreme outlet, conveniently located for your poaching pleasure right below!

So I got settled in, and started to post this, when I felt a tap on the shoulder.

Shit. The Fuzz!


I gave him my license, registration, and Mr. O'Lucky Fucker secret handshake decoder ring slot club card, but he wasn't having it. Mr. The Fuzz simply wanted me to get the hell off of his wonderful Vue bar balcony. I wonder what was picking his ass, anyway? Maybe he doesn't like this hilarious blog.

So, I have to post this from the Krispy Kreme. And, I was forced - forced mind you, with force! - to purchase a Krispy Kreme Domenut. Waste not, want not, I ate that sweet bad boy too.

Our morning video poker session lasted about an hour and a quarter - and I got only one quad (tens, from 2, in case you were wondering) and Mrs. F got none (from none, in case you were wondering). What is going on???!!!

And, I dumped my buy-in at craps at the Fremont again.

They have $3 craps 24 hours a day now, and the tables there are always interesting. And cheap. Hey, kind of like me!

After that we dumped some money on the only full pay Pick'em around, also at the Fremont. They have these Bally coin droppers that are fairly rare in these parts that are pretty much swarming with IGT hardware. But the pay tables are full pay - 99.95% payback in the long run. The only thing is, to hit that, you have to hit a Pick 'Em Royal somewhere along the way to 200,000 hands. Good fucking luck.

We are both down something like $150 on the day.

But, it is another sunny day on Fremont Street.

Wild Royals but Deuces?

Sept 23, 2009

We played an hour of Deuces at Binions - what a riot! I went on some kind of a tear and nailed four wild royals. That pulled me within $20 of even on the day.

But I still haven't nailed the four deuces yet this trip.

The Quad Queen hit quads on something non-Deuces as well.

But the real fun happened when QQ went to the Ladies room at the California!

I dropped a $20 bill into some slot or other that had a progressive maxed out at $99,999.00 That is a clear indication that this is a progressive that is pretty much impossible to hit. I'm sure it's been stuck there for years, like the oversized Universal machine at Fitzgerald's, eternally beckoning a $65,000 payout.

Half of my twenty disappeared into the drop box in the basement of the Cal and I switched to a nearby (lucky) machine.

And I hit (Five x Pay) (7) (7)!

That's good for $150 - and here I had thought the slots had dried up in Vegas.

Then we hit the "special" Deuces machines at the Las Vegas Club. Oh how I love these machines. They have what used to be called Downtown Deuces on them. Four ducks pay not 1000 but 2000 credits, and the Royal pays a sweet Screw-You-IRS 4700 credits ($1175 on a quarter machine), just under the $1200 paperwork limit. The payback on these machines is 100.92% with perfect play.*

In all, I played 445 hands on a single $20. (Not a married $20, a single $20). And Mrs. F got a $50 quad on Bonus Poker.

There have been lots of stops on various machines - its not as good as it all sounds.

I'm up $10 on the day and Mrs. F is down...

two hundred and ninety dollars.

I am really starting to feel for her. I feel a lot of compassion for her terrible situation, as it is not easy to go through an ugly streak like this with someone (me) yelling "LOSER!!!" every time she gets up from a machine, with no credits left.

We used a 2-4-1 coupon for lunch at Magnolia's and charged the rest to the room. The QQ had a beautiful rib-eye steak, and I had a tasty burger with swiss cheese, mushrooms and fried onions on.

Now we are headed out on Casino Walkabout. We'll take the shuttle to Sam's Town, play a little there, then on to the Strip.

There's a once-a-month promo at Casino Royale where you get a coupon sheet. And one of the coupons on the coupon sheet is good for a $25 bonus for any full-coin-in quad. I'm all over that shit.

And yet... I am concerned - I've hit over twice as many quads so far on this trip as the Queen. She is seeming quadally challenged. And that's not good.

*Sadly, the Downtown Deuces machines are all but extinct as of 2017. There are at least two of them around, at the El Cortez. Play 'em while you can. R.F.