RSS findIndex trimsentences createcard



createItems and other JavaScript code

Item Render Code

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Goddess and the Gobbler


RF Stake: 100
QQ Stake: 200

I like to shower as much as the next guy. And there’s nothing worse than a limp, weak, luke-warm stream that barely has enough power to hit the tub. Same goes for the output of the shower head.

Well let me tell you.

If the Four Queens know anything, they know how to make a shower.

If you need to exfoliate, get room 1029 at the Four Queens Hotel and Casino. The shower was like a fucking sandblaster. I’m lucky I still have gonads. I think I lost three layers of skin. This thing is like… you could pressure wash a 747 with the shower nozzle. It was GREAT. I feel like a new man… probably because I am growing all-new skin.

I met up with the Flusherina who was hammering the upright VP machines near the Keno lounge, and who was, at this early hour, well on her way to getting hammered.

“How was your shower?” she asked, aquatically.

“Amazing. It was like shampooing in an F5 tornado.”

Just then a particularly – shall I say – buxom – cocktail waitress happened by. “Here’s your nectar of the Gods dear,” she says and plunks down what I take to be a shot of Crown Royal next to three empty glasses. Mrs. Flusher is not wasting time on this vacation.

“What’s the best bourbon you can serve me for playing quarter video poker?”

“Well, I can check… let me see.”

A few minutes later she came back – with another Nectar of the Gods – and what turned out to be Wild Turkey.

She put the drinks down. “One for the Goddess – and one Gobbler.”

I still tipped. Don’t ask me why.

A word about the stake – in my notes, it actually looks like this:

RF Stake: 100+100+100+100+100
QQ Stake: 200+150+100

But I don’t want to give anything away.


We started pounding out our morning VP session – three hands in I hit a quad. Nice.

And later on I got four Aces the hard way. I held (AJ) and drew three more Aces for $100. One time at Luxor I held some single high card like a King or something – and drew four Aces. That’s about as tough as it gets.

We had a good solid session playing a full hour on $20 each. Now that’s cheap entertainment. What makes it really fun is shouting out “DUDES!” every time 69 is announced on Keno. That’s good clean dirty adult childish fun!

We made the pilgrimage to the Vegas Club to try for the $500 Deuces again. I really wonder about the VC. It looks like they are sort of trying, but it's so dead in there. The ‘pole pit’ with the pot bellied grindy dancer chicks – it's kind of sordid and depressing.

Maybe it’s the too loud, distorted music – they are just trying too hard somehow. I hope the place makes it but I think it's going to take some kind of marketing genius to figure out how they can distinguish themselves. I fear it will be extinguish, not distinguish.

Had a pretty good run hitting a bunch of WRFs to keep me going in credits. Got 3 deuces to try for the fourth a twice. Nothing doing though.

When we were done with that, we headed over to the California. Oh yes. The dollar coin droppers. PANG PANG PANG PANG PANG! We love these machines, and so do the hearing aid people.

My notes say: “Cal coin droppers. Lose.”


We swung up through Binions to play the full pay Deuces there. I dropped $60 without getting anything much. By this time, I was getting really hungry but because we weren’t getting four deuceses, I thought we should make a sacrifice.

We ate at McDonalds in the Fitz for $4. How can you sell a cheeseburger for like $1.09????

Some cow gave its life for that cheeseburger. There’s shipping costs, refrigeration, processing, labour to cook it, condiments, bun, cheese food product slices. And it's worth a little over a buck. Wow.

More Bonus Poker, upstairs at the Fitz. (And more gobblers.)

I hit my second straight flush and then went totally cold, while Mrs. Flusher racked up the quads. I have her down for a straight flush, and then three quads in quick succession.

In fact, she played 875 hands on $20. Oh if it could always be so easy.

She went on to hit three more quads including Aces for $100 while I racked up the +100s on my stake. I was going into the hole bigtime. She, on the other hand, was going into the hole, little time.

I was really struggling, down almost five bills for the day. We decided to give the Vegas Club Deuces another try.

Wouldn’t you know it, the little Quad Queen gets DEALT the four ducks for a cool $500!!!

Thank goodness somebody is winning!

RF Day -500 Trip -700 <-- br="" loser="">QQ Day +285 Trip +65 <-- br="" winner="">

<-- br="" loser="">


    1. Thanks for writing this. You are very entertaining.

    2. Yup...Well worth the wait

    3. 4 dueces reads 1000 at the top. How is that 500 dollars on a quarter machine

    4. Anonymous, you are obviously a very savvy gamblester! I've added a picture to the bottom of the blog entry that shows the glass from the Deuces machine. You can see it pays 2000 coins for Deuces.

      When Mrs. Flusher hit deal, the machine locked up, said Jackpot, and she was hand paid the $500. I did notice the 1000 on the screen - I guess that's the standard program showing.


    Leave a message for Royal Flusher!