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Saturday, June 19, 2010

Some vacation this is going to be!

Things have been tough at North American Veeblefetzer (now Royal Canadian Veeblefetzer). There’s been a lot of change in the organization of staff on the Grommet Lines, including the size 7 Grommet Line where I work.

Its not that there is a lot of demand for grommets right now, but fortunately we have some fat contracts in the Eurasindia economic region that are keeping us afloat – grommet production contracts that were locked in before this economic repression set in and fucked everyone’s holiday plans.

Yeah, I’m sure a money-saving Staycation is just what the doctor ordered after two plus years of no salary increases, no promotions, and less cleaning services in the North American lunch room.

I thought, screw that, we should just go to Vegas. That night over our Hungryman dinners, I said to Mrs. Flusher, “Screw that, we should just go to Vegas.”

“Screw what, honey? And yes, we should go to Vegas.”

We planned our trip oh so carefully picking out dates in March. But wait. A big size 7 grommet contract extension for the Eurasindia economic region came in – I guess they are starting to build their own cars and things there and need more of our patented RoundGromm™ round grommets. (We really do build a fine grommet if I do say so myself.)

Anyway , we delayed our plans. And guess what, the huge size 7 grommet contract extension for the Eurasindia economic region was delayed as well. And now we have a huge production run just when we are going to Vegas.

The worst part is, there’s a new chick on the size 7 grommet line and she’s a little green. Frankly, a couple of Ring Dings have disappeared from my lunch pail since Marti started and coincidently, she’s put on a few pounds. Unless I miss my guess, these are Ring Ding pounds. You do the math, Marti!!!

Marti is okay, even though she smells like an apartment hallway a bit – and actually, she has some strange habits and, well, she isn’t all that reliable. Like the time she was late back from lunch and forgot to press the interlock on the grommet presser heater assembly rig? It cost us 582 cold pressed grommets, which are not shippable at all. I know its that many because I spent over 2 hours counting them for the GSR (Grommet Shrinkage Report).

So now we are finally almost on our way to Sweet Vegas except Norbert, my boss, has insisted that I carry a beeper, a cellphone, and a laptop on vaca in case Marti fucks up.

Hellooooo – last I checked vacation time was my time. I work my regulation 42 7/9ths hours per week and if I work over 48 3/10ths hours I start booking overtime. Where does it say I have to babysit that Ding Dong stealing Marti while I’m in Las Vegas????

Some vacation this is going to be!

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