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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Wake me when its not over

RF stake: $330
QQ stake: $-95

And so how, you might ask, did the Queenus Quadmeritus start the day with a negative stake?

Well its obvious, isn’t it?

I mean, do you have to rub my nose in it?

My entry in the Official Royal Flusher Gamblog looks like this:

“RF Stake $190 – 20 +100=$270 + $60 = $330.”

Somebody was subsidizing me at some point during the day.

Mrs. F. woke up with pretty much a full on cold and I could tell I was headed in the same direction, with the sniffles. She couldn’t sleep and headed down to the casino at MSS while I futzed around the room, packing, and showering and whatnot, and coming to grips that our vacation was over.

I have often said – I shouldn’t gamble on the last day of a trip. I have gotten my ass kicked on the last day about the last 4 trips running. Seriously. I have the paperwork to prove it.

On a couple of trips, the last day was my worst day of gambling the whole trip.

On the other hand, our flight didn’t leave till after 11:00pm that night and I found myself in Las Vegas with 18 hours to kill before being strapped into the aluminum death tube that would hopefully (?) rocket me back to my (tawdry) life which consists of getting through each day at North American Veeblefetzer.

So what is a savvy gamblester to do? Sit on his savvy gamblester hands while the last shot at Vegas redemption slips away on the merciless clock?

I think not!

And so I made my way down to the den of gamblestering to do my best.

I found Mrs. F was on our usual machines, but she was not actually playing. As I approached I got that little feeling again… she looked sort of happy, not pissed off that she was out of money.

And sure enough, the screen came into view and the pattern looked familiar and very welcome.

A beautiful Royal Flush! What a way to end her trip! And why the hell did she wait so long??!!!

“I put only five bucks in!!!” she exclaimed.

“Fantastic! And look, it’s sequential! …except for the Queen being in the wrong place. And the ten and Jacks being one spot over from where they should be.”

Only five bucks in. That’s the way to do it, isn’t it? That is – the Royal Flusher Way.

We played some more and she managed a couple of quads – both in Kings.

I, on the other hand, couldn’t hit a thing.

We had some breakfast at some point and then went off shopping to find the cheapest, gaudiest gew-gaws we could for folks back at the plant. My favourite find – a souvenir Las Vegas foam rubber toe spreader. Now who wouldn’t appreciate receiving such a fine, thoughtful gift as that!

We hit the MSS buffet for lunch and played some more, alternating with naps. Finally, Mrs. F sent me over to Walgreens for sick supplies for the plane. I faithfully took the list and trucked the 6 blocks over there – just to find out they close the pharmacy part of the drugstore at 5:00 on Saturdays.

I’d missed it by 7 minutes.

I bought what I could and trucked back to the room.

Mrs. Flusher and I played a bit more. I figured I was due because – I hadn’t nailed a single quad all day. Not one!

She got four Kings for the 3rd time and then 3s for $50. Me – nothing.

It was time to see our host and the fact that seen us the day before while we were playing $10 a hand video poker and stopped to chat seemed to have made an impression.

Our room bill was $272. Gloria got on the phone right away and uttered the sweet words “Wipe room 707.” She’d picked up all our extras, and added an extra night onto our stay, comped, so we could have the room up until departure.

Presidential had their limo there right on time and I couldn’t believe it was really over.

When would I see the sights of our favourite stomping grounds again?

When could I ever gamble in Vegas again???



At the airport, that’s when.

“I’m not playing here,” I said.

“We have 2 hours to kill, I’m going to hit Deuces Wild.”

“Give me $60.”

Well, I blew through the $60 on a couple of different games and, this is a first, I did not hit one quad my entire last day in Vegas.

But I’ll tell you one thing – we woke up a bunch of people when we shrieked like a couple of gray haired grannies hitting a buck fifty on the penny slots when Mrs. F, the Quad Queen, held three deuces and got this:

A perfect end to a perfect day for Mrs. Flusher. I just had to look on and enjoy it. My ass had been as thoroughly kicked this day as her ass had been thoroughly caressed by the powdered hands of the Nanny of Gambling, Lady Lueke (the German au pair of luck, actually).

RF: Day: $-390. Trip: $-1060
QQ: Day: $+835. Trip: $+525

Yup, eleven days of hard core video poker and the Quad Queen pulled out a $525 win for the trip. That meant we were down about $500 between us – and all our rooms and meals were comped.

The plane took off on time and thankfully, we had a middle seat open between us again. I slept the whole way to Toronto and dozed on the Grumm-craft Aero-Spatiale Beecherfokker 2-4-D flight to Flusherville Regional Aerodrome.

Another great trip in the books. Another fun trip report. Another great group of readers to enjoy it with us.

I’m already dreaming of our next adventure and being able to utter that wonderful phrase on the first morning:


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