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Saturday, March 12, 2011


Decided to start off another fine day in Vegas with $50 in freeplay I had coming to me. Played that on dollar Jacks but again, could not get a score on the freeplay. No worries, though. I'm hot, right?

Played some quarter Jacks and had a couple of coffees from the waitress. I recognize her from before, but not her chest. A little body work has been done. I hit quad 4s for $31, and then switched to 50-cent. Hit quad 4's again for $62. I ended up playing this down to zip.

Played another 20 and moved on the Deuces. I have yet to hit the damn deuces this trip. I have also yet to get a straight flush (not counting the royal). Dropped 10 in Deuces, 30 in BP. But not taking anything home.

I had played $1500 coin in and was down $60 for the day. That's a decent amount of action.

Had my usual Country Fried Steak and eggs (with Country Throwup on it). Hit the bar for some DDB and managed to hit four Kings from two for $62.

Guess what, I lost it back.

Lost 30 more in DDB, 10 in a slot, 20 in Bonus Deluxe. Switched to a different DDB machine and hit four 8s from 2 for $62.

Guess what, I lost it back. Took half an hour. I must be gettin' greedy or something.

Lost another 20 in Deuces.

I'd put $3000 coin-in by this time which should please the comp Gods.

Tried my $10 freeplay at the Fitz - guess what, could not get a score on the freeplay. WTF.

The weather was stunningly beautiful so I decided to hop the Westlake Airport Express (WAX - ugh) down to the strip and check out the Cosmopolitan. Checked the schedule online in my room and - the bus arrives in THREE MINUTES. I hauled ass downstairs, zipped through the casino, and got to the street in time to see the bus pull up. Perfect timing.

Two dollars and 25 minutes later I was getting of across the street from the MGM Green. What a sweet ride. Only two stops, most of the trip done on the I-15.

First stop, was of course, the Lion's Share slot, which is still un-won at over two million dollars.

The fact that you are reading this, means that I typed this, and that means I didn't win fuck all. (Or maybe that should I did win fuck all.) In any case, no I did not win over two million dollars.

Threw 20 in a dollar VP game trying to get something going. Nothing going.

Stopped by the Sigma Derby horserace game... I really wanted to play this but it was completely occupied by a bunch of folks who were having a lot more fun than I was.

I moved on.

Stopped in at the Tropicoconuticana. Holy crap they have the scent turned up full blast in that place. Why oh why hasn't Las Vegas learned the art of subtlety? Hmm, on the other hand, its Las Vegas.

Got a new players card and checked out their 'First $200 in losses are on us' promo. It's sort of bogus. You get half your money back the same day, but later that day after a cutoff, and the other half you get back a month later on the right day, late in the day, but before the cutoff, and you can pick it up before the end of a year on any day, except you don't get cash, you get Freeplay, and you know how good I am at Freeplay.

I played some weird slot I've never seen before just to break in the card. The place is looking good and aside from the stench of fake coconut, I'd stay there if they threw a deal at me. Anyway this slot was a variant on Wild Cherry. You play three coins but you get three spins. To make a long story short, my 20 bucks lasted forever (where forever == half an hour). If you want to play long and slow for little money, find this machine next to the dice pit.

Walked up to the Cosmopolitan, enjoying the sun and cool breeze of the day. I relished the fact that we'd had six inches of snow the day before in Flusherville.

I hated the walk to the Cosmo with the ridiculous cattle run around the Aria entrance, and going up and down stairs and whatnot. I learned the hard way to cut through the Crystal shops and not go down to the street. I bet the high end Crystal shop proprietors really appreciate the constant moving art parade of sweaty tourist in unpractical footware, heads down texting somebody and clutching a fistfull of pornslapper cards that never stops passing by their doors.

Anyhoo. The Cosmopolitan is quite spiffy. Lots of cool stuff to look at and lots of cool legitimate art.

Got a players card, and found a quiet alcove with a dollar VP machine in it. Slipped in a 20 and played some dollar Bonus. Had a beer. Lost the 20.

Then I decided, for some reason, to 'go for it' and impress the Cosmpolitan's player tracking computer system with my outstanding play. I committed a hundy and went on a quest for a big score on dollar play.

Guess what, I lost.

Then I lost $60 on quarter Bonus. Uh oh. I'd burned through about $250 with no return at all. And it was an hour and a half until the buffet opened. At least I had 3 beers.

My budget was pretty much shot for the day, so I wandered the place, taking some pictures, and garnering worried looks from single women who could tell I was pretty much the equivelant of a vagrant at that point.

Some foolish girls said to me, "Excuse me Mr. Flusher, but would you please take our picture below the Casino sign?"

I said, "Sure." and started shooting with my camera.

They took one of me.

Went up to the buffet and like a complete loser, stood in the line of 7 other people... waiting for it to open.

Let's just say that this buffet is really, really, really good. I love the little miniature serving dishes you get. The selection of stuff was really broad, and the desserts were great. Good table service too. They even changed out my napkin for me.

How many desserts is a 'sensible choice'? Why NINE is.
Finished gorging myself and walked back to the bus stop on Tropicana outside NYNY for the trip home.

Trip took 15 minutes and cost me all of two bucks. The WAX is WAXtastic!!! No more long-haul cab rides for me!

I had $100 in 'mad money' so I thought 'I'll just try one last 20 in the bartop DDB'. I lost that 20.

And then I lost another 20.

And then I lost another 20.

And then I lost another 20.

And then I lost another 20.

Luck has fled me today, and I finished down $520 for the day. Ouch.

But tomorrow is another day, and the start of the Video Poker tournament in which I'm entered. We'll see what happens.

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