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Monday, March 14, 2011

Double Double, Vegas Trouble

I'm kind of tired of casino coffee so I meandered down to Starbucks at the Golden Nugget for a tall vanilly lattay granday mochay javachino frappay with an extra shot of espresso, eh. About five bucks for the brew.

Stopped in at the Bonus Poker at GN just to try to take those bastards for a third (lifetime)royal. I really wish they would respect my business and send me some free room offers like they used to. Golden bastards.

Dumped 20 there, and started my morning play at the Fork Weens. Dumped 40 on BP, and another 40 on DDB. Was dealt 4 to a Royal again, but nope.

I had a five dollar chip left from last night so I played it on Mrs. Flushers anniversary, which also coincides with mine, coincidentally. We both lost.

My wallet was empty, having been voided of last night's remaining stake. This meant I had to go to the Flusher Vault, which is accessed through my room. A series of keycodes take you through smaller and tougher doorways. The last keycode disables the laser system and a non-copyable physical key, permanently grafted to my person, opens the access panel for the actual safe itself. Once open, I pushed aside my iPod, assortment of pornslapper cards from the strip, and a pair of dirty foam earplugs, and retrieved two crisp one hundred dollar bills from one of the stacks which I keep at the back of the compartment.

The locking process completed, showered, changed, and proceeded to the tournament in the casino. My stake was $305 for the day, with one third of it gone already.

I really played hard and made few mistakes, but I'm sorry to say that I did not achieve any quads in the tournament. And by the way, it was Double Bonus not DDB. That means no Aces with kicker (or any other kicker quads) can be got. So the two quads I got counted for a lot, and I figured I needed one more to get into the money.

One person had got a royal so I figured they'd win. In fact, I was dealt four to a royal, but did not achieve royalness. Not very savvy gamblestering, that.

Anyway, attentive readsters will recall my score yesterday was a healthy 1800 and change. Today I managed only 1190. Grand total, 2995.

I would have to wait until the tournament ended to see if I won any cash or not.

I was feeling kind of down about things so had country fried steak and eggs with country throwup on. That always cheers me up.

Then I lost 20 in Bonus Deluxe and 60 in DDB. That always pisses me off.

The day was wearing on and still I had not had any quads at all. And that, my friends, can eat away your budget big time and fast time.

The best thing to do, for me, is forget about building my points at the place I'm staying, and shop around some. Do a casino walkabout. Get 7 seconds of fresh air walking from one casino to another.

I found myself in Binions. Dumped 20.

Now I'm down 200 for the day, and have 100 to go.

Check out Vegas Club. They have signage up that says they've loosened slots by 40%, including video poker. And indeed, I easily found full pay Bonus, full pay Jacks, and full pay Double Double on some machines.

Naturally, I chose to play short pay Super Double Double Bonus.


Because I am an ass, and I am chasing. I'm desperate, okay? I've been a winner and I like it, and a loser and I hate it. And I want to be a winner again soooooooo badly!

Well, I held 3 Jacks and got the fourth for $62.50. At last!

Put 20 in cashed 70 out. I was back on track, for now.

I figured this was the time not to hammer machines for long periods, but to take small wins and try to build my stake up.

Headed for the Golden Gate, walking extremely extremely slowly past the sexy bikini bar girls outside the casino.

About 15 to 20 minutes later, actually entered the Golden Gate.

Bought in at craps for a paltry $20 and cashed out minutes later for a slightly less paltry $41. Another win!

Played 5 bucks on some slot at the Golden Nugget (bastards!) and doubled it. Played that into Bonus Deluxe but lost it.

At this point I was down 109 on the day. It was time to perform a mission that Mrs. Flusher had assigned me but first I had to make a quick stop in the room for some errr reading. Quickly went back down to the casino and plunked $20 on 9 on roulette, straight up.

It came in looking like a 23 (damn you Ron Lancaster!) instead of a 9. Some guy pipes up that 9 rolled twice in the last 3 minutes. I know you know what I'm thinking, reader. And I know that you know.

Back to the bar and time to light up the Jack Daniels candle at both ends. $20 in, DDB, and gone in 36 hands. What the hell????!!!!!

At least the drinks are coming fast. The barkeep starts serving doubles, and without me asking for refills.

And finally, I hit quad 9s for $62 and one minute later, quad deuces for $108!!! It's weird how these things clump together.

Here's the 'Flusher's Eye View' of the deuces from the FlusherCam:

Here's the sober view.

I started to feel invincible. At this point, I was only down a paltry 20 bucks on the day!!!! I cashed out my ticket for $180 and regroup, putting in a 20 so as to not play down my winnings for once.

The Aces with kicker are fat at over $600 on the meter. And I haven't hit them all trip. Haven't hit a straight flush either, for that matter.

The 20 goes.

Put in a 20, as to not play down my winnings for once. I lose it. I drink more.

Put in a 20, as to not play down my winnings for once. I lose it too. I drink more.

Put in a 20, as to not play down my winnings for once. I lose it too. I drink even more.

It's okay though, I have a $180 ticket in my wallet, right?

Check out the tournament results. The first 12 people win cash.

I placed 15th.

Missed cash by 3 lousy spots. One more quad indeed would have done it. The royal would have made me the winner. Would have. Should have. Didn't. Damn it.

Fine, over to Fremont to play some $3 craps, except there aren't any. It's been $5 all weekend. In fact, downtown has looked quite healthy this weekend.

Dump 20 in Pick'em. Dump 20 in Bonus Deluxe.

Stumble out and decided that the Fitz bar would be a good idea. We've seen high progressives on the straight flush there before. And indeed, it is at $120, which is about double normal. I shoved in a 20 and started playing. Shoved in another 20 and kept playing.

The lady next to me got it.

Then I noticed that the value of a non-premium quad (5s through Ks) is also double normal, at $72. I pounded for that, putting in a third (losing) 20.


I stumbled around and happened to notice a bank of nice old slant tops with a $1550 royal progressive. So I plunked down and lost 40 at that.

I weaved back to the Fork Weens and tried the simplest safest most sure fire beginners game of all video poker - quarter Jacks or Better. I lost 20 almost immediatly.

At this point, I was seriously considering going to Walgreens and buying a picture puzzle of Las Vegas, and sitting in my room and making the puzzle to pass the time.

Instead, I went (where else) to the bar. Double Double Bonus. At this point, I feel sick. I redeemed myself, now I am screwed, my day is lost, I'll have to admit it to everyone, and I'll be a loser.

So I keep playing.

Shoved in a 20.

Shoved in another 20.

At that point, I was pathetically down to only $40 in my wallet left for the day. It looked like I was going to crash and burn.

But I did think in my head, "keep plugging, just keep plugging, good things can happen". Needless to say, I was playing very carefully, considering the libations I'd enjoyed.

After a good number of hands, about 240, I held three 9s and bagged the forth. $62 win. Faint hope.

And then, only six hands later, this little beauty made my entire fucking day.

The meter on that one was up to $280. Now, I have seen too many streaks not to believe in them and I always play a few more hands after a win, just in case. And no kidding, FOUR hands later, look at this.

Holy mackerel!!!!! I was up on the day!!! I was a WINNER again!!! (Ergo, I was not a loser!!!!!) I had $442, that means I'm up $137 for the day!

Played 5 or 6 more hands and cashed out for a cool $400.25

Dinner time! Had the rib special at Magnolias. I won't harp on what happened but the rude waitress got stiffed by me. (Not in the good way). I don't take to rude waitresses very well. But she was rude. Very very rude. Her rudeness was evident and on rude display. Her name was Rudy.

Decided to have one more little kick at the can, reserving 100 in profits for the day.

Long story short, lost 20 on DDB, then got on a good run on deuces cashing out 50 from 20.

Net net net net net I have $450 - winnings of $145 on the day, $1165 on the trip.

Tonight I am happy.

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