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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Vegas versus Home

Not much of a contest is it.

This morning, Chippy, my beloved Chihuahua / Dane cross decided to wrap the little string she goes out on around a fencepost and as a result, didn't have enough slack to get inside again.

Chippy is a pretty smart girl. It's said on the night she was conceived there was a full moon, and an awful lot of screeching and howling going on. But Chippy could not figure out how to get back around the fencepost.

So I had to go out to fix things for dear Chippy, who looked as confused as a first-day Taco Bell employee, and on way my up the three large patio steps that lead to the yard from our walkout I slipped on some wood that was wet, slimy, and dewy with all the terrible rain and cold weather we've had this spring in Flusherville.

Fell flat on my face and I'm lucky I didn't chip a tooth.

Went out into the yard to untangle the string and of course, stepped in a steaming pile of Chippy shit in the brand new New Balance 609's I brought back from the Premium Outlets on my last trip to Vegas.

So now I've got bleeding hands, bruised knees, and a couple of loafers full of poop. I'm cold, and I'm shaking. The forecast is for more rain, and lots more poop.

Meanwhile in Las Vegas, by comparison, we have this from last night:

Mrs. Flusher (the Quad Queen):

Even though we are habitually quarter video poker players, we dabble in dollars only when it is statistically indicated by the expected value of a play, combined with comps and offers, that it is mathematically okay to do so. Or, when we just feel lucky.

After the first quad on dollars, I played for about an hour, then had a delicious selection of dinner foods at the Main St. Station Buffet.

Played more dollar video poker and lost. Then I tried dollar Treasure Chest and got dealt quad 7s! You get to pick one of five chests to see what you win for a quad. The lowest is $140 and the highest is a ridiculous $5000 (which is a long term goal for me.) I got $180 and a $3 scratch card.

Then I got quad Kings from 2, and picked a $140 chest.

Then I played more and lost. then I played quarters - tried 3 different machines, and lost.

Then played another quarter machine and got quad 2's for $50. Then lost.

(RF: Probably a $2 scratch card, she didn't say).

Then decided to play dollar Bonus Poker again and was dealt two Aces. Nailed the other two for a nice hit.

Total for the first day: up $151.

(RF: She also says: It's a lot more fun with you here.)

Well its a lot more fun than being here too, sugar. You get the scent of comped drinks and second hand gambling smoke - I get the pleasing scent of a dump in my seedy living room.

All I can say is, I am not a competitive man. I am not an angry bitter competitive man at all. It's a goddamn good thing she is winning though.

Well, got to grab my lunch and head off to the size 7 Grommet line at North American for the day. Let's hope Mrs. F's luck builds!

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