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Friday, May 13, 2011

Three times a charm

It was Monday Morning. But it was Monday Morning in Vegas and that meant that everything was cooool.

Things were actually kinda weird. We'd each had Royals, but we were both on sort of losing streaks anyway, outside of those major hits. The quads weren't coming and there was a few ways you could look at this. Without the Royals we'd be screwed. With the Royals, we were losing on everything else so we weren't up like we should be so we were kinda screwed. I think the 'without Royals we'd be screwed' thinking prevailed.

We banged around and I broke my streak with quad 4s and kicker for $203 at the bar. I'd had only 2 quads since my Royal the previous day. Mrs. Flusher managed to go down $-400 in no time. Not looking great for her trip anymore. The only thing to do for her, was to get hammered at the bar. That was easily accomplished, along with more losing, and witnessing my quad 4s.

The ultimate penance for losing was... to have to buy a keno ticket and go play keno in the room, watching the games about every 9 minutes unfold in blazing action on the 28" out of focus flat screen television. Now that's livin' large on Lake Labarge, I can tell you.

Mrs. Flusher thus ensconsed in the room, I pondered what to do. I machine hopped, looking for luck.

I played 20 in Boner Deluxe. I played 20 in Deuces. I played 20 in Double Double. I played 20 in Triple Double. I played 20 in Bonus Poker. I played another 20 in Bonus Poker.

All of them drained like the credits were being sucked down through a credit sucking hose into the credit sucking basement of the credit mothersucking Four Queens. In fact, I was down $340 on the day. I hadn't played Jacks are Better (better than what?) yet so I tried that and Hey! got on a kind of a run.

I played for 20 minutes, got my credits up somewhat and even did some 50 cent play. I was getting a ton of 3-to-a-Royals and was pondering what I would do if I nailed one. Had to switch back down to quarters and played down to maybe 15 or 20 credits, and then played it up again some.

Billy Idol was Rebel Yelling through the casino and I watched my play carefully, and saw the first needed card come up and then the second one.

My exact words were, "Oh fuck yeah! FUCK YEAH, BILLY IDOL, FUCK YEAH!"

Pretty edgy for a savvy gamblester like me, I know, but I got carried away in the moment. We'd had a Royal a day for three days. How sweet is that? I was up $570 on the trip!

I called Mrs. Flusher while the credits were still ringing up and didn't say a thing. She said, "Did you get a Royal?..."

She came down and we played some more. For good measure I got a quick quad, and cashed $1100 plus out of the machine.

We hit Binions for some DDB and a couple of cheeseburgers with fried onions on. OMG they are so good. I think I've mentioned that they are 'grease running down your forearms' good.

When things are bad for Mrs. Flusher, she hits the pick'em. She said, "I need a couple of quads here." And it's true, she really did.

Feeling lucky, I played the $5 Wheel of Meat for $10 a spin. Dumped $120 quickly there. I really wanted to take some shots at winning big this trip. Thus the Lion's Share and other dollar slot the day before.

We played around some more and finally got around to checking Mrs. F's Too-Drunk-to-Gamble Room Keno ticket. -- keno -- Holy crap! In 16 years of going to Vegas, this was the biggest Keno win we we'd ever had.

She played 20 games for a buck a throw and on one game, she hit 8 of 11 numbers. A couple more and we would have won like $25K. I went up to the counter and complained, "This game is not run normally.I know that this is true, because we WON something."

Mrs. F. went back at the video poker and I went off to the craps table. Bought in for a hundred, table was cold. Stake was down to $75. Then $45. Then $25.

Point was six, I had red on the pass line and put everything I had down in odds. It would have been a shame to bust out as the drink service was amazing. I was getting these HUGE Absoluts on the rocks every 7 minutes, like clockwork. Six, winner! Sweet! I'd taken it balls to the wall and was still alive.

The table hotted up and I went on a tear. Went from zero to $245 including what was on the table on the last seven out. Cashed out $290.

Along the way, I'd bet 3 times for the dealers. I was the only one doing so.

These damn Four Queens dealers, they didn't say a word when I bets down for them.

After the third time, I'm half in the bag and getting all obnoxious, saying, "YOU'RE WELCOME...." "Yes sir, YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THE BET...." Nothing.

I've read that Four Queens dealers have a reputation of being rude, and I've seen it myself numerous times. I usually shoot dice elsewhere. When I colored up one dealer said, "thanks for the bets". Okay. But sheesh.

(RF Note: On another trip, probably after this one, I bet for the 'boys' and was admonished because one of the dealers isn't a boy. I've haven't shot dice there since.)

I was kinda loaded and kinda hungry, so we stumbled up the stairs to Noble Roman's/Subway and we each got foot long subs. Went back to the room, sat down at the desk, took a bite and it was delish! It was AMAZING and exactly the thing I wanted in my drunkgry stupor.

Then I fumbled the fucking thing and it fell.

Some of the subway guts spilled out, there were jalapenos everywhere and mayo all over the carpet. The chicken was still sort of inside the bun.

I looked down at the mess on the carpet and swore and picked the sub up.

"It's still good, right?"

"You're not going to eat floor subway. You'll be eating hair, gunk, scum, and death."

"It's still good, though, right?"

I finished this fine day up $430 on the day, and $380 on the trip. Mrs. Flusher was firmly in the hole -$160 on the day and ouch -$776 on the trip. And the next day, we would be on a plane out of Vegas.

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