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Thursday, July 28, 2011

How about some Nooky

I'm not really feeling very sorry for myself but if I was, I would order some extravagant electronics to make myself feel better.

The Quad Queen and the MotherFlusher have been very quiet indeed. I am concerned that they are 'overdoing' it (i.e. spending all my North American Veeblefetzer pension money).

Anyway, to make myself feel better, I ordered myself a Barnes and Noble Color Nook e-reader. We can't buy this model in Flusherville, so I ordered one up and I'm having it delivered to the Smug Nugget, c/o Mrs. F. I paid extra for express delivery which is supposed to be 1-3 business days.

Hopefully it will arrive in good time, and hopefully the hotel won't fumble it and hopefully Mrs. F won't have any trouble lying her way through customs with it.

I have Chippy here with me at the FatherFlusher's place. Chippy is such a delight. It was a beautiful summer day so I took her for a ramble. She's an easy walker, except if she encounters another dog. In that case, she rears up on her hind legs and goes off like a bomb. She scrambles and wriggles and if you heard it, you'd think a pig was being slaughtered in someone's front yard.

We left the house, walked approximately 17 feet, turned a corner, and some stupid-ass mook decided to have their mop-like dog tethered to their front door by a length of string. Well of course Chippy went of like a bomb. She struggled and barked and tried to get at the little white rat which was also barking at us like nobody's business. Chippy managed to wriggle her way out of her collar, halti, muzzle, and harness and I had to tackle her to keep the carnage down. Chippy is such a delight.

One thing I'm really not used to, and not keen on, is the whole 'stoop and pick up your dog's steaming, smelly mushy crap' laws. In our neighborhood, every dog has its day. Every single day.

Not so in the FatherFlusher's fancy-ass gated adult-only nose in the air stuck up community.

I did have a couple of plastic bags with me, but I just prayed that Chippy was already pooped out from her after breakfast time in the yard.

Anyway, we had a nice walk. No more issues, until we were 17 feet from the house. That's when Chippy decided to squat and strain. I'm pretty sure I saw her look back at me and wink.

Of course, she didn't do this on the grass, she did it on the sidewalk. And walked along while doing it. And some pieces rolled down the hill. So I found myself pretty much chasing rolling steaming dog turds down the sidewalk so that I could capture them in my 'loot bag'. How proud I must have looked.

Apparently Deline Cion was actually pretty good, if you like that sort of caterwauling. In fact, I think it probably sounded like when Chippy encounters a white mop-like dog.

The gambling has been up and down. Mrs. F. has had some luck with some key quads such as hitting Quad Aces on dollar Bonus for $400. But basically those wins are getting drained away.

One big piece of news - the chicken pot pie at Du-Pars is quite good. I don't know how they can keep the funster level up to such a fever pitch. Or are there things I'm not being told???

Next on the show list was Jubilee, and I am sure that was as entertaining as always. Not sure what the women do around the show of boobies - do they look with interest, do they compare, or do they focus on the colorful feathers?

We ordered a couple of pizzas for dinner. They guy came and Chippy decided since the nice crystal-meth fiend delivery man had two steaming hot pizzas in his hands and was probably about 99% on his way to heading straight back to anger management classes at the community center, she should do her delightful 'SIC BALLS' trick and dive snout-first deep into the man's crotch.

That cost me an extra five-spot on the tip.

Chippy is so, so delightful.

Hadn't heard much more by the end of the day. I put Chippy out and brought her back and put a couple of dog cookies in her favorite toy - Red Bone. Its a rubber bone with holes in it for treats. Chippy reared up and stepped in an entire bowl of water, knocking it over and dumping it everywhere. Chippy is so delightful.

And by the end of the day, the package tracking on my Nook showed that it had left Sparks, NV and made its way to Las Vegas. It's looking good!

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