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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Back to the lab to see what's on the slab!

Apparently, I have more than a little snoring issue.

I'm actually getting woken a significant number of times per night, and my sleep is getting (how did they put it?) -messed up -  as often as 30 times an hour.

I stopped breathing in my sleep a lot - one time for over a minute.

Last I checked, I need breathing to live.

It's weird because I don't remember any of it. But it would explain a few things.

I guess I'm happy that they can treat this with a CPAP but I wonder what damage I've done over the years. And I wonder how much more of a smart-ass I could have been on the size 7 grommet line at North American if I'd had my full complement of oxygen each night.

Anyway, in a few nights I will be going back to the Flusherville sleep lab to find out what settings I need on the CPAP.

In cases you are wondering what a CPAP is, its basically an air hose and a mask that forces air into your airway to keep it from collapsing. I can't imagine that it is any different from trying to drink from a firehose but we'll see.

Apparently the CPAP is up to 97% effective and adds 15 years to your life. A sobering thought considering how many times I dismissed the idea that I might have severe sleep apnea. Notice I said 'up to' - is it like those banks of slots in Vegas that pay 'up to' 97%???

The good news is... I was able to book lucky bedroom number 3 on the same night the very soothing and quite attractive Nicky is on duty. 

If I ever wanted a woman to put a facemask on me and fill me full of sweet Brazilian stewardess humidified air - its Nicky.

Do you think I will be able to get her to read me a bedtime story this time???

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