Another sadly crappy Excalibur offer

When we were in Vegas 6 months ago we did some pretty heavy DDB play one day at Excalibur. And last summer Mrs. Flusher played a few hours of dollar VP play at MGM.

And it triggered a pretty nice offer - 3 nights at Excalibur, $75 freeplay.

But now I'm getting these crappy offers like this one:

$25 in FREEPLAY® or Promotional Chips - okay...

Guaranteed Rates! $21 Midweek and $38 Weekend Rates Per Night - whoop-de-fuckin-doo.
$50 Your Choice Resort Credit - hmmm

Apply your Resort Credit to any room charges made during your stay - room service?

VIP Services Check-In - a higher quality of deskling to check me into my cookie cutter sleeping cube.

This is all very nice, but in the fine print there's a resort fee.

Wouldn't that eat up the $50 worth of "Resort Credit"?


I'm saddened that I'm getting these crap offers after they dangled a pretty good one just a few weeks ago.

And looking at the offer artwork, I don't get it. Do you... walk down the red carpet to your waiting stretch limo which then... whisks you across the street to stupid looking Excalibur?

Nothing says class like a hotel with a blue, orange and yellow roof.

Anyway, we know where we're going when we arrive in Vegas - the California, where there is TRUE class. Fortunately for me, its lower class, right where I fit in.

! I booked it last night and I can't wait - I think the first machine I'm going to hit will be the $1 Treasure Chest slant tops at the base of the escalator.

I also have booked Chippy in at Left B-Hind Kennels - I managed to sneak the reservation in before Mazie jacked up the rates.

Mazie is a lovely woman of 130 who has that "I smoked 3 packs a day of Mark 10 unfiltered" look to her skin - sort of like if you took three times too much face and packed it onto a normal sized head.

Mazie reads this blog - just so she can jerk me around.

Her blue hair is just the color of the haze of cigarette smoke that surrounds her like a deathly halo. Fortunately, she isn't allowed to smoke inside the kennel - not since the unfortunate recent Flusherville Fire Dept. visit. Who would have thought a pail full of dog poop could give off that much methane??

This morning we are working on our other booking plans.

Dumbasses - just noticed this in the fine print:

"Offer valid through October 31, 2011. Offer has to has be booked by November 18, 2011."

Surely a bunch of knights and damsels could check their Gregorian calendars before sending out these email 'offers'.