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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Breathe to me only with thine lungs

I wish I could say the first night was like a wedding night for my lungs where my CPAP cherry got broken and choirs of angels chorused while my dreams took flight and deep, deep, satisfying sleep ensued.



The thing that delivers the 800 foot-pounds of air pressure to my nose and lungs is called a 'nose pillow'.

This thing amounts to a couple of air-injecting nose cannons made of silicone, attached to a hose, and a jockstrap, and attached to the CPAP (with cup holder, CD player and air humidifier).

I'd tried out a smallish over-the-nose mini-jockstrap in Dr. N. Hale's (Jeez that is corny) sleep lab for an entire night. And I'd tried out the oh-so-chic nose pillow in Bridget's office for a total of about 45 seconds.

Because I am interested in proven results, instead of chic fashion, and in reducing risk by going with what I know - I strapped on the nose pillow the way a middle-aged housewife might strap on a 'good for the gander' love toy - carefully, with many false starts, and ending with an overall violent strap tightening that would give Dr. Frankenfurter nightmares.

I know - it sounds sexy - but its just some goddamned silicone thing stuck up around my nose.
The first night was weird. It was fitful. I woke up a lot. I hated the fact that I am so defective that I will have to rely on this contraption for probably the rest of my days. I wondered about how I would take this to Vegas and would it make me be able to concentrate better and win more.

I thought about a lot of things.

And I wanted, frankly, to rip the horrid, invasive, blow-me wind-tunnel of sleep death off my face and throw it out the window.

But is that what a savvy gamblester would do?

I think not.

In the end, I stuck with it all night long. And I saw the following times on the clock: 11:30. 11:35, 12:24, 12:48, 1:30, 2:30, 2:40, 2:50, 3 something, 4 something, 5 something, 5 something and a half, 6 something...

And then it was light and I'd made it through the first night.

It wasn't a great nights sleeps, but you know what?

I felt good. Maybe it was just the euphoria of being able to take the nose dildo off, but I felt good. And I really felt like I had had better sleep than usual.

The day bore that out - I had more energy, and could think. My time on the size 7 grommet line at North American flew by.

Maybe just maybe this is indeed the way forward for me.

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