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Thursday, November 24, 2011

The Keno Results Will Not Be Televised

The Keno display in the room runs on the oh-so-reliable Microsoft Windows.

Headed over to the Tickets 4 Tonight booth at the Four Queen's to see if we could get something good to take Lamondo and Clevedge to. I seriously thought about buying just 3 tickets because I doubt Cleve would be able to see anything at all with those greasy 10" bangs hanging in front of his face.

Honestly, after a year of knowing the guy, I still have no clue what he actually looks like.

I wonder if Lamondo even knows.

Picked up four tickets to Mystere for something like $77 each. We haven't seen this show in about 10 years and it seemed like a good first Vegas show for Lamondo, so we went for it. I had no idea if we were really saving money or not.

Hit the bar at the Four Queens to have a few and play some Double Double. One of the bartenders, good guy, lots of fun, was sort of going nuts off to my right and I stopped to watch.

First he threw something over his shoulder in the general direction of the garbage can - ice went everywhere. Then he start this funky pelvically-oriented dance and I realized the object of this attention were three good-looking, inebriated women, sitting at the bar.

He lined up three martini glasses and poured some stuff in them and he also had a glass of cream. More pelvic motions and interesting looks on his face.

I should have known where this was going.

Using a straw, some grunting, and some rhythmic pelvic (there's that pelvis again!) motion, he squirted cream into the glasses, one by one.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cringe, or smoke a cigarette.

The women enjoyed the show, cheering him on, and he said, "Drink up ladies - it ain't gonna hurt you. All my kids are priceless!"

I went back to my game and heard him mention something about "Magically Delicious!".

I must, I simply MUST get the name of that drink, and make sure that I never, ever, ever order it at the Four Queen's bar.

We hit a few quads and Mrs. Flusher made $218 on her $60 freeplay, thanks to a spectacular four Aces hit, from one held.

We've done okay on that freeplay in the last couple instances. I love taking money from the casino!

The bar was great fun, and we even had a possible Elvis sighting.

Lamondo and Clevedge took the bus downtown and we showed them the ropes, old school. Starting, naturally, with the El Cortez.

We had some drinks, some laughs, and played some coin droppers. I played two of the three remaining non-computer driven slots and got my ass kicked on them. Mrs. Flusher hit a couple of $100 quads on Bonus Deluxe and the kids plunked merrily away a quarter at a time.

Of course, Lamondo put some coins into the wrong machine and jammed it and we had to call a couple of techs over. The first guy opened the machine and told us that the guy to fix the problem was named 'Long'. He used to delight in paging him as "Mr. Schlong".

We were killing ourselves joking about all this and sure enough, here comes a little chinese fellow with the badge on his shirt confirming his name.

I looked at him, he looked at me, and I said, "So, are you long?"

He was a really nice guy and loaded up the machine with 5 quarters for Lamondo to play, which took her awhile as her bad eye kept leading her to press buttons on the machine next to her.

I gave the kids a craps lesson on the three dollar table at the ElCo and we had fun, even though our luck sucked. I made both of them throw the dice. We were in a row next to the stick, me, Lamondo, Clevedge, and then the stickman.

The dice got pushed to Clevedge for his first ever roll, so he promptly took two of them off the table and trotted down to the end of the layout for his roll. The crew freaked - "HEY, HEY, KEEP THE DICE ON THE TABLE!!!"

I have to admit, I snickered a little bit. I never thought to tell him that you shoot right from where you are. Maybe he's seen too many movies through those 10" bangs where the shooter is ALWAYS conveniently at the end of the table.

We brought the kids back to the Four Queens bar where I forbade the bartender to put on any 'performance art' in front of Lamondo.

If she hadn't been there I would have ordered one of those 'special' drinks for Clevedge, who still hadn't actually said a word to us. I don't know if he can talk, or if he even has a face.

Had dinner at the 777 brewpub on points - quite good. Lamondo and I had prime rib, Mrs. Flusher the chicken philly - so good! - and Clevedge grunted out an order for a mushroom laden cheeseburger of some sort. The three of us agreed it was a good meal, and Clevedge, I think, was nodding because his 10" bangs were swaying back and forth.

We grabbed a cab down to Treasure Island - thank goodness, a sane cabbie for once. Played some there and lost $100 but then had some luck on Super Times Pay. Mrs. Flusher was getting clobbered on straight quarter triple-play.

Super Times Pay has me addicted. I can barely stop playing that stupid thing once I get started. First of all, the version I chose was 10 play. I played dimes.

So, you are dealt cards and you play 10 hands at a time. You hold the cards for the base hand, which also get held on the other 9. When you hit deal, each hand is played independently with differing results from the same base set of held cards.

Along with this you play 1 coin per hand extra to enable the random multiplier. Every so often, the multiplier comes up and it multiplies everything you win by between 2x and 10x. So the holy grail of the game is to get a good, winning dealt hand, and get a big-ass multiplier.

I managed to win $100 on this to get even at T.I.

We headed into the 9:30 show and it did not disappoint. Everyone was impressed by the two, very strong, male acrobats. Who knew that doing handstands with your crotch one inch from another guy's face could be so artistic.

I also liked the baby act and since the show, every 6 minutes, I look at Mrs. Flusher and whisper "Pa pahhhhh". You had to have seen the show to make any sense of this, I suppose.

So we get back to the room after bidding the kids good night and sending them off down the strip, and the truth comes out.

Mrs. Flusher, unbeknownst to me, has dumped $900 on the day.

This is definitely NOT the Royal Flusher way.

Meanwhile, I managed to get through the day with a measly $25 loss.

So on the trip, I'm up $115!!!! Which is some sort of a miracle.

And Mrs. Flusher is actually down now, $-325 under water. How is it possible???

"Pa pahhhh!!!!!"

    1 comment:

    1. My Friend and I are dying of laughter about the drink,, Its called a "Cum Shot",, I imagine it was either Dante, or Mike served it. They are hilarious!

      Thank you for your great trip reports!


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