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Thursday, May 3, 2012

Revenge is a Dish Best Served After Eating With Gordon

The Royal Flusher Vegas Song of the Day is Frank Sinatra - Luck be a Lady

Down I went to the bar and hit the Double Double Bonus again. And if you checked back recently, you'll see the nice little pic I posted from the Flusher Fone.

Ordered a beer and played. Nothing much was happening, and in fact, got down to just 10 credits. Hit a full house or something to get back in the game and in a few minutes, yup, hit the Aces for just under $225, my biggest single win so far of the trip. Didn't manage to catch the kicker, so I guess I still have some work to do.

I wasn't done though and in about 2 more minutes hit quad 10s for $65 and in about 5 more minutes was dealt quad 4s. It's nice to get a dealt quad and it's even more fun when its worth $100 and you get the chance to draw for the kicker to make it $200.

Sadly, I pressed the button at the wrong moment and there was no kicker for me. But still!

Cashed out $400 on a $20 buy-in and hadn't even finished my beer yet. My day was looking really good. The day's budget of $300 was intact and I was pretty much up $300.

And that means the Revenge-o-Meter is up too, because I'm up on the trip. That's a gooood feeling.

Had some errands to take care of. Needed some shaving cream since I couldn't fly with it in my carry on, and I had done a survey, and signed up for email offers, both acts of which were to net me $5 free play apiece a the ElCo.

(I still can't believe they renamed Fitzgerald's The D - at least I did see a poster talking about 'finding your D spot' in the joint, which tickled my rude funny bone, but sheesh what a craporama name.)

Took a W through to The D sat on my A, scratched my Bs and played some VP. Tried to win Free Meat. And failed yet again. I've yet to manage that so far this trip.

The upstairs is 'sposed to be their 'old school vegas' area but honestly, it hasn't changed at all.

And to my sadness, the promised Sigma Derby game that was supposed to be there in April was nowhere to be seen. I checked with the folks at the restaurant upstairs and yes, the "Colonel Sanders and Mary Brown can take it up the poke's nose this is the best fried chicken I've ever tasted" fried chicken is still on the menu. But they've changed their policy on those coveted Free Meat tickets - you can't apply them to other menu items anymore - you have to take the crappy steak they give you when you win the Steak Dinner.

Another great angle in the Royal Flusher Way bites the chicken bone.

Headed over to El Cortez, checking out Neoncrapolis I mean Neonopolis on the way. In all the years we've been staying downtown, I'd never ventured into the place before.

It was sort of like entering Tutankhamun's tomb - cold, dead, with hard cement walls, and no sign of life -  except that there was a cool toy store in there. Other businesses are starting to spring up on the outside, so maybe this place has a chance. I walked through and exited and finally understood why the El Cortez built that walkway with palm trees and such a block north of Fremont - it connects to Neoncrapolis. Sort of. After you've taken your life in your hands crossing the boulevard.

The helpful folks at the El Cortez slot club informed me that the $5 'green' bonus for signing up to have my offers emailed instead of printed and mailed, thus killing precious tree fibres, could not be honored unless I PRINTED the email confirmation and brought it in.

I just gazed across at the boothling. My eyes got a bit glassy. She looked back at me. Her eyes darted to one side, and I knew she knew what I was thinking.

"I have to print the email."

A bit of drool started to form at the corner of my mouth.

Sweet revenge for this tomfoolery came in the form of blowing through the $25 of freeplay on Mrs. Flusher's card. She's not here, so why not? She'll never find out, unless she reads this.

Kind of bounced around a bit, tried some dollar play in the Dollar Coin Dropper Cave on that Bonus Poker machine I had the last ditch epic run on last trip (see Who Really Cares) but nothing doing.

Sat down at a blackjack table and bought in for $45 which quickly disappeared. Well, it didn't exactly disappear per se, I bet it and I lost it. Bought in for another $20 and got on a nice run, eventually cashing out $105 for a $40 profit on the session.

On the way back to the hotel, I stopped in at Walgreens and perused their myriad display of both branded and Walgreen's no-name branded shaving creams. I selected Walgreen's gel (comparing it to Gillette gel like they said to) and bought it. $3.99. Got some water, and hauled ass for the room to regroup, stopping at the Keno lounge to pick up a $20 ticket.

In an textbook display of degenerate 'always in action' technique, I put on the keno channel and cranked the sound up to full so I could hear the numbers come in while showering.

There is no reason not to be gambling at any time, in any place, whilst in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. (Part of the R.F.W.)

The shaving cream is probably excellent and compares favorably to Gillette's except for the fact that I couldn't get any of the stuff to squirt out of the fucking can. I got about 6 drops out, enough to sort of shave. It was more like sanding my face than shaving with a razor.

Walgreen's. Fail.

(Do people still say that 'fail' stuff these days? Maybe it's outdated? Fail fail?)

I went down to try some parlay action on Jacks 'R Better. The idea is to play a 20, get up to some profit, and increase denomination. Repeat until you are playing dollars, then make out like a bandit.

The first round kind of worked, started on quarters, worked up to 50 cent, then some dollar action, then it fell off - but the first 20 cashed out 60.

Tried it again, not so good.

I lined up for dinner at Magnolia's, and struck up a conversation with an interesting little fella. He didn't have his players card for the special (ribs) so I said I'd vouch for him.

Then he said he'd share my table with me. I wasn't sure I'd heard him right but when the moment came, fuck it, I said 'table for two'. And off we went.

Gordon travels to Vegas with his brothers and sometimes sisters. Gordon plays keno on the machine and that's all. The way to do it, Gordon says, is to play just one number until the machine 'warms up'. He told me how they have 'tightened' the machines so they don't win as much.

We ordered our ribs and talked about this and that. Gordon wasn't too much of a conversationalist. Gordon may still live with his Mom.

Gordon has a video poker machine at home that his sister got and a guy worked on it one time and said, yes there is a button to push that will make the machine never give a royal flush.

I know it's true because Gordon says.

The meal ended, and we sauntered up to the desk. I put the meal on my room, flourished my treasured Players Club Card, and obtained the discount. The cashier said something as I was getting cash from Gordon (probably hard won Keno machine winnings cash) and I asked her to repeat it.

Then I asked if I had to sign, and she said you already did. Then I asked for my copy of the receipt and she said it's there, you already have it.

So I told her that this was only my third time in any restaurant.

I was limiting my funds this night, wanting to preserve my win on the day. I tried a double double bonus machine at the bar near Fremont, the end machine on the inside, next to the cocktail waitress station (in case you want to go and find it) and slipped in a 20.

And that's when the first part of the Vegas Revenge Win plan really bore fruit. Or actually, in this case, a thousand revenge dollars.

I hit a Royal Flush from two!!!

This day was a good, good day.


    1. Congrats...Now celebrate with the Moco Loco yo.

    2. That will buy a lot of Piezo Transducers! Well done!

    3. My favorite kind of revenge! Congrats to you and thanks for the entertaining TR.

    4. How many grommets does one have to produce to earn dough like that??


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