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Wednesday, May 13, 2020

Blowing Hot Air

Reposted from the 2012 classic Vegas Revenge - Part 2 the Sequel 3: Avenged trip report.


I had some plumbing work done in the laundry room and, this afternoon, I ran the dryer for the first time since then - I'm washing all my Mark's Free Underwear, and a couple of other things to wear in Vegas.

Well I fired that sucker up and got a face full of lint. The vent hose had cracked. And here I am with a washer full of wet Free Underwear and no clothesline.

Okay, so I trundle off to Family Owned Hardware. I asked for some dryer hose and we went to the back. I found the same stuff that failed, and measured off 10 feet of it. But there's a wire in it, so the clerk had to go find wire cutters.

As I was putting the box back I noticed it said, "Notice - not for venting dryers! You will burn and die if you use this product anywhere near your dryer."

Great.

So I had to explain all that, and they had some other stuff - fancy aluminized hose - but it only came prepackaged in 25' lengths. Long story short I had to take all 25 feet of it. I took it all, like a man.

I got home, pulled the dryer from the wall and prepared to swap out the hose.

There is no worse sound in the known universe (or, at least, my basement) than the sound of a dryer being slid reluctantly across the bare concrete floor. It's some sort dryer of self-defence mechanism.

I got the old one off, and saved the screw rings that look like some kind of S&M ball sack torture device. I'm pretty sure I saw a few of those in Norbert's office one time.

Boss Norbert's S&M Ball Sack Torture Device (sometimes used on dryer hoses).

I grabbed the package of new aluminized hose and on it it says, "Notice - not for venting dryers, you dumbass. You will void your house insurance and burn like a bug under a 7-year-old's magnifying glass on the summer solstice if you use this product for any kind of hot air, particularly a dryer. Fucking dumbass."

Then it repeated it in French: "Ne pas fumer".

Great. So now I've got to take this package of 25 feet of aluminized non-suitable air vent back to the Family Owned Hardware. I grabbed my keys, and my hose.

That's when the phone rang - Mrs. Flusher calling in with some of the news of the day. I explained that I wouldn't be able to make it to Vegas unless I got my clothes dry somehow, and explained all about the stupid dryer vent air hose stuff.

"You know that plastic stuff we had isn't even allowed to be near a dryer?" I said.

"It was there for 10 years," she replied.

"What am I gonna do now?"

"There's some of that stuff behind the laundry pump box - should be right by the washer."

I looked, and in a bag, behind the laundry pump box, I found a stash of the same hose we had before. I also found a few old copies of  'Gent', which I would put to good use later.

"Yup it's here...."

I took the aluminized hose back to the Family Owned Hardware, got my money back, and bought some beer.

I got home, put up the old shitty hose, and got my laundry going. I got a couple of beers, turned over a milk crate, and sat down where I could watch the fire-hazard hose, and started thumbing through the first copy of 'Gent' (Home of the 'D' cups).

And meanwhile, while I've been going through all this shit just to get a couple of pairs of Free Underwear ready for the trip, Mrs. Flusher has been kicking all Vegas ass up and down Fremont Street.

In actual fact, she's exacting the kind of monetary revenge that this trip report has as its theme - which in a nutshell is, win back my lousy fucking $3000 from the casino bastards.

Just take a look at some of the highlights from today's video poker exploits:

Aces - $100



Deuces, same hand as above.
Another dealt quad...

Oh please. DEALT straight flush on triple play??? Mr. Hockey is working overtime. She still hasn't found the good luck charm.


And another straight flush.



Aces again. I asked why she isn't playing double double... she said because when she does, she doesn't win. So whatever is working, I guess.


Hmm, Double Double, looks like it works to me.


Y.A.D.Q. On 50 cent this time.

I can't wait to get to Vegas and spend some of these winnings!!!!





    6 comments:

    1. Yikes-- this is amazing!

      One photo shows quad 4's paying 600 coins (this is on a 50-cent machine)-- what game is that? I don't recognize the pay table.

      ReplyDelete
      Replies
      1. I believe that is Triple Bonus Poker Plus. Kind of an unusual pay table. White Hot Aces also pays 1200 for the Aces like this game does.

        Delete
    2. Triple Bonus Plus, I believe

      ReplyDelete
    3. Be careful with the dryer thing. My Bil and Sil house burned down last Father's Day because of a fire in the dryer. They spent the entire summer at my house-which was a little cozy to say the least. Found out months later that they used the living per diem to buy some new furniture instead of getting a temp apartment.

      ReplyDelete
    4. I am a little scared and shocked that the stuff we were using for years is not safe. It'll get sorted right after the trip.

      With metal.

      Sorry about the per diem thing, they could have at least used it to fund some video poker.

      ReplyDelete
    5. These reports are dangerous to my prospects of continued employment. I was reading your latest version at work and had to stifle my laughter so much that my cubicle started shaking. Lord knows what the rest of the office thought I was doing behind those closed half walls. Keep 'em coming.

      ReplyDelete

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