Diamonds are a girl’s best friend

Breakfast at Magnolia’s that morning was a quiet affair. Mrs. F had Old Reliable (28th club sandwich of the trip). I had chicken fried steak (with somewhat dodgy country gravy).

We charged breakfast to the room and set off to see about some free dinner – to the Meat Machines at the Fitz! Mrs. F. made short work of the task hitting four sevens for $31.25 and a free steak dinner. We’d won so many meat coupons that I started to fear for Greg the Horse’s future.

Would he be turning up at the Queen’s plate?

I played only $5 through and then sat back to watch the Quad Queen bang out yet another one, a $50 quad this time. (I declined to mention that the hundred dollar dash would have also been a good time to hit some quads, sensitive, caring soul that I am.)

The attendant remarked as he filled out her "free steak with four-of-a-kind" coupon, “You again… get a Royal and we’ll give you the whole cow.”

I felt a desperate need to make some more magic happen. For me, this meant a trip back to the room at an opportune moment while Mrs. F. continued the Meat quest.

After a restful sojourn on my throne, I got ready to leave the room and the thought popped into my head that this was the sort of occasion on which the Missus usually hit a Royal and I should bring the camera. ‘Nonsense’ my ego yelled to my id, and off I went to find her.

When I arrived at the machines, she wasn’t playing. I thought, well this could be really bad news, or maybe it could be good news.

I walked close enough to see her screen – and found she had stopped playing because she’d hit a Royal Flush in Diamonds for $1000. A wonderful, beautiful, trip (partly) saving, automatic gold medal awarding Royal Flush!

Sadly, they had refused to actually award a meat coupon, or a cow. Free meat was for quads only.

Well fine. I fished out five quarters and plunked them into the machine next to her. I played for half an hour on those five quarters, some 250 hands. When I had the machine up to $20 in credits, I hit a quad for an additional $31.25, plus free meat.

Meanwhile, the Clean and Jerk stakes were starting to get serious – today we’d each have to bet $50 in one shot. The over/under on the Leafs vs. Canadiens game that night was 6 – I bet $50 on the under. Mrs. F had decided to go for a $50 slot pull.

We strolled over to the Nugget, to the high-limit area and she picked her machine and fed a $100 bill into it, planning to cash out after one $50 pull. She pressed the Bet One Credit button and pulled the handle.

I heard a ding. She’d hit… something. I looked and it was three spaces. The little sneak had picked a machine that returned your bet if no symbols lined up. She’d broken even at the $50 level of the Clean and Jerk.

We stood thus: RF: $20 QQ: $64.75, with my $50 hockey bet still outstanding

We tooled around Fremont street a bit. I suspected Mrs. F. was feeling the same way I was – a little tired, a little tired of losing, and a little down as our trip was close to ending.

The day was frittered away, wandering here and there, from casino to casino. It was sort of like Christmas day once all the presents have been opened already, when you are content to kind of while away the hours, knowing that most of the excitement is already behind you.

The Score Royal Flushes in Diamonds!: QQ: 1, RF: 0
Club Sandwiches: QQ (at least 2, with somewhat dodgy bacon)
Chicken Fried Steaks with very dodgy ‘country gravy’: RF: 1
Restful sojourns upon throne resulting in Royal Flushes: RF: 1
Free Meat Coupons: 2

Clean and Jerk: RF Bets: none Winnings: $20 QQ Bets: $50 slot machine Winnings: $64.75