RSS findIndex trimsentences createcard



createItems and other JavaScript code

Item Render Code

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Crash of the Phoenix

One of the things that I thought would reboot my heart would be to have a spiritual experience, like maybe driving out to the desert, alone, before dawn, and chanting as the sun rose slowly over the Sierra Nevada mountain peaks.

Well, I got up very early on Wednesday and sure enough, I could see by the reflection in the side of the Wynn that sunrise was just about to happen. I said a few mantras ("Aloha! Aloha!), did some chants ("Taxi! Taxi!") and I could kind of feel something moving. It might have been last night's buffet.

I checked out the other of my two panoramic windows and spied a sign from the Gambling Deities. (Or were they Demons?...)

There was a thick plume of black smoke, seemingly signalling me. Bright orange flames licked the sky from below, doing a cheap, slutty imitation of Gene Simmons' classy tongue moves.

I envisioned myself part of the spectacle, rising phoenix like into the dawn sky, like a phoenix. The phoenix being the bird that arises from the ashes.

It seemed like a pretty good karma recharge to me. On the other hand, it was just a bakery fire.

I took my 350 in chips from the night before and lost some at VP at the bar (no quads) and then played $150 in 50 cent BP. (no quads).

The remainder ($100) I played in 50 cent BP and I really hammered it hard, going for a quad. I got it up to $140, then switched to dollars. Got it up to $190 and switched to $2. I was so overdue for a quad it wasn't funny. I hadn't had one since noon the previous day!

I played many hands at $20, had many 3 of a kind draws, but could not get it. I ended up going back down to $100 and cashing it out.

This was devoted to craps which I lost in 7 minutes.

I was in trouble and I knew it. Time to make use of the rental car and go on walkabout. And maybe win $2.28 million. I stuffed $200 Canadian in my wallet and headed out to Radio Shack.

After all, I'm on vacation, why not live it up?

I picked up an electronic part for a friend - something he couldn't get in Canada. Got to see some of Vegas and got the part.

Now on to... the airport!  After all, I'm on vacation, why not live it up?

I sat in the pull-off area for a while in the sun and watched the planes come in. I thought about all the dollars they were bringing to lose at 50 cent Bonus Poker like me.

They have the ATC feed on an FM frequency so you can listen to the radio traffic. It's kind of fun if you are broke and have no life and like planes.

Next stop was a hole in the wall liquor store to pick up room supplies. I had a feeling I was going to need them. I grabbed a mickey of Gentleman Jack and one of Schmirnoff 100 proof. Good jet fuel indeed.

Another thing on my bucket list was to check out the huge Fry's store I always see on the way in from the airport.

Oh my God it is electronics HEAVEN. I spent a long while drooling over every imaginable electronic part, book, software, consumer, toy, accessory, you name it.

Big slot machine in Fry's facade. I didn't win on this either.

Big coins for the big slot machine.
 Next stop, the fabled Lion's Share machine. It ate $220 of my dollars, let me play for 50 minutes, gave me a shitload of MILFE points, got me upgraded to Gold, and got me a 'free' buffet.

BlueSkadoo happened to be lurking in MGM just at the same time and came over to commiserate. I gave her a patented R.F. business card to give to her Mom, to see if she would see me.

Gordie, get me $2.28 million!!!!
Had Lions on all 3 reels. Just not at the same time.

$220 buffet comp.
Ate the buffet (crab legs) - it was okay, but I've had too much buffet lately. And then headed back to the room at T.I. to get stoked for one more night at it.

Somehow.... somehow.... the bottle of Jack has half of it missing. I can't imagine how.

But fueled up, I headed down to the blackjack table. Bought in for $100, and went on a bit of a tear.

Yup, got it up to $300, and cashed out $250.

Then I played a hundy in VP. (no quads).

Had some drinks along the way, played about two hours of VP (no quads) and got tapped out.

Total fucking unmitigated disaster tilt tilt tilt horrible day. Not even the power of Gordie Howe could save me.

The numbers are pretty grim. As near as I can piece it together, it looks like this.

VP (slots): day (-720) (what happened to that loss limit???) trip (-1260)
BJ: day +150 trip (+250)
Craps: day (-100) trip (even)

Total trip (-1010)

(Note: I revised these figures once I figured out what the hell was actually going on. And it's worse than I originally thought. Damn you, Vegas!)

By the way... this was a day without ANY quad or other significant win on VP whatsoever. And I haven't had a quad since noon the previous day, so it's pretty much 2 days without. Boy does it hurt.

Well, I have the ashes, bring on the phoenix.


    1. I am thinking the VP is being illegally tightened beyond the means attainable via pay table changes. Of course that theory is commonly debunked by the "No casino would risk their license" retort. Uh yeah tell that to Enron.

      Not to rub salt in the wound, but I hope karma is headed your way for getting me into the Boner Deluxe which delivered me a $1,500 profit during a 30-minute lunch session today on $2.

      Oh yeee, though the hindus speak of karma, I implore you oh holier than thou-ness, in the name of Aunt Edna, give this man a FUCKING QUAD!!!

    2. My recent trip (other than the myriad of poker tournaments I played) looks similar to yours... lose at VP, win a bunch at blackjack, put all winnings into VP and slots, then repeat until the plane leaves.

      Makes me wonder why I (and now you) didn't/don't just sit at a blackjack table for hours?


    Leave a message for Royal Flusher!