Credit Zero

Continued my button-pushing VP tour of the Four Queens and ran through $200 on Double Double and then Bonus Poker. Got down to about $50, worked it up to $250 on dollars, and then down again to zero.

All without hitting a quad.

I figure I've played about 2500 hands today with nary a four of a kind, which is quite a feat of loserdom, considering they happen about every 400 hands, statistically speaking (if you're not a LOSER.)

I needed to regroup and headed over to the Fremont to try my new craps strategy.

The success of this strategy is hinged on a hot shooter making multiple passes of the dice without sevening out, while you press up your bets and siphon off the profits, kind of like one of those Wall Street investor guys.

Because you don't have a lot of place bets out there, and take only single or double odds, your exposure per roll is less.

I bought in for $100 and before long I could see a trend. The approach is a bit boring, but my money was lasting a long time.

It went 'lose a bit, win a bit, increase bets a bit, lose them, lose a bit, down to $50, worked back up to $95'.

An hour had passed and I had my original stake. Still waiting for that hot shooter.

Lost slowly again down to about $40 and then the hot shooter came. The guy was rolling numbers like nobody's business and one big Hawaiian guy was making hay with heavy hardways bets. He hit one for $360 and then another for $480. But he had about $50 out on the hardways.

My stakes built up. Started at the $5 level. Then $7. Then $10. Then $15. It was the first time I'd gotten this high. I did place the six for $6 and pressed it up to $18. That hit once.

The $15 point got made and I was about even again on the session.

Then I hit a critical juncture. I upped my passline bet to $25. The point was 10 and I put $25 in odds behind the line.

The shooter, a skinny guy in a red shirt with a cap on, set the dice, rubbed the felt, patted it, and shot. Over and over.

See, this was a $125 decision for me. If he sevened out, I'd lose $50. If he hit the 10, I'd get back $125 and keep going.

"OUT!"

Groans and claps for a long roll.

And after about an hour and a half I was up a dollar, which I threw to the crew. Yeah, I'm a fucking whale.

But I think this boded will. I think it boded very well indeed. Many's the session I've had where I've lost $100 in half an hour. And I rarely take off more than double that. I think this strategy is really good, after a statistically microscopic number of trials.

Having downed a few Coors Lite brand beer beverages, I headed to Chicago Brewing Company to have one last bash at VP.

Well, I could barely make my money last long enough to get two or three Absoluts (okay, four), and order a disc to go. Yup, I blew through $120 on DDB in about half an hour and NO QUADS.

Back to room, slink slink slink, eat the pizza, burp burp burp.

How could I go through a day with no fours of a kind whatsoever? The Quad Queen would NEVER let this happen.

There was only one solution - go on walkabout.

Changed a couple of Canadian Hundies in Golden Gate to get the 5% free play bonus.

Let me just say that they have completely stacked that place with hot dealer dancer chicks in hot skimpy outfits. So much so to the point that it became almost embarrassing, since most of them had nothing to do except stand around and pretend they weren't being ogled by every passing male (myself excluded). It passed exciting and dipped into tawdry.

I made a mental note to come back here often.

Played the freeplay, got nothing.

Hit up the Plaza for the full pay Boner Deluxe - found it. This would be my salvation. Unlike Golden Gate, which was just my salivation.

Any quad pays $100 and I was due, baby.

Well, I didn't even get a drink ordered and blew through $60.

Where now?

The Vegas Club.

Well, it's dying a painful death. Dumped $10 in some stupid slot for some reason. The whole back half of the place is empty and the floor has half the machines on it it used to. They've dumped the big signs touting better payback and lost the tons of full pay video poker machines they used to have. The place feels temporary and I'm sure it, and the Plaza are on life support. I can't see them not being sold in the next year unless they figure it out.

One thing I noticed in both places, the groups of machines seem to be laid out so as to be completely random, mentally unfathomable, and very unpleasing to be around. It's like the slot manager sneezed on the blueprint for the reworked Plaza casino and put the machines where all the green dots ended up.

Where now?...

The Cal!!!

Yes, the California, back to one of my 'lucky' machines.

And the old dry river...


... it won't be dry no more. I'll let the pictures, all taken in about 20 minutes, do the talking.

I ended up down about $100 on the day. After all that.

Down only $190 on the trip so far.

Am I good, or what?