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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Go for Broke! Part 2!

There's something about being on the edge of your budget, playing hard, trying, trying to get that thing that you need to stay alive.

I love this, but only when it actually works. When it works, the fear, anxiety and tension blossom into euphoria.

When it works, you feel like you could do anything, you feel redemption and rebirth.

When it works, you feel smug, smart and pretty.

When it doesn't work, your day pretty much just plops into the bowl.

Hand after hand, I pounded the machine. I had a headache. I didn't care. I had a backache. I didn't care. I had to piss like a racehorse. I cared, but I 'used' then tension.

I'll let the pictures tell the story.

Got a quad, making a bit of money.

Was getting down there, then ALMOST a dealt royal. SFL instead.

Sweet! Fours! No damn kicker though.

Six hands per point, you do the math. Or Math Guy will.

No kicker, who cares, its $200!!!
Yup, I cashed out $350 and my budget for the day was pretty much restored! In fact, I was up $40 on the day. I checked out, got my cashback ($33, I had $10,000 coin in over Saturday night, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday morning), grab the keys to my rental Ford Urbancan, and head south to T.I.

T.I., the artist formerly known as Treasure Island, is a place near and dear to my heart. It was here that I got my first full pay Royal, my only dealt Royal, and my only dollar Royal, some 15 years ago. It's changed a lot since then. For one thing, its scented heavier than a french whore's armpit. French whores are known for their armpits, which smell of coconut, and deeper in, a cloying flowery smell, which is pretty much exactly T.I.

I valet parked the Ford Urbancan and headed in. Even though the lineup was short, it took half an hour to check in. I asked for a Royal Flusher Complimentary Upgrade and was put into a corner room with panoramic view. And actually, its pretty sweet, view-wise.

The goal at T.I is to get established, and get some offers, so we can hang out in some nicer rooms sometimes, play around here and maybe Wynn... free rooms are great but the rooms downtown are pedestrian at best, except for the Nugget. And sometimes they are pretty cruddy. I like free, but I'm missing the glitz of the strip. Maybe the playable VP at TI is the answer.

Needing a libation, I saddled up at the bar and played some quarter Double Triple Bonus Fucker Poker, hoping for a big quad, since the paytable is so short-pay anyway. I got an Absolut on the rocks and it was pretty tiny. Tipped. Lost some.

Put in another 20 and got another tiny drink. Tipped. Lost some.

Put in a 100 to Go For Broke and got another drink. The bartender says, "Oh, look, for some reason, it seeeems to have poured a better shot..." In other words, play big, and keep the tips coming. I tipped. Lost some.

The drink was indeed pretty stiff, more like what I am used to at the Mike's bar downtown.

The 100 went, no quad, so I went for the safer, full pay 50 cent Bonus. These machines, it turns out, pay 1/3 the slot club points of other machines. This is why I hate the strip. God forbid they should give the gambler a fighting chance. BP still has a healthy house edge for the average player, because we make mistakes. Anyway.

I met with some success, getting a nice dealt quad for $65ish bucks, and just 3 hands later, hitting quad 3s for $100. WOOT!

I grabbed some lunch at the coffee shop, the blackened chicken, which was grilled to perfection. It was served on a panini, a bed of lettuce, and some stuff they called an 'signature carmelized onion reduction chipotle pho demi glasse red pepper infusion ariola'.

In Canada, we call that stuff 'sauce'.

Things were going well and for a change of pace, I hit the craps table. Bought in for $100 and after a couple of losses, a roll started with a very agitated shooter, young guy with an attitude.

The thing was, even though he kept getting into altercations with the crew, the kid could somehow shoot numbers.

My new craps strategy worked beautifully. I pressed and pressed again. The shooter kept making his points. I broke my own rules and placed the six and pressed it up to $18 after one win to get my investment back. It hit once at $18.

I worked my way up from $10 on the passline to $15 to $20 to $25 to $35, where the guy finally crapped out. I checked my rack (!) and I had $290 in there. I probably made $230 on this one shooter. This, to me, has the T.I. coconut armpit stench of success to it!

Tried a couple more hands, which both lost.

When I colored up, I had $250, a $150 profit. I barely had enough time to have an Absolut or two.

Back to Bonus Poker and hey! hit four queens again.

At this point, I was up $150 on the day after all the ups and downs.

What could go wrong??

Time to go on walkabout and renew my acquaintance with the strip sites. There sure are a lot of pornslappers out there. It's a crime... how heavy a pocketful of those cards can be.

I have to admit, this is where... well, you can look at it 2 ways. You could say I just didn't get the quads. Or you could say I went on tilt.

Headed over to Caesars to keep my stupid TR card alive and, because I didn't have a 20, put a 100 into triple play Super Times Pay. This game is my kryptonite.

$100 gone in 5 minutes.

Bailed out of there and went to see the IP before it is completely unrecognizable. There are elements of the old cheesy girl still there, like the weird looking bars. I found the spot where The Marathon happened - four hours on one $20 bill on an ancient Sigma 9/6 Jacks machine. I dropped half a tear and got out of that hole.

Walked through Harrah's to Casino Royale. By this time I was parched. Lost $60 without even getting a beer. Bailed.

Back to T.I.

Back to Super Double Triple Fucker Bonus at the bar. Why? Because Aces with kicker pays $1000, that's why. (But not to me... dropped a hundred there.)

Now I'm down to $100 left on my VP stake for the day. Ugh.

Had a late dinner at the buffet (free buffet comp with my room deal). Stupid to have buffet half an hour before closing. Not sure I really deserved the shitty quality. The Tuscan salad they tossed me was pretty much the best thing I had. Yes, it's important to get your salad well tossed from time to time.

The lobster ravioli was hot, saucy and cheesy. But everything was so incredibly salty. Even the desserts were old and dried up.

Yes, you can sense the day going in the dumper can't you...

One last VP hundred to go... I tried Boner Deluxe, thinking I was so overdue for quads that getting one would save my butt. Flipped over to Bonus for a while, played really slowly.

Can I just say that the drink service on the machines at T.I. is shameful. I played 50 cent VP for 2 or 2 1/2 hours and was asked if I wanted a drink a total of one time. ONE. That does not happen downtown.

Okay, where was I? Ah yes... broke.

I thought about cashing in some of my craps chips and keeping going but... a loss limit is a loss limit, right? I'm pretty proud that I stopped playing VP right then and there, having lost my $400 for the day.

Instead, I saddled up at the $10 blackjack table.

And hey, pressed some, got on a run, played an hour and a half, and made $100. So on BJ and craps, I turned $100 into $350. Not too shabby.

VP: day (-400) trip (-540)
Craps: day (+150) trip (+100)
BJ: (+100) trip (+100)

Overall: day (-150) trip (-340)


    1. Well done. Enjoying the reports so far. How long are you staying? My wife and I are flying in Sunday night. I'm a long time troll on the VMB from the states. Let me know if you want to meet for an Absolut

    2. seems like the VP is a money drain, but then again maybe the BJ/Craps would be if they were a wholesale replacement for VP. I wonder if they would let us just BYO a PS3 into the casino so we could have the fun of playing, but without any expense!


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