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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

Well, Sandy was touted to turn into quite a bitch. The eastern US was warned about being hammered hard and Flusherville was warned about a possible pounding as well. I watched the coverage late into the night, wondering how Mrs. F and Chippy would do.

I was also worried about the trip home on the redeye later that night... flights on the Beechcrash planes from Toronto's Island Airport had already been cancelled... but there was no word that there were problems getting into Toronto. The last thing I wanted to do was take a redeye into Toronto overnight and be stuck there for a day.

Or go to the airport for the redeye only to have it endlessly delayed and then cancelled in the middle of the night with me stuck at McCarran for hours. There were all kinds of dumb scenarios, all of which involved no sleep, no fun, and a sore ass.

Time for breakfast and my fourth round of eggs-over-hard-sausage-hash-browns-sourdough-strawberry-jam-coffee. I was tired of it, frankly, and decided to get 'all mavericky' and change things up a bit. Kick it up a notch.

Go for it. Balls to the wall. Crystal balls even. Go for broke. Take a flyer. Take a ride on the Reading.

I did it! I ordered: eggs-over-hard-sausage-hash-browns-sourdough-grape jelly-coffee.

Arrived at the coffee shop at 9:25:30. Seated at the counter at 9:26:00. Order is in and coffee in front of me at 9:26:30. Breakfast arrives at 9:34. Temporarily pined for strawberry jam at 9:35. Out the door at 9:47, paid for with my last wrinkled up Aloha food booklet breakfast coupon. Try that at one of your fancy-dancy zooza overpriced oligopoly Strip hotels!

I found it hard to have much fun during the day, watching the storm get worse and worse on TV, sadly packing up, and constantly checking the Air FU Canada site to see if my flights would ever become eligible for free rebooking. I clicked through the links a number of times and was turned down over and over. Because according to the A FU C crystal ball weather wizards, my flights were still going to go, Frankenstormi-shiticane or no. Sometimes I wanted to kick them in their crystal balls... when would they cancel my flights???

I did do some play and had the usual up and down results with no heavy wins or losses. The day wore on, and I thought about whether to chance the WAX to the airport (necessitating a wait on the intra-terminal shuttle at the WAX dropoff) and finally thought fuck it - I'll book a limo. I've done pretty well this trip, I deserve some dignity.

Got a quick hit on Double Double and went up to the room to get on the phone to the plant.

They have been having trouble on the Size 77 Euro-grommet line at North American Veeblefetzer and needed me to troubleshoot. We have a big order of size 77 grommets but the grommet releaser is generating a 404 page not found error, according to what Jimmy Poon is telling me the big red and green flashing lights say.

We worked on that 404 error all morning long. Lunchtime rolled around and I rolled out of my room. Just outside the elevators was a group of three people. It was that sort of group that you can't figure out the situation at all. Is it a guy with a sister and a mom? Is it husband and wife and daughter? Or mother in law? Three friends? The one thing that was clear was that they didn't know what they were doing. As in how to get the hotel door open.

The guy, who looked a lot like a dweeble, was trying to push the keycard in hard and rattling the door, naturally to no avail. I paused and did a pantomime of inserting the key, removing it, and opening the door, complete with snazzy sound effects.

Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

He rattled the doorknob with the key in.

Then he pulled the key out again. Nothing.

Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

He pushed the key in really hard, trying to trigger something, and yanked on the door handle. Nothing.

I walked over and took my own key in hand and demonstrated on the room next to his. Shhwit in. Shhwit out. Open.

Ah!!! The light went on. He deftly slipped the key in, out, and pulled the handle. Unfortunately, he'd deftly slipped it in and out upside down and backwards.

Tough times call for tough and direct measures. I took his key, flipped and righted it, and handed it back for him to try... just as one of the three of them dropped an SBD.

Thankfully the door opened, and the thanks I got was a lungful of greasy fresh fart.

It saddens me that the next paragraph is on Oxtail Stew, but it is. For that was the special, and that was lunch. Not quite as good as the first time, but still good.

Hey, host Wendy from T.I. returned my call regarding the comp change to see what needed doing. Good follow-up, appreciated.

I watched the news a lot. There are many people in every kind of misery in the east and I wish them well. If the biggest problem I had was whether or not my flight home would be delayed, I was pretty lucky.

The point of no return was approaching and I started packing up, my Vegas trip over. I took my time sorting through things and getting everything together, trying to keep my carry-on under the weight limit. I decided to call Presidential for a limo... it was late in the afternoon and I figured a 9:00pm pickup would be good for my 11:30pm redeye.

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