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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

The perfect gambling strategy: part 1

I'm in search of the perfect gambling strategy.


Because in about 5 short days, I'm going to need it as I frolic through the gaudy carpeted casino aisles of Las Vegas.

It's time I got serious about gambling. A year go I lost $3K on a trip and it really shook me. The next 2 trips I watched my Ps and Qs and through a combined careful strategy and some timely luck kept my losses to a combined $-250. Not bad. Too much work you say? I'm a guy who has fished a dropped dime out of the john. I washed my hands 300 times immediately after but still. Pathetic, right?

It was a beautiful late summer day on my deck in Flusherville, a cold brew sweating droplets of dew at one side, faithful Dane-huahua Chippy at my other side. I'd just grabbed an Air Fuckyou Canada seat sale ticket to, as Hall and Oates so aptly put it, "the holy land, Las Vegas" (in their 70s classic 'Las Vegas Turnaround' off the not so 70s classic album 'Abandoned Luncheonette').

Pad of paper, and pen, and I'm sketching out possibilities.

Here's how it looks. I have 10 days roughly. And I have a budget of $3K. Seems easy, right? The thing is, I want to really win some money. And I want to have fun. And I want to minimize losses if it goes bad. I really need the perfect strategy.

I have a new parlay craps strategy that requires about $100 per session. If it works, I could win some big dollars. But that takes out of my Video Poker budget. And I want to play some blackjack too.

Royal Flusher Perfect Gambling Strategy #1

Let's say I set aside $100 a day for BJ and craps. The VP option would be a $200 stop loss budget per day. In other words, if I drop $200 in a day on VP, that's it for the day. BJ and craps is (are?) separate.

Pros: spreads my losses out across the trip, preserves all-important budget, removes likely 'tilt' scenario in which I drop many hundreds of dollars a day chasing losses.

Cons: I could be out of VP money before my first pre-breakfast cocktail. Then what? Also, $200 is very little to ride through the variance. A lot of times you have to drop a few dollars to get to the sweet spot where you win some. Especially on Double Double Bonus - you can easily go through $200 without any quads.

I took a sip of my cold beer and petted Chippy on her gigantic head.

Royal Flusher P.G.S. #1 would not cut it. I'd have to do better.

I let out a satisfying BRAPPP belch and got to work on R.F.P.G.S #2.


    1. Oops. Just saw your 3rd post. I'll be in Vegas through the 22nd. Maybe we can get together and curse Bettman over some Loco Moco. Send me an email at and we'll plan something. And save me one of those collector item Flusher Cards.

    2. Crap......looks like i'm gonna miss you guys. I'll be there on the 1st & over the wk/end...4 Queenies of course


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